when you get rejected in the clubs and barely get a glance , is that consider racist ?

Question

I live in Esex , uk and iam black ..the thing is that i have read one day that this area in uk considered to be one of the most racsit areas in uk .i never treated bad since i moved here , however when you go down to clubs , you couldn't find any reaction from opposite sex. iam reasonable looking guy but extreamly shy , however these days i felt its not because of that but actually the girl faces you see down the street which not encourage me at all to step up . There is the different culture issue , and the language but i know how to deliver what i say easily and i couldnt expect it to be obstacle in relationship . When i went to the club i overtook my shyness and tried to approach some but the excuse of having boyfriend or even saying no would gets me believe of the racist thing ....Its obvious down the street that you could see just identical white couple and i just came across mixed couple .....Is that sign to keep myself a way and never try with them

Answer 1

Just be yourself and relax
Good luck

Answer 2

Wow, it is hard to say something in this area for fear of hurting your feelings. Hope you will hear me and not think I am a racist. I am by far not a racist. I have two mixed children. I, like God do not see color in people. That is part of the reason why I feel I can answer you fairly. The other reason is because I am a female. First of all, let me be honest with you about something. As hard as it is for us to believe that with all our knowledge in this day and time, we still find small minded people who are very biased, therefore it is with regret that I can say truthfully there probably are some of the ladies who reject you due to color. Others reject you because they do not feel attracted to you. I know this for a fact. However, this should not be a reason to give up on trying to find someone. There will be someone who is not biased who will say yes. God has the woman picked out for you that he wants you to have and you must trust in him. Besides, finding a woman in a club is usually not the best place to find a woman. That much is the same all over the world. Put your trust in God and let him lead you. Sometimes you must get to know a person before they actually find you attractive. If you have a good personality it will show and it will make you more appealing to the opposite sex. Still, I would put my faith in God. He will lead you to that one girl who is the right one for you. I do so wish you the best of luck.

Answer 3

LOL.. First of all, if your going to an area where you heard is racist, why in the hell are you there? Your lucky to didn't get beat down or robbed. Seriously. Do you like any black chicks? Have you tried to approach them? Look, its obvious that you don't belong there, by the way there treating you. But if you are interested in the women down there, keep trying..you'll eventually hook up with someone. But I don't think its gonna be that easy. You know the awnser to this. Just be careful. Or maybe..your comming on too strong and their just not attracted to you. It could be just that. And as a man, men get regected at clubs a lot. Get use to it.

Answer 4

Look pall just because your black and someone doesent respond positivly to you because of whatever reason dont call it a racist issue thats ******* absurd . Mate you need a ******* ***** slap to put the man into you your acting like a scared little boy the reason you get the i have a boyfreind line is because your telegraphing lack of cofidence etc and by just walking up to a woman you look the same as everyone else probably saying the same stuff its nothing to do with race .

Try this and let me know how you go .

You - Hey girls let me ask for your opinion on something me and my freinds were debating before .
You - i can only say a minuit or two my freinds are waiting for me .
you - Are woman becoming players and are more likely to cheat than guys .

I bet you end up in a conversation but its up to you to keep it going , you have to tease the woman and make fun of her in a playfull way as well to spark sexual attraction . Talk about stuff like to do with romance , fashion etc not the usual so do you come here oftern crap .

Dont ask for their name when they show they are interested in you ie , asking for your name , toutching you , keeping the convesation going etc you can show your interest in her then go for rapport and build a connection with her then later get her number .

Answer 5

No, it's not racist. Forgive me but the word "racist" has been so overly used that people doesn't even know what it means any more. If the club was racist, you wouldn't have been allowed into the place. If you want to see racist you need to look into the American past and you only have to go back 40 or 50 years.

Answer 6

I used to live in Essex, its full of the biggest bigots in the country. I don't know if your problem is down to colour or not, but I do know that Essex is a horrible place and you should get out as soon as you can. I'm a white woman who used to wear heavy metal and punk clothes and used to have to deal with a load of prejudice about that, so it wouldn't surprise me if you were having racist issues. I escaped to Manchester, but it isn't really that much better, I recommend going into London as often as possible, people are more open minded.

Answer 7

Racism has nothing to do with it. Girls hate being picked up at bars unless they're skeezy. Obviously you're not going for the skeezers.

Your problem: Not having backup. You need to have a non-romantic girl friend with you. Girls attract other girls. It's a safety thing. They see you with another girl and it's obvious you're not a total shmuck. And guys with female friends are usually more intelligent, not desperate, and all around safer.
I don't know any girl who would drop her gaurd for a guy she doesn't know at a bar. Hell no, not me, EVER.
But make it clear you two are ONLY friends or the girls will avoid you and the possible drama. Bring a guy friend too.

Answer 8

It's because YOU'RE AT A CLUB. People are drunk and hopped up on who knows what else, and thier senses are dulled by loud music and bright lights and smoke. You expecting to meet some winners at a place like that?

God sakes, it's not like it's a church, or a bookstore, or a fitness center you went to. Get a clue.

Answer 9

Even if it is the most racist area in the u.k. don't stop trying. In every community there are biggots and racists. If you let them stop you from trying to meet a nice girl or from doing anything else, you let them win.
This is advice from a pasty white chick whose never had to deal with racism, so take it for what it's worth. I firmly believe in equality in all things, however, and think that if you let racism dictate your life, you cheat yourself.

Answer 10

Even judging a person by their hairstyle, clothes or physical appearance is a kind of racism..or fascism.. This will be illegal in the future too.
They might be judging you because they don't like your face no matter what colour it is...How can you prove it's racism.

But is it OK for them to legally reject you because, for example you're not attractive enough..but if it's because of the colour of your skin then it's racism and illegal.

Answer 11

Relax. I am sure that there is a female out there, that thinks and have went through the same situation. Don't give up trying,just try harder. You will find her. How would you feel,if she gave up looking for you.