SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (expanded)?

Question

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
FR: MANAGEMENT
RE: SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING

To assure the highest quality level of work, we have enacted a new training policy through our SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.*.*.*.) program. We endevor to give employees more S.*.*.*. than anyone else.

If you feel you do not receive your share of S.*.*.*., please see your manager. You will be placed at the top of the S.*.*.*. list. Our managers are especially skilled at seeing you get all the S.*.*.*. you can handle.

Employees who don't take their S.*.*.*. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.*.*.*.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.*.*.*. seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T. S.*.*.*.). Since our managers took S.*.*.*. before being promoted, they are full of S.*.*.*. already, and don't have to do S.*.*.*. anymore.

If you are full of S.*.*.*., you can opt to train others through our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L. S.*.*.*.). Once full of B.U.L.L. S.*.*.*. you will get the S.*.*.*. jobs, and can apply for promotion to DIRECTOR OF INTENSITY PROGRAMMING (D.I.P. S.*.*.*.).

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.*.*.*.).

Thank you,

BOSS IN GENERAL
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(B.I.G. S.*.*.*.)

Someone sent me a question about the S.*.*.*. training program, having me confused with H.O.T. S.*.*.*.

I am NOT H.O.T. S.*.*.*.

I am the Impossibly Demented, Obsessively Neutral, Terminally Gerbil Infected, Valium Eating Ambivalent member of S.*.*.*.

You may have heard of me. I am:

I. D. O. N. T. G.I.V.E. A. S.*.*.*.

Answer 1

OH MY GOD I LAUGHED THROUGH THE WHOLE THING AND THIS IS GOING TO BE SENT TO EVERYONE I KNOW LOL

Answer 2

haha smooth

Answer 3

ha ha, still good one every time i see it

Answer 4

It made me SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
ROFLMAO