how do i move on??

Question

ok,i recently broke up with my psycho possessive ex boyfriend, we had been together for 3 yrs,but the last yr was jus hell!!he made me stop talking to all of my friends,constantly abused me, and now im left all alone!its jus so hard for me to move on!! i totally regret everythin i did for him!! but now i jus feel so lonely and its so hard to move on... i have no one to actually express my feelings to or talk to what do i do??

Answer 1

I left my ex 3 years ago. The best decision I have ever made in my adult life with him. He was abusive as well. Now, though his mom calls me from long distance, he is phoning his mom wanting to know how I am and all that. His mom told me 3 times that he had tried to commit suicide, because we are not together anymore. I can't be with him anymore anyways. My child is first and foremost, before any man comes in my life.
He blames the whole wide world for his problems, and not take into account that he is responsible for his actions, there are negative consequeces for bad actions. He hasn't grown up. I have moved on, and never looked back. I am myself now. I have my child also. I am happy. I have no regrets. Learn from it, use your power, you are a strong female. You will know what to do, when the time comes. If you want advice, and if you are feeling kind of low. I would seek some counselling, If you are unable to afford counselling, go to the library and read up on self help books, or buy them. Empower yourself, Gain knowledge, learn from your past, move ahead for your future, stive, you are a beautiful person...find yourself again. You will see all will be good for you.

Answer 2

If half the family approves of the move, and it is cheaper for a more improved room, I would say, go for it. Getting more for his money would be an improvement to his life. Now how about the meals? Are they full meals or snacks. Do they get fruit every day. And what about pill dispension. Is someone in charge of that, to eliminate mistakes. Some places have the overseeing of an RN. But also many places can't afford the services. And does the dispenser of the pills, wear rubber gloves for sanitary reasons? There's much to consider before you displace him. Make sure he can handle the transition, so he doesn't get afraid after moving. I have a friend, who died two days after her move. She was treated badly by staff in that wing, and she went into a catatonic state of mind. And didn't recognize her daughter. And then she died the next day. So weigh things carefully.

Answer 3

that was a strong move on ur part -- there are many girls who aren't strong enough to get out of abusive relationships...
try to think of it this way...
if he loved u:
would he abuse u?
would he take ur friends away?
would he make u go throw hell?
listen...i suggest cutting him out of ur life completely...
don't roam places where he goes...and if u do make sure to go with a friend or group of friends
maybe if u r on ur own u should move and get a new house he doesn't know about
destroy any pictures etc that remind u of him
delete his cell phone number and stuff and make sure he is put on block
if u live in a city or something and there is this bagel shop that u both really like and u know he is going to go there, try and find a new bagel shop --
try talking to ur friends and tell them what happened and apologize -- if they can forgive u, they can help u out a lot...explain what he did to u...how he abused u...how he made u stop talking with them and how u didn't want to get them in the middle of the mess u were going through
just make sure u stay away from the jerk
it is hard to move on
u will feel lonely
u will miss THE IDEA of having a boyfriend -- but just wait it out
maybe join an art class or something and make new friends
don't worry -- it is tough now, but with the ex out of the way, ur life will only get better -- at times towards the first few months ur life might seem "on hold" or "worst"...but it will get better!!!
ok
good luck
xao:)

Answer 4

CONGRATULATIONS you've moved on at last. What took you so long.I ask???? Take the time to find your own space now and give it a month or two so you can find it. Why rush it, and don't go back. You sound like a winner who wants a better deal in life, and you've just dealt yourself a great hand. If going back is going to give you more grief why do it? Life is short enough when your happy, whats it like when your sad? Change the places you frequent, like the local bar for example, where you will find the same crap again. Change YOU. Express yourself for who you really are...not who he wants you to be. After all it was because you were the sexy one that attracted him in the first place. Be that person again but with attitude this time. Your to precious to loose to a looser. Get my drift. Good luck.

Answer 5

He left behind a lot of emotional damage. You need to heal. Wounds take time to heal, so give yourself time.
Meanwhile find someone that you can talk things out with. A supportive friend, a church pastor, or a councillor.
I know you say you have no one to talk to, but you also said you had friends before he alienated you from them. I think you are feeling some shame about letting him get away with the way he treated you for so long, & are afraid to contact your old friends.
Don't be so hard on yourself. I can't speak for everybody, but I always feel a strong sense of admiration for those who rise up out of adversity. I think you will find that some of your friends will feel the same way about you.

Some women stay with their men under the same conditions for a lot longer than you did. But you finally stood up & said ENOUGH! Good for you!

So sift through the ashes of whats left of your life, & try to find something that is left that you can build on.
Before you know it, all this stuff that is still hurting you will be far enough in the past that you can leave it behind.

Take Care.

Answer 6

First of all---congratulations for getting him out of your life....and under no circumstances should you seek him out for companionship!
When I dumped a former SO who exactly fit the description you gave of your ex, I had a very close friend who made all the difference. It's times like this when we need our girlfriends, Girlfriend. I recommend that you connect with someone who might be experiencing the same thing that you are....they'll be the most sympathetic and likely to listen to you express your feelings of sadness and abandonment. If you don't have anyone in your life like that, do anything you choose to meet new people; volunteer, join local groups, even find chat friends.
Best of luck to you Hon, and know this...you did the right thing, it will be rough for a while, and what you're going through is very normal!

Answer 7

I totally understand. We all got to go through this when we let go of someone we once loved. Breaking up is never easy to do. But if this person controlled you the way he did and abused you, you did the right thing. The thing is..he is like that not because he loves you, because he wants to control your life and he has no self esteem. Listen, you only been with him for 3 years..and that is as good as its gonna get. As the years went by, his personality probley just got uglier and uglier and more possesive over you. You had to get out of that relationship, because you begin worrying too much about him and not living for yourself. If you would of stayed with him, you would of lost yourself completly and not even know who you are and what you want out of life anymore. Please trust me on this one. These feelings will go away in time. First you will hurt, then you will be angry to think of all the hell you put up with for soo long, and then you will be able to finally put closure and move on. Im sure you know his cycles, and ways, don't fall for it. Stay away, don't call him, don't let him come by and most of all, keep yourself very busy, go for a walk, go shopping, even if you only have 5 bucks in your pocket..buy something for yourself, look at things at stores, clean or redecorate you pad. Listen to music, but no love songs. Your gonna be ok. Nobody deserves to be treated the way you have, this is YOUR existence. Don't let him be in control of YOUR happiness. Don't give away your power, and most of all , do not show any weakness. If you do decide to talk to him, do it when your emotionally stable, not when your still falling apart. Please. Well good luck, and I hope for the best..This is a new year friend..start it off in a good direction.

Answer 8

Break ups are the hardest thing any girl or guy could go through
when my love told me I wasn't allowed to cry that him forcing his friends on to me when I slept for cutting me off of my family and keeping me locked in a room I have been there it's scary to think a lover would want full reins on you when at first it was a simple attraction now moving on is your doing the first step is communication reconnect with your friends throw a party roller blading to tunes that make you move show them you need to reconnect as for the abuse leaving it behind is harder the temptation of wanting someone so bad you would go back to him just to be wanted like that again you can go to friendster
and make connections or you may write me and I'll be your friend

Answer 9

Think of this as a good opportunity to meet new people and get in touch with your old friends again. You sound really depressed so keep in touch with your family and people that love you. Get out of the house, join a recreational sports team like indoor soccer or soft ball. Go to Starbucks or your local coffee shop and read, people always want to talk. Focus on work, or do whatever you need to do to keep busy.
Life will get better and stay away from your ex, he sounds like poison.

Answer 10

You don't need a guy to make you feel good. Call your old friends, i'm sure they'll talk to you again. But remember, whatever you do, donot pick up the phone and call ur exboyfriend. many people don't want to be alone, but i think they get confuse with the word single and loner. Everybody feels lonely when they just broke up with someone, but time will heald ur wounds.