My mother has bipolar, she tried to kill me as a child (leaving me with a tracheostomy for 11 years), now she latches onto much older men and uses them for their money, then after she leaves them claims all sorts of bad untrue things about them (like she did to my father).
All my life everyone I've asked says that "It's not her fault" or "She can't control it, it's the illness". I believe this is not true.
I have seen my mother control her illness in front of someone she wanted to impress or needed to be sane in front of. I know she can control her illness.
Please answer if you've had similar experiences, I'm sick of everyone telling me that these people can't be asked to atone for their actions.
Please don't make a negative comment unless you have a good theory or point with it. Thank you.
2007-01-20 10:41:40 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
I don't think my mother has taken medication for about 8 years (and then inconsistently) - I have very little contact with her and I have seen several counselors about it.
I am going to be married in exactly four weeks from today.
(Hope that answers all questions put to me below.)
2007-01-20 11:11:14 · update #1
Is your Mom on medication for her disorder? Does she take her meds regularly, see the doctor?
She sounds like a manipulator, as well as a bipolar.
2007-01-20 10:50:22 · answer #1 · answered by diannegoodwin@sbcglobal.net 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not entirely their fault. I can see where you would say so and I would to if that had happened to me. Your mom can only hold back the crazy for so long and that is probably when she leaves those men. If you look at everything and how she runs her life she isnt in control. Her illness has disorted a lot of things. I would hope that she is trying to get help and if she isnt that is where I would start to get pissed off. I have bipolar and there have been some things that I have done where I have felt like I was outside my body and I did not know myself. Sometimes the rage is so powerful inside and it hurts so much when its directed to the people I love. I try my best to get all my meds and talk to who I need to because I cant live with myself if I am hurting my loved ones. Believe it or not your mom is kinda in a lonely place, she shouldnt blame the illness. I hope she can get some help at least for your sake. If you havent told her yet let her know how much it hurts you for her being like that.
2007-01-20 10:53:39 · answer #2 · answered by b 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I could have bipolar or borderline character sickness and from what I can acquire moments for your lifestyles can cause the sickness corresponding to abandonment, abuse, consuming problems and so forth. You are such a lot most likely now not loopy, however I thoroughly get why you suppose that method since I do usually. Never believe it's your fault x
2016-09-08 01:22:54 · answer #3 · answered by cosco 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your anger, hurt and resentment is justified but it hurts you. These feelings can eat you alive. This I know. If possible let it go and get counseling if you can. Getting counseling does not mean you're crasy. Counseling is another word for teaching so counseling teaches you how to deal with your own feelings. Read all you can on bipolar so you'll have a better understanding and if possible try to forgive your Mother for yourself. I'm not bipolar and not an expert on the illness but I do know it affects people differently. It can have extreme highs and lows. Let me know if you'd like to talk about this more. Here's some sites that might be helpful for you.
http://www.bipolar.com/
http://www.bipolarsupporter.com/registeryahoo/
http://www.psycom.net/depression.central.bipolar.html
No it isn't their fault anymore than it's a persons fault when they have cancer but they are responsible for how they deal with it.
2007-01-20 11:47:54 · answer #4 · answered by Nett 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While I certainly don't think a person with a bipolar disorder can control it, that's not the same thing as a personality disorder. It is quite possible to have both, and that's what it sounds like is going on with your mother. The bipolar is just the excuse being used to cover for the bad behavior. The bipolar part would affect her mood, primarily, with her being either incredibly depressed or incredibly hyper at the opposite ends of the poles. Though that would affect her behavior in some aspects, it would not explain her tendency to use or abuse people. That is a different can of worms. Her underylying personality otherwise could be the result of another disorder, like passive aggressive or dependant, and a separate issue from the bipolar disorder. I don't think it really matters, at any rate. She certainly has destructive habits, and from the sounds of it you would be much better off with limited or no contact with her. I know she is your mother, but sometimes toxic DNA just happens. Even if somebody were to give you all the reasons for her behavior, it still wouldn't change it or make you feel better about it. It would not change the past, nor what will happen in future. I think at this point in your life, you might be better off seeking counseling for yourself, to be able to come to terms with the anger (justifiable in your case) and resentment, and be able to move on to a more healthy future. If that means limiting or eliminating contact with your miserable mother in order to save yourself, then perhaps that would be for the best. Her ability to control herself, or not, and determining the amount of fault that lies at her feet, should not affect your determination to escape the effects on your life. The thing is, you don't control her and you are not answerable for her decisions or actions. You do not have to defend or explain them. Sometimes life presents us with puzzlers we just can't explain or even understand, and in those cases it's best to let it go and move on with our life. That would be my advice to you. Accept that this is the way she is, that you are not going to change it, and probably will not ever truly understand it. Then let it go and move on to a better future with your own life.
2007-01-20 11:02:57 · answer #5 · answered by The mom 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am very sorry for your negative experience.It's possible when your mother's ill ness first came on that she did not seek treatment and you were injured. Bi-polar or manic depressive can be difficult to manage ,it depends on if she has psychotic features,, However there are many meds. that keep people at an even level..Making poor choices has a little to do w/ mental ilness ,. I know several people who live w/ this and do very well,I also know other's who use their illness .I guess if i was in your shoes i'd find out if she is taking her meds.consistently ,and then get a release to talk to her provider (if u want) .Please educate yourself on this illness as it can change. Also find someone for you, you've been thru alot and it's not over yet . Good Luck
2007-01-20 11:07:26 · answer #6 · answered by cinnamon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋