My cousin is one of my bridesmaids. I have already had to ask one bridesmaid to leave the wedding because the two of them were so nasty (i.e. making the comment in front of everyone in the bridal store that if I was going to insist on having my wedding outside that they shouldn't have to dress up and should be allowed to wear flip flops) that I left every wedding discussion in tears. I can't kick my cousin out of the wedding and whenever I try to talk to her about it she shifts the blame to me. Things are so bad that I am considering eloping to reduce the stress. How do I get her to stop ruining my wedding?
2007-01-20 08:45:45 · 22 answers · asked by fairyprincess1381 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
chalk it up to jealousy. she is upset that you are the one getting married and that this is your day. has she been like this all her life?
and who says you can't ask her to leave the wedding party. it is your day, ask her " if you are not happy being in MY wedding than please let me know and we can make alternate arrangements." that might just break the ice. i'm sure that you have someone else that can take her place and be happy for you.
Congratulations and good luck-Soul
2007-01-20 08:57:37 · answer #1 · answered by Soul 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just elope. My husband and I were so, so stressed about the whole thing, we just called our parents and grandmas and told them we were doing it in 2 weeks.
A coworker mentioned that a city park had a great gazebo on the water, we booked the minister from a wedding chapel 3 days beforehand, I bought my bouquet at Meijer at like midnight the night before (kind of overlooked that detail- but it ended up being simple and beautiful!), our families took the photos and we stopped on the way and bought a cake from Cold Stone Creamery. I think we spent less than $500, and I would not change a thing! My only regret is the months of stress I went through before eloping!
It was an incredibly stressful 2 weeks, but not much more stressful than the previous 2 months of planning (and a lot shorter!), and the day was about us- not pleasing anyone else, just a simple confirmation of our commitment to one another and our families.
If you really, really want to have a wedding instead, then you have two choices- thicken your skin (because no matter how perfect you think something is, other people will disagree), or be stressed out and hurt. Honestly, I would guess you have her in the wedding because Mom (or Dad) said you have to, and she agreed because Mom (or Dad) said she had to- have you talked to her to see if she wants out?
The other part to remember is that the wedding is just a party, and it's only really important to you, possibly your mom (who may just want you happy and not care about the trappings, like both my mom and MIL) and your husband to be (who probably falls in the Mom category- he wants the ends, and will take whatever means you choose).
Good luck, and remember why you're doing all of this!
2007-01-20 09:48:49 · answer #2 · answered by CoconTom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you feel you can't kick your cousin out of your wedding - it's your day. If she is intent on making this day miserable for you in the planning stages, how do you think she is going to act the day of the wedding? I understand that you may be reluctant - probably due to how the rest of the family will react - but if she is not going to "behave" you won't want her even at the wedding, let alone at the front of the ceremony site. Honestly, you need to seriously reconsider her being a part of your bridal party because from the sounds of it, she will make this day absolutely impossible and there is no reason in the world why you should change the plans you have for your day because of her bad attitude.
2007-01-20 10:50:46 · answer #3 · answered by Patricia D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I am engaged too, and have a friend that was supposed to be in it... but because of all her negativeness and everything she's OUT... anyway... I had to make a decision... and you should too, this is YOUR day... some people are bitter and just dont understand how stressful plannign a wedding is... until its their own. Your bridal party should be helpful to you and not add stress to your day... You are always going to look back to your wedding, do you want the memories of your cousin'd nastiness as a part of it??? If not, you should let her go!! Best of luck... and enjoy your wedding!
2007-01-20 09:52:44 · answer #4 · answered by RoyalTee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell her that when it is her wedding, then she can make all the decisions. If she doesn't like that then she can leave and if she won't leave axe her yourself.
Alternatively you can start deliberately making decisions that you know she won't like and maybe she'll get frustrated enough to not go.
Another thought is to videotape or tape record each of these comments so that you can play it back in front of everyone at the wedding. That ought to show her how rude she was.
2007-01-20 09:00:13 · answer #5 · answered by Alabar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they are probably just jealous. if you for some reason can't kick her out of the wedding, stop talking to her and tell her you'll see her at the wedding. Don't have her help with anything because she is only making it harder. Just have her show up when you need her..(rehearsal dinner and wedding) If shes not around you won't be stressed as much.
2007-01-20 09:19:04 · answer #6 · answered by redsox fan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ignore her. I had my maid of honor who was totally rude and self centered. I'm not a generally a ME type person but this was a very special time for me and she did her best to make it a HER situation. I just basically ignored her and after the honeymoon we parted ways. Though I rent from her mom and she lives down stairs from me. Just ignore the witch. She's obviously jealous that you are having this moment. Believe me that everyone else in the wedding knows that she is the one being catty about the whole thing.
2007-01-20 09:01:44 · answer #7 · answered by FaerieWhings 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you do not let anyone have that much power over you and the decisions you make!! You should excuse her form the wedding!!(This is when a wedding planner comes in handy- she could give her the axe for you) If you can't tell her have your mother or aunt to let her know that you would like her to be excuse from the wedding!! This is your day and don't give anyone the power to ruin it for you!!! Congratulations!!!!!
2007-01-20 08:53:57 · answer #8 · answered by sexychocolatecity21 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the marriage is approximately you and your quickly-to-be husband, no longer approximately you and your husband and your chum. Have the marriage with out her. It sucks, yet you won't be able to schedule your wedding ceremony around actually everyone else or you're able to on no account get married. And for the record, there's a great difference between being married and not being married for those people who opted to no longer shack up with our important others earlier, and that i'm helpful there's a difference till now and after the marriage even for people who had already been living jointly. previous poster is erroneous: marriage is a great deal, and you already comprehend it or you does no longer be stressing out approximately it :)
2016-11-25 22:39:53 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you only get married once (well, maybe). dont let your cousin ruin your wedding day, it's an important day for every girl. kick her out!! why do you have her as a brides maid? it's up to the bride to pick the bridesmaids-thats you. i have a feelin she is jealous of you, talk to her and if she doesnt listen, dont let her be your bridesmaid.
good luck with your wedding! : )
2007-01-20 09:10:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋