My friend who is married and is 21 just had a miscarriage yesterday. She text messaged my friend and said she lost the baby. She was 2 months pregnant. I know I shouldn't call her b/c she doesnt want to talk to someone? How can I apolize to her and say I'm sorry for losing her 1st baby. I feel really sad. I thought for now an email should be okay and wait another day or two then call her? What should I do? I don't want to call n upset her more by apologizing.
2007-01-20 08:14:11 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
If you can afford it maybe send her a small thing of flowers...Then she will know you are thinking of her and you won't have to "bother" her.
2007-01-20 08:18:39 · answer #1 · answered by TheOriginalSin♥ 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think your instinct to give your friend space while wanting her to know you care are right on. When I was in your friend's situation, the quick, kind calls of friends were comforting during a sad and confusing time. If she gets upset, don't view that as a bad thing. Losing a baby leaves you not knowing where to put your emotions -- overwhelming sadness at losing what would have been your future as the mother of THAT baby. Yes, life will go on. Hopefully she will have a smooth healthy pregnancy and another baby in the future. But right now, there is shock and grief. I would recommend a call over email -- just begin with, "I don't want to keep you too long" or something like that, but still let her know your thinking of her. Email doesn't reflect tone and real feeling particularly well under such circumstances. Sorry to hear of your friend's loss.
2007-01-20 16:28:42 · answer #2 · answered by zowieshel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just let her alone for a few days. She will need some time to get used to not being pregnant especially if she was embrassing the idea. I don't know if I would like to have an email either. They are not very personal and they don't convey the tone in your voice. What I mean is the don't really show your emotion and she might not take it very warmly.
Call her husband and talk to him. Ask him if she is feeling ok enoigh to talk. Don't keep her very long, tell her you are there for her if she wants to talk and that you love her. She doesn't need to hear.. "everything happens for a reason" and " you will have another chance" she will come to that conclusion in time. She needs time to grieve this pregnancy now.
It is the idea that she was going to have her first baby and now she is not that is consuming her right now and if she could have done something different.
Just let her know you are there! AND BE THERE FOR HER!!!
2007-01-20 16:29:29 · answer #3 · answered by Catherine L 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well All u Can Do Is Wait For Her To Try ASgain But For NOW jUST TELL HER THAT U aRE sO Sorry For her misscarriage Adn Hopes She Gets one next Time And Also pray For Her Alot!
2007-01-20 17:07:12 · answer #4 · answered by soccersweetie0140 C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off - don't e-mail. That's rediculously impersonal.
Secondly - don't apologize. You did nothing - it will demean her loss.
Just let her know you're there for her and that you feel terrible for what she's going through. Bring her flowers. Hug her. She needs you now - not in a couple of days.
2007-01-20 16:23:55 · answer #5 · answered by Gabrielle 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry to read that. i think the best way is to send her something just to let her know how much you love her and support her.
Help her clean her house, cook for her, help her i f her jobs is piling up, etc.
Actions not words are the ones who express better our feelings.
But first call her.
Good Luck
2007-01-20 16:24:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
personally, i hate when people say that they're sorry. It's not your fault this happened. Let her know you're there for her, and you love her and support her. I really like the idea of flowers someone put up. Let her know you're there whenever she needs you and she'll talk when she's ready
2007-01-20 16:23:17 · answer #7 · answered by horsegal92 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would hand deliver her a note or card. an email is very impersonal. Even if you just leave the note at the door, you are showing that you really care.
2007-01-20 16:34:06 · answer #8 · answered by mommy05 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a sympathy card. My friend had a molar pregnancy so when I was watching her daughter with my kids when she was having the dnc done, we made her a get well card with the kids hands prints and it made her day. Im just saying a nice card. sorry for your friend
2007-01-20 16:36:40 · answer #9 · answered by BoTToms UP 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
even though she doesnt wanna talk she still would appreciate the little things u do for her just tell her that ur there for her and she can call you when she needs to talk.
2007-01-20 17:50:15 · answer #10 · answered by SaNiyaS MoMmY 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋