What should i do with my parents?
i just graduated from college , got a job and want to live on my own, but my parents want me to stay home for another year or two , save all my salary so they can buy a house (cause we are renting now)....they refuse to understand that i am 22 already and want to move out, they say i am only thinking about myself and do whats in my own interest........i feel that if i stay with them for another year or two our relationship will be destroyed.....i already hate them for not letting me be on my own......help......i dont know what to do
2007-01-20 11:30:49 · 43 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Rent an apartment, pack your things, and move out. You are under NO obligation whatsoever to help them in buying a house. In fact, they are the ones that are being selfish; of course you should save some money, but only so you can buy YOUR own house, where you can start your own family.
2007-01-20 11:43:51 · answer #1 · answered by OC 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are right. You are 22 years old now, and you deserve the right to explore and move out.
If you're parents are having a hardship by you moving out, that is something you will have to think about as to whether or not you should stay home.
If you do decide to stay home, you could tell your parents that it will only be for one year, and that you can not stay longer than that. Make the most of it, while you are there by saving as much money as you can.
Also, if you stay at home with them, don't spend that whole year hating them and being miserable. Just try to remain civil, and keep telling yourself it's only one year. Keep yourself busy with work, friends, etc. The year would go by quicker than you think.
I'm not telling you that you should stay at home, but I am saying that if you do, you can make it on your terms (one year only).
If you decide to move out, maybe there is some other way you can help them without living with them. I'm not sure.
Let them know that you are not selfish. You just want to be the independent person that they raised you to be, and you want to take on your own responsibilities.
Whatever you decide to do, I hope all works out well for you, and congratulations on your graduation.
2007-01-20 11:48:55 · answer #2 · answered by Seldom Seen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you really hate your parents. It sounds as if your relationship with them is already destroyed.
I don't know the circumstances, but I'm sure they are terrible parents..
Did they help you through college? Did they give you free room and board during college? If so, maybe you owe them something. One or two years more would be okay. If not, just move out if you want to.
But don't stay with them too long. You do need to get out on your own.
2007-01-20 12:31:55 · answer #3 · answered by The First Dragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think 2 years will go really fast.Stay for the two years. Set a date that you will move no matter what and stick to it. Make it clear up front that if you stay, it will be as if you are on equal footing, meaning they will not have a say in when you come and go, etc. because you are staying to help them out. You can also take advantage of having time to save money for all of the things that you will need in your own place.
2007-01-20 11:38:56 · answer #4 · answered by Yahoogirl 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Who paid for your schooling? If it was them, then the least you can do is stay another year or two, since the money they spent on you could have helped them get into their own house already.
Even if they didn't pay for your schooling they paid for other things in your life. You can at least give them a little something back to make their lives more secure. It doesn't surprise me that so many people here are selfish ingrates. This is a good demonstration of what people mean by the self-serving nature of youth.
2007-01-20 11:34:38 · answer #5 · answered by marklemoore 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Move out!!!!!
I had the same kind of experience except your parents are really selfish expecting you to buy them a house. Isn't it enough that you will be stuck caring for them when they are old? You didn't choose this life they chose it for you.
I remember my first apartment. I didn't even have furniture but I laid down in the middle of the living room and felt as free as I ever had.
Live on your own for a year or two then get a couple roommates and some bunk beds and live dorm style to save money for your own house.
2007-01-20 11:35:43 · answer #6 · answered by - 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
thats a though decision, you know though family always comes first, help them out, you might be able to get your own place in the basement or somewhere else in the house. Buying a house is a great investment and being on your own is not always easy. Insted of one payment if you leave the family will have to make 2 payments. whats another year anyway. Family comes first, just think about it if you ever need help in the future you will always have your parents. jUST SET THE GROUND RULES.
2007-01-20 11:35:39 · answer #7 · answered by Ankit 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds as if the selfish ones here are your parents. If both of them are working they should be able to save enough money on their own to buy a house without relying on their child to make it easier for them. You are at an age where you should be going out into the world and making your own way. Without getting into a fight and being overly emotional, just tell them that you love them but are determined to get your own place and will be doing so shortly. They can like it or not. You are the one in control of your own destiny. Don't let needless feelings of guilt or misplaced obligations cloud your judgment. If you want to move out, move out.
Good luck
2007-01-20 12:47:43 · answer #8 · answered by Slimsmom 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You are a smart, responsible adult who is capable of living on her own. I think you are feeling resentful that they are being selfish and putting you in this situation.
Regardless of what your parents want, it is up to you to do what is best for you. Yes, they are your parents and they raised you and took care of you but you are not responsible for their financial future or their happiness nor are you obligated to turn your salary over to them so they can have a new house. It is their responsibility to make and manage their own money so they can buy the things they want.
By wanting to preserve your relationship, it sounds as if you are thinking of everyone involved and your parents are the ones who are being selfish by pushing you give them what they want.
P.S. - You are 22 years old and they cannot keep you from moving out on your own. The choice is yours!
Good luck!
2007-01-20 11:44:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Excuse me, but you are an adult now and you need to let them know that in a calm fashion.... Words like "I already hate them for not letting me be on my own" are not helpful.... and for their part (If what you say is the entire truth) "they say I am only thinking about myself and do whats in my own interest" is also not helpful nor is it very loving or mature.
In my opinion, if they have paid for your entire education, here's what you should consider.... and ONLY if you are financially able to FULLY support yourself in your own apartment: Sit down with them and calmly tell them that you are thankful that they have supported you financially and that you are grateful that your education has paid off in that you are now able to live on your own. Tell them that you are willing to pay back the money they invested in your education over a certain period of time. And then move out.
On the other hand, if you have paid for your education on your own or through scholarships, you still have the same leverage and should again calmly explain that to them.
How they handle your decision to move out is their own choice - however at the time you talk to them, you should also assure them that you love them very much and understand their reluctance in letting you go - but you know that this is a decision that you have to make for yourself.
Then stick with it.
2007-01-20 11:41:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋