Why are some folks so bitter about how others live their lives?

Question

This is a broad question, but so many people just get bothered by how other people live their lives and I just wonder, why? If it bothers you don't worry about, don't associate yourself with those people, or just be friendly and realize that not everybody has to fit to your own expectations because we're all individuals.

for example somebody might give me **** about drinking or smoking pot. I don't do it excessively, I just like to have a good time. I do other things. I do sports, i eat healthy and maintain good relationships, I have really good grades - i have my **** together and am doing a lot better than people that don't drink at all. So why should people get all holier than thou on me for this? And you could extend this to anybody - people that have a lot of sex, gays, religion, the people you hang out with, etc.

Answer 1

Sometimes they're just being worried about you but most of the time I believe people fear anything that's different... it's a form of homophobia, not just for other races but anyone who's different in the way they live.
Only when it leads to other people's rights being infringed I agree with the busybodies; like driving drunk and such, and smoking in public buildings.

Answer 2

I don't think it is so much bitterness as it is experience or concern. I have a family member who is making some really stupid decisions for herself right now. I am very concerned about her health, her child, and her lack of personal responsibility. SOME of this concern comes from the fact that I am older than she is and I have experienced the consequences that come from making bad decisions. I don't want to see her become bitter later in life because no one cared enough to let her know that she was making life changing decisions. I cannot disassociate myself from her because she is family.
Not knowing you I trust that you are not making decisions about your life right now which could be detrimental to your future. I am not bitter about the way you live your life. I would be, however, if your actions affected someone else. For example, if you drove after drinking and had a car crash which maimed or killed someone. Then I would have a problem with your actions. As long as you are not affecting the lives of other people with your actions, and you are being somewhat responsible in your "fun," I'm not gonna bother you about it. I may not like it, I may not agree with you, and I may not believe what you are doing is right, but it's your life. But if you were a loved one of mine, I would have to let you know where I stand on your actions, if for no other reason than to let you know I love you and I care what happens to you.

Answer 3

Hm... interesting question.

People who care about you will want to help you make good choices because they don't want to see you suffer. For example, if you were a member of my family or a close friend, I would certainly try to get you to stop smoking pot and drinking, because those behaviors, which are already harmful, can turn into even harder drug abuse and really take your life off the deep end. People who care about you want you to be happy and will try to help you avoid bad choices. I think you should realize that letting someone do anything they wish is not a sign of caring about that person, it actually demonstrates that you DON'T care. Caring enough to try to help someone avoid doing something dangerous is real love.

As far as choosing the people we hang out with, I am not always strong and I need people who I can lean on for support. If the people I choose for my closest friends are not people who support me in my values, who can I turn to when I need a little extra boost? Don't get me wrong; I work with and am quite friendly with people who have very different lifestyles from mine, but as far as my closest, most intimate friends, I need people who understand and share my values. For example, I had a friend who had a hard time with her mental health and sometimes drank when she was feeling bad. Not a good behavior, right? Well, she did really well at not drinking for a while, but one night she went out with a friend and ended up drinking off of his beer, which got her right back into drinking again. If he were a real friend to her, he would have known that drinking was an issue for her and would have tried to stop her, but instead he let her do it, and a lot of her life unraveled as a result of that one drink. I want to be able to lean on people I can trust to help me make good choices and who won't permit me or tempt me to do things that I shouldn't when I am weak.

I get the impression that you are a teenager, and sometimes when you're a teen it seems like the world is out to get you and prevent you from having a good time. But in most cases, our parents and other people who disapprove of our choices are actually trying to save us a lot of heartache and grief. Please listen to the people who care enough about you to want to help you change your life for the better. Your so-called friends who try to get you to do bad things won't be there for you in a pinch, but your family will always be there.

I personally think that it's so sad that you drink and smoke pot that much. If you actually have such good grades and everything as you say, don't you think you would do that much better if you didn't party and fry your brain that way? I think it's a shame that you are probably repressing so much of your potential. You can choose your actions, but you can't choose the consequences of those actions. So you'd better make sure that you're on the road that leads where you want to go.

Answer 4

A lot of people have the idea that what makes them happy will make everyone else happy as well.

Answer 5

You can take most of these kinds of questions and what it all boils down to is fear. And the fear is that we are inadequate.

Answer 6

Maybe they are not. Maybe they are just projecting their own losses and disappointments..