My father married a woman 17yrs his junior 6 yrs ago. I come from an upper middle class family - We believe in hard work= good living - this woman -although very pretty- was a single mother with two kids on welfare. She literally went from her parents home- to her ex husbands- to my dads home, never having ever worked in her life.(she still does not have a job)
I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt- Even took her and her mother on a long weekend to Charleston- a girls bonding type of thing- It was not fun.
Okay so that is the history- here is my problem-
She is very judgemental and does not like my fiance b/c she thinks his line of work (construction and design) is beneath "our family". My fiance and I recently bought a house 10 min from them and they have yet to come by, despite my invites, we have not been invited there either. I have spoken with my dad about this, but he claims he likes my fiance and there is no problem. What the hell do I do?
2007-01-20 08:17:10 · 17 answers · asked by Sadey 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I would sit down and talk to your dad and stepmom toghether. and tell them how you feel. If they still don't come over your house, don't let it bother you. and who cares what your stepmom thinks of your fiance, your the one who loves him and is getting married to him not her, congratulations on the up coming wedding. you tried your best with your step mom , and thats really all you can do. be happy, enjoy life. and your new home.
2007-01-20 08:24:45 · answer #1 · answered by misty blue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since when is working hard "beneath?" Has she forgotten where she came from? If your Dad had her same mind set when they met, they never would have gotten married.
Would she feel better if you met a guy who was good looking, but never worked and was a single father with two kids on welfare?
Don't wait for an "invite" to go and see your own father. If she doesn't want to come over to your house-call your Dad, and invite him. Or make a lunch date with him and go some place "neutral."
He's your only father, and you are still his daughter no matter who either one of you marry.
Don't let your step mom's goofy attitude keep you from having a relationship with your father. Your step mom and your fiance will work it out. Do not allow yourself to get caught in the middle, being a buffer between your fiance and step mom.
She doesn't have to have a relationship with your fiance, only you do.
2007-01-20 08:52:53 · answer #2 · answered by Divacancerrn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your giving the stepmother too much control of your life! Relax, if everything is fine between you and your father, let well enough alone. Let yourself be happy with your fiance, don't worry so much about everyone else! If she's not grateful for your sincerity, move on, life's to short to waste time over selfish people. Keep in good standing with your father, and just be happy!
2007-01-20 08:25:19 · answer #3 · answered by sue d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to your father, and let the step-mother do her own thing. Don't work too hard at winning her affection. She might see you as a threat to her relationship with your father and want the distance she created. Go forward, not backwards on this one... Good luck.
2007-01-27 14:16:42 · answer #4 · answered by Kelly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suppose you bond instead with other family members. You mom is she is still living, your fiance's family, your siblings if you have any, and of course, your friends. This sounds like a painful situation, but I am afraid you have done all you can do.
2007-01-28 05:02:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
in basic terms be there for her thats all you're able to do... i'm a step mom to a 12 and 14 300 and sixty 5 days previous that take place to stay with us for the previous in basic terms approximately 6 yrs now. i'm particular I even have been called some issues or 2 or maybe accused of no longer loving them while i myself do. of path i will in no way replace their mommy no rely how undesirable she is or grow to be and that i do no longer attempt nor talk undesirable approximately her yet please help your goddaughter experience secure if the lady isn't beating her then please step lower back a touch and provide them time. i comprehend you propose properly i myself do.....
2016-10-07 11:22:19 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is your dad's choice to sleep with her. You do not have to. As long as you and your dad continue to have a good relationship, I would not stress out over her. You have made an admirable effort to get along with her. You have a wonderful future ahead of you. In the end blood is usually thicker than water.
2007-01-20 08:28:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off , Congratulations on your engagement. Now I personally would have to remind this woman that "atleast" HE has a job and can take care of HIS family to be unlike HER who chose to ride the coattails of the system and whoever else she could use.
2007-01-27 09:11:25 · answer #8 · answered by Toni F 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well this is it you are 17 and you only have a year to go you can do it standing on your head for get HEAR she will be out of your life soon.
No for part two tour boy friend you are to young to think about getting married to any one go to school and live life find out who you are and then get marred if he still wont's you he will wait for you and help you through school. That if he loves you as he says, do not have sex once do not have sex with him and see if he will stick around and if he is willing to wait for you then marred you.
See you have your whole life in front of you be smart about it
O.K.
2007-01-26 14:46:36 · answer #9 · answered by the black hand 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell her when she gets her *** out there and does her share of work for a construction crew, you'll listen to her. Until then shut up, if not for your father she would be a welfare case.
2007-01-20 09:15:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋