Breastfeeding too long? Child abuse?

Question

Okay, so one of my neighbors is still breastfeeding her kids...they're 7 and 5. I say it's really gross at this point (although I think breastfeeding is best for infants....but these kids are in elementary school!!!). I find it especially disturbing that the little boy (5-year old) will look at his friends and say, "Hey! Watch this!" and then run over to her, lift up her shirt, and go at it.

I told her that I think breastfeeding at this point is just wrong and that she must be getting something out of it.......maybe she likes it? She doesn't have any infants, these are the only 2 kids. At what point is enough enough? I don't socialize with her much anymore.....I find it way too weird.

more info: the other kid is a girl and while she will breastfeed, she doesn't yell for her friends to watch. But my neighbor is quite busty (think Dolly Parton-sized) and so it is quite a show for the boy and his friends. She will let him breastfeed wherever they are: the mall, the park, outside in the yard. It doesn't must matter. I met her for lunch this past fall and she brought the kids with. They BOTH breastfed at the table in the middle of Applebees. The waitress about dropped her tray. I didn't bother eating anything. Too nauseated.

Oh...and she isn't a different nationality or anything. Brown-haired, all-american mixing pot descent.

Answer 1

the show and tell aspect of it is kinda disturbing...I got to wonder why this women thinks it is a good thing to teach her children to lift up a womens shirt whenever they want to...
I don't know if it is child abuse - it does not sound healthy...and I think these boys may develop many issues from this...
in the words of dear abby who was talking about a women and her 4 year old "the child is old enough to start using a cup, and I don't mean a c-cup"

Answer 2

I personally think that once a kid gets teeth that it's a scary thing to do still breastfeeding.

I know from experience and learned in my college nursing program that the benefits of breastfeeding (in terms of nutrition, not bonding) are adequate for six months after a child is born. By then, they need more nutrition that breastmilk can provide.

I wouldn't do it...I don't necessarily think it's right or "normal" but you have to remember that in the ancient world, 2000 years or so ago, that children were breastfed up until the age of ten. There was an article about a mummy they found in Egypt last year and when they examined it they found that it was a girl about six years old...and she was still breastfed.

I say it's a matter of personal preference, I don't think it's abuse...although it is a little creepy.

I tend to mind my own business over things like this...it's not worth the fight or the attention.

I would rather just look away.

HAHAHA!!!

Edit: BTW - I breastfed both of my kids, granted not that long, but I can tell you that there's no physical "pleasure" out of doing it. It's an emotionally bonding experience...but don't let anyone ever tell you that there's an erotic physical sensation from doing it. It's just not true.

Answer 3

As a very strong supporter of extended breastfeeding; I honestly believe that this woman should have the decency to wait and breastfeed her 7 and 5 year old children in the privacy of their home. This way, no one won't know that this mother is still breastfeeding her 7 and 5 year old. If these kids wish to breastfeed in public, I believe the mother should firmly tell them both... NO!! they can wait and nurse at home. I don't believe there's anything wrong with breastfeeding an older child... just don't do it in public places where other people can see what the mother is doing!

Answer 4

I am very much pro-breastfeeding. However, I strongly feel that once a child is old enough that he/she will REMEMBER being breastfed it is really time to stop! I only stopped at 7 months because of a diminished milk supply, but I know plenty of people who wean their kids earlier because they start to be old and smart enough to walk over to their mom and pick up her shirt and start to eat. This all done while standing up. This is really not culturally normal. I know a lot of people will say I am wrong to say we should oblige by cultural rules, but the fact is that you live in America. If you don't like it, leave. These kids have to grow up into adolescence and make friends with their neighbors and what a stigma this mom is placing on them! And she is enabling them. I think it is not abuse, but there is obviously some personal reason for which she continues to do this. It is not right. But I think it's good that you don't get into it. It's better to vent here with strangers rather than get involved with her about it.

Answer 5

And yet on the other end of the spectrum, I'd have to say that mothers that intentionally don't breastfeed or guilty of neglect. I personally can't imagine anyone doing this over 3 yrs of age but some mothers have a distinct need for that bonding stuff that you all do. In this case maybe its a little more distinct than what is healthy, but I think the woman needs to be educated, not indicated as a child molestor. I will assume that's what you meant by "getting something out of it". This whole epidemic that society is going thru right now will have severe backlash. You know, this idea that if you don't raise your kid my way its abusive. But I guess it gave you some kind of ego boost to hear all the people back you up on your witch hunt. Now let's think of the implications for the children of having their mother labeled by society as a sexual predator. Well, I guess first things first, which in your case is obviously YOU.

Answer 6

I breastfed my children until they were 2. Personally, 7 & 5 seems way too old but it is none of my business what this woman does. I'm amazed at the people who keep saying you should call social services. For what? Because this woman does something you don't agree with or understand? That is a reason to break apart a family? Where do you draw the line?

We report someone for breastfeeding too long? Do we also report people who raise their kids vegetarian. Or do we report people who choose cloth diapers? I personally have problems with parents who feed their kids junk. But I'm not about to report them for abuse. It is none of my business.

You may not understand this woman. She may be doing something you don't agree with but who the hell are you to judge her?

People are saying she is sick. I think maybe all of those being so judgemental are the sick ones. I don't get it either. I don't understand why she does it. But I'm not about to sit and cast stones. I don't know their situation. Have you ever bothered to ask her what her philosophy is on breastfeeding? Probably not. It is just easier to sit there and judge, isn't it?

Answer 7

In reality, many people do find this disturbing. But, medically, you are supposed to breastfeed your child until they are 7 years old. Weird, huh? Well, many people don't and haven't for hundreds of years, but some people do do it and people view them as weird because it isn't common practice. I don't know why she does it, but just because she does, it doesn't mean that she's "weird", she has just strayed from what society views as "proper", and that is totally okay. As long as she is not harming her kids physically or mentally, then she's not doing anything wrong. If she wishes to let her kids drink her breast milk for that long, that is her business. Personally, I would only breastfeed while the kid is an infant because when they are past the toddler age, then they knwo what's going on and that's a little weird (to me). But, there techinally isn't anything wrong. She's their mother and she's just breastfeeding them longer then any other person. It's not like she beats them or anything. Interesting question, though. I've wonderd if there were any mothers out there who really did breastfeed their kids until they were 7, which is the "proper" age, though I don't know exactly how "proper" it is. Well, if you find it weird, then you find it weird. But, no, it isn't child abuse. Take care.

Answer 8

I fed for 2.5 years and this was long enough for me. Feeds were not just when they wanted it. It was in the morning when they woke and bed time only (unless sick then it was when they wanted it , in private). Not a public display. Everyone has a right to feed for as long as they like but they do not need to advertise it to the world. There is a time and place for everything. there was a report on 60 minutes (Australia) on this and the woman was just the same. I am not one of those people that think breastfeeding mothers need to be hidden away. I fed in public often when they were little but by 18 months it was just at home only. It was my choice to let them wean themselves but not something I wanted to show the world.
When is enough enough???I don't know but I think when the child is old enough to go to school then it is time to stop. But that is my opinion. But if people want to feed longer than the usual 12-18 months then they need to do it with respect for others in mind and not to let there children use them like a milk bar. If my son watched his friend go "watch this" and run and breastfeed of his mother my child would not be going back. TIME AND PLACE FOR EVERYTHING. But when it comes down to it it is her choice. Her kids are happy and she is not neglecting them or beating them so leave her be. And as for the "she must be getting something out of it!!!Breastfeeding is nourishing and protecting both the child and yourself from cancers and many other things that we probably still have yet to learn. It is sick people who make it into a sexual thing.

Answer 9

This is very strange, but you have to remember it is not your business... as hard as it is. But you may make it your own problem, tell this woman that it is disturbing, and that you respect her decisions, but you'd rather she'd do it in the privacy of her own home.
Even if you and I know this is very wrong, it is a private issue and we can't tamper with it. But what you could do is start a neighboorhood "gossip" about it, but not in a mean way. If the word gets around, she might notice and quit. She would have no reason to blame you because you did not critisize her, her family, or her religion in any way. Or you can write a letter to the newspaper, (signing anonymous of course) complaining about your neighbors (don't mention names) she might happen to read it. This is a very odd matter, and the only thing you can really do is to let it be. But this woman should be more responsible, this is an awful situation for her, her kids, and everyone around them.

Answer 10

You are right it is very gross! I have 3 kids and I breast feed them all, however it stopped when they were 10 months old. I can't imagine my son(who is 5) coming up to me and lifting up me shirt to get a drink! That is just sick!!! I think that this is one of those things that really needs to be looked into!!

Is the other child a girl/boy? And how does the other child act about this?