we'd rather them NOT kiss him? They're coming to see him for the first time next week, and will be traveling on a plane. I don't want them kissing him on the mouth after traveling and being around hundreds on people in the middle of flu season. Is that rude??? Also we've asked them to stay in a hotel because we only have a one bedroom apt. and my husband and I and the newborn and 2 cats all live there, and I feel it would be too crowded and messy with them sleeping on the living room floor for 4-5 nights. Then the middle of the night wakings when I like to go into the kitchen and get a drink and pump sometimes. Is this asking too much??? My husband's kinda making me feel bad about asking them to do this because he thinks we only should've been able to ask them to do this when he was FIRST brought home from the hospital, but not now??? Any advice?
2007-01-20 09:20:25 · 12 answers · asked by Melissa t 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Well, hopefully they will have enough sense to wash up before touching the baby. But the kid will probably be fine. It's your first kid, right? You're nervous. That's understandable. But remember that they raised their son, obviously to your liking, and he survived, so they will know how to handle the baby.
2007-01-20 09:28:14 · answer #1 · answered by FaerieWhings 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just a month ago we had our baby too. and not only our doctor but all the staff told us that everyone who hold the baby must wash his hands before, they give us some examples why.. one is that the inmune system of the baby is still adapting to this new enviroment and even do is breastfeeding there are a new breed of germs everywhere, remenber also that the baby hasnot been vaccinated against it yet. so i have two kids and i know you're going to be seen as rude, but that's the way it is , you don't want to spend nights at the hospital every time the baby get sick, just because uncle joe had the flu and came visit to see the newborn. also try not to go to teathers or movies for a while until the baby get stronger. for some people this seem too much but for me is worthed cause i know what is to be in a hospital with a small baby.
2007-01-20 17:31:55 · answer #2 · answered by edwinjoel22 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was raised in a culture where everyone kisses on the lips. The only one I still let kiss me is my 102 year old grandma. Cajuns greet with lots of kisses. Since I have had my two kids in the past three years, I have not kissed them on the lips, but I have hired a nanny that does. I have watched her get all of their colds. Sometimes, they have caught her colds.
I definitely don't like it when adults kiss infants on the lips. They are just getting their immune systems going and can't fight germs that adults can.
About the in-laws, they should not have a problem sleeping at a hotel. If you live in a one-bedroom apartment, how could they be comfortable on the floor or a sofa. You don't have that much room to move around yourself. Stick to your guns.
2007-01-20 17:30:56 · answer #3 · answered by stocks4allseasons 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It isn't rude - I am completely against mouth kissing infants - I think mouths should be reserved for lovers. It isn't sanitary anyway... Thankfully no one has tried to do that to my son (I was worried about some relatives myself, but I think it helps that they have never seen me do it, so they don't necessarily assume it is ok for them like they might if they saw my husband or I do it). I planned on just saying that I felt safer if people limited their kissing to his cheeks and forehead as opposed to his mouth - I don't find it to be sanitary. So no, not rude - it is your baby.
The grandparents should understand that having a new baby is a lot of work. Suggest that they might be more comfortable in a hotel since you don't have a bed to offer them, and the pets are all over the place (exaggerate if needed, ha ha). Most people are very understanding about all of the work needed for a new baby, and that you and your hubby will need some alone time. Maybe also remind them that you are breastfeeding/pumping and are most comfortable doing that in the living room and that the exposure to the grandfather would be uncomfortable/awkward for both you and him...You are well within your rights to ask for what you need where your baby is concerned. Don't feel bad!!!
Good luck!
2007-01-20 17:28:52 · answer #4 · answered by JadeAMurray 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Be honest with your in-laws. They were parents once too. Even if they think your being silly they should respect that your just being a new mom. With time and experience you'll be less protective. Plus, a one bedroom apt., I'd want to stay in a hotel. Unless you give up your room.
p.s
I have 5 children ranging in age from 1 year to 12 years and I still don't even let my family kiss them on the lips. It's gross.
2007-01-23 11:42:10 · answer #5 · answered by adondeesta1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Frankly, I can't imagine anyone coming to visit a couple with a new baby and living in a one bedroom apartment, and actually expect to stay with them. I agree with you 100%. Your baby is still, most likely, not yet on a regular schedule, and is up at all hours. This WOULD be disruptive in the extreme to your in-law's sleep. Stick to your guns- your husband's concerns should be for you and your baby. As far as the kissing on the lips thing- I wouldn't recommend it- your baby is only a month old and very susceptible to colds and upper respiratory infections, and not just from people who have been on an airplane, but you and your husband as well. In spite of everything, try to relax and enjoy showing off your beautiful new baby boy. :)
2007-01-20 17:40:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If they can afford to stay in a hotel I would ask them nicely,be sure to explain to them the reasons so they dont think youjust do not want them there,as far as kissing your baby i still go through the same thing,I dont even like people touching my daughter and she is 9 months old.There is way too many sicknesses around during the winter and you just do not want to take a chance.It is hard not to kiss a cute newborn so you have your work cut out for you.Ask them nicely if they could just wash their hands as soon as they come in or better yet what i do is keep the waterless hand disifectant bottle at the door and whomever comes through the door is to use it.Just tell them your concerns and they should understand.Good luck to you and congratulations!!
2007-01-20 17:28:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
This is why I am against mouth kissing children:
Herpes simplex virus type 1 (HSV-1) is usually associated with infections of the lips, mouth, and face. It is the most common herpes simplex virus and is usually acquired in childhood. HSV-1 often causes lesions inside the mouth such as cold sores (fever blisters) and is transmitted by contact with infected saliva. By adulthood, up to 90% of individuals will have antibodies to HSV-1
As for them staying in a hotel, I agree with you on that too. If their staying in your house will interfer with your caring for the baby then they should stay in a hotel. They probably want their own privacy too anyway. Their feelings should not come before the needs of your child and 1 month is still really early for them to visit. If your husband insists on their coming to stay at your house then maybe he will agree that he won't be bothered when you have to use the pump in your room at night and then he can carry the expressed milk to the fridge for you while they are there.
I hate for people to stay in my house because you have to be so modest and it makes me uncomfortable. I completely understand how you feel. I am about 10 wks myself and am very concerned about family coming to visit from out of state. I know it sounds selfish but I just don't even really want them here for about the first 6 months. Besides, what are they going to do with a newborn anyway. I am just going to put a web cam on the crib so they can look in whenever they want and try to delay their visits.
2007-01-20 18:22:59 · answer #8 · answered by Not Laughing w/ U 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No it is not too much to ask them not to kiss him on the mouth. I would just make sure they shower and wash up before touching him too much. But you cannot expect them to have more germs than a cat and you have two in the house. They are major Germ carriers. I would however not ask them to stay at the hotel unless you only advise it for their comfort. If they are willing to sleep on the floor to spend a few days with their new grandson I would let them.
2007-01-20 18:30:02 · answer #9 · answered by May_May 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't see what's wrong with them staying at the hotel, if they can afford it. I did the same. You need your privacy when you've got a baby. Forget the emotions, your sanity is more important right now. Most people don't kiss babies on the mouth. What makes you think they will kiss the baby on the mouth? Quite frankly, if they're going to hold him and cuddle him, I think a kiss on the forehead wouldn't harm him.
2007-01-20 17:30:17 · answer #10 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋