When I met my boyfriend over 3 years ago I also naturally became friends with his friends. When one of his friends since gradeschool began dating his now fiance, we became fairly good friends and now that they are planning on getting married this summer she has asked me to be in her wedding.
Of course I was honored, however her and the groom did not think ahead well enough because she only has asked four bridesmaids and the groom has 6 groomsmen. She has decided that having more than four attendants on each side is going to "look bad" so she is wanting to cut my boyfriend and another guy out but keep me in. Not only that, but she wants ME to break the news to him. When I asked him how he would feel about this he said he would be very hurt because him and the groom have been friends for so many years
Help! How do I handle this situation without offending her (It's not hard to do!). I don't feel right about being in this wedding and having my boyfriend pushed aside!
2007-01-20 11:10:03 · 21 answers · asked by hawaiian_princess16 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
The Groom is the one that needs to ask. Not you because it is NOT your place. The Groom asked him to be in the wedding so the Groom should ask for him not to be in the wedding.
2007-01-20 11:16:15 · answer #1 · answered by Poppet 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Weddings have ushers too. Just swap some of the groomsmen into ushers and that should solve the 4 vs. 6 wedding party ratio.
As for feelings being hurt... Well it is the bride and grooms responsibility to share the news of any changes to the wedding party.
If it is really going to be hard for you, ask the bride to replace you and then both you and your boyfriend can come as guests to the wedding.
2007-01-20 12:00:57 · answer #2 · answered by Tiffany 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is her responsibility and her mistake. She should tell him herself. Also, let her know that if he's out of the wedding, then you are too. It's always awkward when one part of a couple is in the wedding and the other is not. But, in this situation, where you both are so close to the bride and groom and have been asked to stand up, it would be even more so. Besides, if your boyfriend will be hurt to be left out, it would probably make him uncomfortable to see you take part in the wedding when he cannot.
2007-01-20 14:47:10 · answer #3 · answered by Galoshes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In all honesty, it was a mistake on the part of the bride and groom, not you, they need to be the one to tell him, they also need to do the right thing and make sure they find a place for him in the wedding or the bride needs to find two more friends..to me this is poor planning and organization on the part of the bride and groom that they don't know how many people are on each side, but that's just my opinion.
2007-01-20 12:15:58 · answer #4 · answered by Kitikat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt be doing the telling! They made the mistake ...its their wedding and they need to handle the problem. This is an issue they warn brides and grooms about. They get all excited and dont sit down and think and talk out the plans and they start asking people and now they end up with hurt feelings. Its a shame but its not your place to fix it.
2007-01-20 11:33:15 · answer #5 · answered by Shari 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If I were in that situation I would talk to the groom and let him tell your bf. You could offer a different role, such as usher. Or you could even talk to both bride and groom and say you don't feel comfortable un-asking him. It is their wedding and you would prefer that they do the un-asking. I would feel bad being in the wedding if he wasn't. Maybe if you express your feelings to both they can help come up with a solution. Best of Luck. When you talk to them try to sound sympothetic. Not saying that you wouldn't, but don't let your emotions of sassyness get in the way.
2007-01-20 11:45:07 · answer #6 · answered by Sunshine 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First things first, take a step off of your ivory tower. Christians are taught to love everyone and not judge. The bride having had an abortion is NONE let me repeat...NONE of your business. Stop broadcasting it to others because to me, you sound like an unchristian brat. As for your bf, he clearly does not give a damn what you think. The smart thing to do would be leave him. As for his friends, they aren't the reason he cheated. I am sure its a combination of him sucking and you being an abrasive controlling, holier than thou woman. Most women like that lead men to cheat...just some food for thought. Break up with the cheater. Stop judging those around you. And maybe, just maybe, you wont sound like such a miserable b_ _ _ _ when communicating with others.
2016-05-24 02:13:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok so they got four brides maids and four groomsman. Why dont they take out the groomsman that you are going with instead of your boyfriend. And let your friends know what your boyfriend told you. That he will be broken hearted and if they dont care make things hard for them and say that you dont want to be part of the wedding and then they have to kick someone else out also... Good Luck.
2007-01-20 11:26:15 · answer #8 · answered by needanswers 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
it's not your place to un-ask him to be in the wedding, the groom should do that. or you can be mean and say something along the lines of "if he goes, then I go too" maybe they(bride & groom) will pick another guy to cut then.
2007-01-20 13:15:03 · answer #9 · answered by sknymnie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is totally bad manners to "fire" a bridesmaid or groomsman once they have already been asked. (Unless they do something truly horrible, like burn down your house or murder your pet. Otherwise it's just NOT DONE.)
NOBODY has "even numbers" on each side of their wedding anymore. Is she living in the 1960s?
I don't know how you can bring this up, but she needs SOMEONE to tell her that it is totally bad manners to fire a groomsman for no reason.
2007-01-20 11:43:32 · answer #10 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋