I am Really depressed.?

Question

We both like her and he asked her out even though he knew that i liked her. I have been really depressed, my grades arent what they use to be, i havent been as social as i once was, I am indecisive wether i should tell this girl how i feel, and i am also undecided wether is should still be friends with my friend who asked the girl i liked out. Basically in the past 2 weeks my life has been going down hill. How should i doeal with this depression? Should i tell the girl i like how i feel? Should i be friends with the guy who is going out with her?

Answer 1

He knew that you liked her - but how long had you liked her without acting on it? Had you specifically talked about this with him? Had he agreed that he'd never, ever ask her out?

I ask this because I've known of people having crushes for YEARS without ever making a move, and in that situation I can't see not expressing interest in crush interest. I'd talk to my crushing friend first to let him know I was going to make a move - but then, I'm 40, and have a little more social experience than y'all have. You can't hold your friend to the same standards.

So he was inconsiderate, at the very least. If that's all that it is, give yourself a chance to cool down before you talk to him. Personally, I'd make him come to me to apologize, but I'm very prickly about such things. A lot depends on how close y'all were.

If your crush is pretty recent and he knew that you were working up to ask this girl out, and never told you he was interested too, he's dishonorable, and I can't see why you'd consider him a friend at all. Just be glad he's revealed his true tendencies now, in that case.

As far as the girl goes - she's going to go out on a date with your friend. Is she "going with" him in a steady sense? If yes, then back off. If no, then ask her out. The lady should have freedom of choice.

But do it soon, with NO reference to the other guy in any way, and make sure that you stand out from whatever he did/will be doing with her. Be a gentleman, have you plans ready in advance, etc. Try to find something she would love to do (and I mean DO, not just "hang out" or the boring "normal" stuff, like go see a movie or whatever).

If she says yes, great! Spend some time with her and take the chance to see if the two of you might have things in common.

If she says no, drop it. Don't get all emo, just stay gentlemanly anyway. Hopefully she'll be ladylike about it. If she isn't, she doesn't deserve your affections.

DON'T make a declaration of your feelings, though! That isn't going to work out well. It would needlessly expose you to further possible hurt. IF you have the opportunity to spend more time with the girl, you'll gradually find out if she feels the same way, and your feelings will grow or wane. If the feelings are mutual, then share them.

As for your depression, it really sucks to have your friend do something ugly and to "lose" the object of your desire. The truth is, though, that you didn't "have" the girl - you just wanted her. The level of depression you're describing is really disturbing, which makes me think that you were probably somewhat depressed before this happened - and that would explain part of why you would get so attached to the idea of the girl before you've actually gone out with her in real life. (Well, that and your age, because your body and brain are wired to do that to you - I'm old, but I can remember how that felt all too well. Wouldn't want to do it again!)

You need to get a handle on your feelings, and I'm not fool enough to say "shake it off" or something like that. I know that they're real, and I can respect that. There are ways to heal depression naturally, and there are ways to help you deal with it medically. Which way to go really depends on your personal determination and self-discipline, and how much you're willing to involve your parents. Well - that and whether or not your parents/guardians will take depression seriously, and have health care available. My own would have told me to get my sh*t together ;-)

Since you do mention an issue with your grades, try this: go talk to a school counselor. I know they don't usually have such good reputations, but give it a try. My high school counselor, Mr. Atkinson, looked silly but was really quite cool. I spent quite a few periods in his office, avoiding boring classes :-)

Sometimes just talking can help a lot. If that isn't enough, the counselor should have a list of resources and be able to help you get access to them, including talking to your parents if necessary. He or she can't make your parents agree to getting mental (or any other kind of) health care for you, but they're usually pretty persuasive. And honestly - your parents have likely noticed that SOMETHING is up, and are worried about you.

Answer 2

Right now, you're angry. I would suggest - not ditching - but leaving him quite alone for a while. Seeing him will probably only make you worse off.

Secondly, I say you should tell this girl how you feel. Repressed emotions WILL find a way out somehow. If you're thinking about the idea then it's obvious that you WANT to tell her, but you feel there'll be some conflict. It couldn't hurt to tell her, but I'd be very tactful.
1) Your friend has just asked her out. He's not going to be over the moon if you confess your undying love to her NOW.
2) You have to make sure that you don't make her feel guilty. If she wants to go out with him, then you saying that you would hate her if she dated him will put her inbetween a rock and a hard place.
3) Tell her that you simply wanted to tell her and that you don't expect her to take action on things. You'd like her to, but you don't expect anything.

As for the depression, I can't offer a lot of help. My friend had a depression website - I'll see if I can find it.

Edit: sorry, I couldn't find the website. You could google other websites for "dealing with depression" if you want.
When feeling down in the dumps, do not let your health also drop to that level. Self-harm is not what I'm talking about here, but quite obviously that's a very bad way to take things.
Eat healthily, exercisely regularly. Walks give you time to think about things, and it's also a form of exercise. If you get fat and unhealthy you will feel lethargic and even more disappointed in yourself.

I hope God gives you the strength to pull out of your depression. Good luck!!
MaybeLater_x

Answer 3

Ohh the old puppy love syndrome. We have all been through this hell at sometime in our lives and it is certainly the pits!

I would say, ASK HER OUT, she has no ring on her finger and is not married to the other guy. Declare your interest, she may have wanted you to ask her all the time and just have gone out with the other guy in the meantime!
Now if she says no, its also not the end of the world as you know it there are many people that we will date romance and even declare undying love to in our lifetime. So dont put all your fish in the same basket, spread your self around and live the good life before bogging down in a state of depression over one girl, no matter how gorgeous she may look to you now.

Answer 4

I recall myself a creator (no less than, I write) and I'm no longer depressed. But frustration or even disappointment is some thing that comes from writing, due to the fact, as any person else mentioned earlier than me, you are no longer simply feeling your possess usaand downs, however your characters as good. I'm an overly emotional character, I will admit, and I get labored up over stuff that perhaps I can not. Does how writing goes for me end result my temper? I believe so. Writing is, for folks who're passionate approximately it, a variety of unlock in their innermost self, and whilst all of the sudden some thing occurs and that unlock will get up on maintain, it will get all bottled up. I bet that is why I name Writer's Block a sickness. You're being slowly tormented to demise by means of the strategies that you just are not able to write. Haha, so yeah. Are all writers emotional folks? I believe so. Are all of them depressed? I'm going to ought to disagree with that one, despite the fact that they without doubt all will also be depressed at one of a kind occasions.

Answer 5

It may be a little depression but I think you're feeling more betrayed than anything else. Your friend knew how you felt but he still asked her out. Tell her how you feel and then take the whole thing as a lesson. There will be another girl for you, take heart. Think about make you the best you possible. Study, succeed and move on. Good luck

Answer 6

Well U Should Definetly Tell Her How u Feel Cause Maybe Shes only Going out With This Guy To Make u Jealous thats proabably The best Thing To do.Good Luck And E-mail me Any Time![e-mail]

Answer 7

If you both liked her at the same time, you can't be mad at him for asking her out first. Were you depressed before any of this happened? If not, this will pass. Try to be involved with some fun activities, don't dwell on your pain, if you allow yourself to think about her and your friend it will drive you crazy!! I am not saying it doesn't hurt and that your pain isn't legitimate, but you can decide to be happy. Force yourself to go do something, a sport, a hobby, anything!! At first it may not be fun, but it will help. You will get through this- DON'T GIVE UP.

Answer 8

well first you must ask yourself how important is my friend and how important is this girl? then you should consider which you would rather have in your future, and then consider if either one really cares about what you think because obviously this so called friend chose to ask this girl out knowing that you liked her and knowing that it would in fact hurt you. Think to yourself in a year or so will this situation seem as important? but the biggest mistake you can make is to ask yourself these questions with a clouded mind. Clear your mind and consider your answers free from the emotions that you are currently feeling...answer yourself truthfully...disect your depression until you hit the truth about it and if you cant find it then you arent really depressed...hope i helped :)

Answer 9

By all means let her know. What have you got to lose?

If she says "sorry, I'm involved" then move on! The world is full of cute smart nice females. Stay active! Join a club, take up a sport, learn to play an instrument, join a gym. You will meet people, believe me. Stay positive. If you ACT like you are cheerful, you will soon FEEL cheerfull! Don't believe me? Then try it!

Answer 10

Never tell anyone what you want, unless you don't want it. I would say your best bet is to make the next move. Tell the girl that you are sorry. You had know idea that your friend would try to hit or her after you told him that you had feeling for her. Hopefully she will see what a real snob your friend was and neither one of you needs a friend like that.