Mothers, help me to understand what Im feeling?

Question

My marriage is basically over(thank goodness) Im broke and Im a wreck emotionally, I dont want to cry in front of my kids but sometimes I do, How do I find the strength to be a good mom and carry on. Somedays I cant even get out of bed, Im a woman thats been beaten down so far that I dont know who I am anymore, why isnt the well being and love for my children enough, maybe Im just depressed, any ideas?

Answer 1

Sounds like depression. I am sure you know that your children need you to be strong. That is why I would suggest talking to your family doctor about getting some antidepressents to use until you can bounce back. They don't have to be long term. Happy mom=happy kids. Do what you have to do to make yourself happy.

Answer 2

Hello...

Breaking up is hard, espacially when you have kids to share the greif with.

Most people would consider moving on or getting another man - But that doesn't help with the children or the real emotions.

From what you say, you seem glad that you've broken up with him but miserable that you sleep your nights alone.

Here are some suggestions that could help you! :

1) Get a pet, a dog, cat, bird, fish, ect.! Anything that will keep you and the children busy! But don't just get any pet, get a pet that catches your eye and chooses you as a loving companion.

2) Get a thick book that will keep your mind off things - Suggestions could be, a book thats about stories of women who have had worse break ups and encounters with your husbands - It could change your mind about things and make you glad that you just broke up and nothing else happened.

3) Move into another house/apartment - It can even be in the same neighborhood! Being in a house that you shared with your husband can be painful and bring back memories.

4) Talk to someone about it - A close friend, a stranger, a pet, even a therapist! It could even be a stuffed teddy bear or an innanimate object that you should just cuddle against! Pets do well in this kind of relationship.

5) Go on a nice long vacation. Or just a short trip for a week to somewhere you've always wanted to go - Maybe Hawaii, Disney Land, Los Angelous, Europe, Ect.!

5A) And take the kids along with you if it helps!

6) Spend a nice long day at the spa or shopping! It'll get your mind off things to do something you enjoy or something relaxing.

7) Cook..

7A) You'll be so busy worrying what to put, how much to put in, so on so forth - That you won't even think of your Ex.

7B) Cook anything from brownies to turkey, from salad to meatballs!

8) STORE away any painful objects, photo's of him, pictures, books, ect.


You are a good mom! You're handling this situation better then anyone else I know! Your husband isn't gone forever, he's still on earth! You can call every now and then or even email him!

Take my advice -

No matter what time is it.

Go take a nice long soothing bath - With bubbles, little trays of snacks, ect. (If you actually do have a bath!)

Get you and your kids dressed up.

Go out to your favorite resteraunt.

Then go somewhere that you AND your kids will enjoy!

On the way there you can put music on the radio that you and your children will enjoy and play games (riddles, ect.)!

Then after that, go play out in the snow with your kids. Build snowmen, snowballs, ect.

If there is snow...

Good luck!

If you need someone to talk to or anything else feel free to Yahoo me at [e-mail]

Answer 3

YOU ARE A GREAT MOM!!! you have gotten you and you children out of a bad place. Your children are going to grow up and thank you not remember that you cried. The strength to be a good mom is already there and you have proved that, you got out of a bad relationship. Depression can be a really hard thing to rally from, surround yourself withing that make you happy, especially your kids. play games and have as much fun as you can. Make yourself go out side even if its for 15 min. have a shower and put on you makeup, just to watch TV. You are a strong, smart woman who should only see that she has over come what many can not. This is a really scary time and that's OK but if you had the strength to leave you have the strength to carry on.

I really with you luck
Be strong you can do it

Answer 4

i would do things to make yourself happy. maybe a new hairstyle, paint your nails etc. I enjoy shopping but when your broke( which i am also so dont feel bad,) its hard to do. so sometimes i go online and plan vacations to tahiti etc that i am going to take someday when i am not so broke(probably never) and it feels so good imagining your their. I like to talk to my friends. if noone will listen see a psychologist. they have to listen. some suck but if you shop around youll find the right person to spill your guts too. I had three before i found one i liked. crying in front of the kids is ok in my opinion. for me if im crying and my seven year old comes to me and asks why,i almost feel better because she looks so cute and concerned.of course you are depressed you have been through a lot and you are only human to feel as you do. your children are enough because if they werent you wouldnt get out of bed any days. you said only some days you cant. they give you the strength you need to provide for them and keep on going day after day. you are still here arent you. smile. i always said when you are at the very very bottom there is nowhere else you can go but up. it will take time but you will feel better. i promise ive been there

Answer 5

Please don't despair. You do sound depressed, but this too shall pass. You don't seem to be giving yourself enough credit. You are not a victim of your life, you're more like a survivor. As much as you've been through and you're still fighting. Now imagine how hard this situation is for your babies. You need to be strong in front of them, so what if it's just acting. Cry in the shower if you need. You are not a bad mom, don't let your ex take that from you too. email whenever you need adondeesta1@yahoo. I probably understand your situation more then you think with the lack detail in your question.

Answer 6

I think this is really hard and my heart goes out to you. I've been there and I didn't do too well. So can't pass on any good advice. Just to tell you that this will pass and you will get through it. I've got married again to a lovely man, have two beautiful daughters and a new life. You, and the many other women like you, will get through this.
I found music helped me, funnily enough. Start going out, too, if you can. Get some interests. Good luck.

Answer 7

sorry but I dont know what youre going through, im married and love my husband, there are days I cry because my son has autism and its very hard. I do cry infront of my children, I think its healthy they see us cry sometimes so they understand we feel pain also.

IF you cant get out of bed, you need to see your dr or a therapist, good luck

Answer 8

yes u r depress and thats what ur husband wonted u to be with me i am going though a devorce and he is trying to bring me down but i have no kids that r alive but i would say pick ur head up and talk to some people that might help u like churches or ur friends and family do the best to prove to ur husband that u r a good mom

Answer 9

I know it's hard but force yourself to walk every day. During those walks you will get exercise and that will help with your depression, but you will also have time to think about your future. And try to think about your future not your past. Keep telling yourself you have to be strong for the kids and do whats right for them. Each day it will get better. WALK, WALK, WALK!

Answer 10

Sounds like you need some medicine to help you out. I was the same way once and my kids were really affected by it. I talked to my Doctor and she put me on so anti-depressants. Do it, if not for yourself, for your kids.