She said something about me in a forum and It came back to me.I asked her why she did that and she started a long term verbal abuse calling me among others, layong *****, scum of the earth.Her children don't say hello to me anymore and she convinced everyone else in the family she is all good and I am the laying *****.She humiliated me in public and all I had left to do was to leave the place and it seemed like I was running away.She acts like she is better than me all the time.She puts me down everytime.My husband is on her side. Always has been.Family is family he says...I try to avoid her and my husband's family as much as I can, but he is very family oriented and pushes me to be with them, acting like nothing happened.That affects me terribly, now more than I am 4 month pregnant.They seem to have no problems acting out.I can't do that.I wish I could erase her out of my life but I keep finding her out on the streets, she treats me like dirt but smiles and kisses my hubby .
2007-01-20 07:34:21 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
The fact that she is only his sister-in-law and that he considers her *family*....... and you, as his wife, are not given the same courtesy or standing, sounds a little weird to me.
It sounds like your husband is weak, and a total pushover if he allows her and the family to treat you this way.
Doesn't he realize that you're also *family* and even if it weren't for the new baby coming, making you more *family* than ever...that he should be standing up for YOU and not her ?
If he doesn't understand just how much this is hurting you, and if he doesn't do something about it, is he really worth it in the first place?
I hope this helps...... and congratulations on your pregnancy !
2007-01-20 08:40:05 · answer #1 · answered by Kate 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, either you are leaving a lot of stuff out of your story or your husbands family are all psycho. Including your husband. Something doesn't add up with what you are saying. Maybe being pregnant has made you a little bit emotional and you are making mountains out of mole hills. Or like I said there is something you are not telling us. People just don't come out of no where and be mean. Maybe you need to re-evaluate your marriage. Your husband should be standing by you not standing next to your sister in law.
2007-01-20 07:51:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you've gotten some sturdy suggestion on what to do afterwards, so i will quite ask you to think about what you do previously you shoot someone at your residence. grab your gun, be particular it really is loaded, and a round is chambered. previously you do something else, grab the phone and dial 911. leave the line open. positioned it on speaker, carry the phone with you, or lay it on the floor next to you. talk loudly and many times on your intruder to warn them, and fireplace in uncomplicated words even as they become seen. even as you are able to or received't have a top to maintain your position, once you're the in uncomplicated words one there, i counsel staying put in a defensible position. there is no experience in risking your existence for "stuff". On suitable of that, in case you do ought to shoot someone, you'll face an exceedingly confusing inner emotional warfare which will be with you for a lengthy time period. besides, in case you are able to open a line with 911 you are able to have a recording of the entire transaction, and in case you provide the intruder with loud verbal warnings, they are going to both flee or you are able to have a documented protection case showing that you've been no longer the aggressor. As others have reported, the 357 is the more effective powerful determination for legal protection positions, and pass the body armor except you've a authentic and consistent danger. Jurys do not look kindly on AR-15's or overly prepared sufferers.
2016-10-17 02:30:21 · answer #3 · answered by carrilo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow!
What a horrible position to be in.
If I was you- These are some things I would try
1. The next time she tries to humiliate you in public you need to remind her and him- that you are the woman he chose. If they love him and he loves you- You cant be a bad person. Tell her by acting that inappropriate and low class in public without trying to deal with you in private is unacceptable and you would be happy to discuss your differences in another venue. If you do this in public and she continues her bullying- then others in your family (hopefully your husband included) will see that she is the one that is not so nice.
2. Speak to someone else in the family. Explain to them how it affects you - try to get some of his other family on your side (unfortunately you need this). Ask them why she behaves that way.
3. Tell your husband that you will no longer subject yourself to verbal abuse because it puts added stress on you and the baby. If that means not going to family functions- Dont go! (maybe your husband will get the picture)
4. No matter what you do- You need to sit your hubby down and tell him that he made a vow to you...NOT his sister in law. Stand up for yourself -If you dont no one else will- Do not allow him to get away with "family is family" excuses.
----But if you have a hard time articulating during an argument or confrontation- write down your feelings, either give him a letter, card, or memorize your "speech". Edit what you need to - so it gets to the point - Dont ramble on b/c when you do that- you lose people----
What ever you do...good luck to you.
2007-01-20 07:56:13 · answer #4 · answered by Sadey 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm going to give you a simple answer that will be hard to do.
Call a family meeting or wait until everyone important is together and tell them how you feel. There will be an argument I'm sure, but try your best to remain calm and be the bigger person. Before you do this I suggest you talk to your husband about this(I'm sure you two have argured about it before but esplain that's either you or his sister), if he still doesn't get it leave him. Seperate for awhile and let him think things out.....This problem wont get any better without dramatic events.
2007-01-20 07:40:51 · answer #5 · answered by Simmy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your husband is in the wrong for not only allowing his sister-in-law to treat you the way she does, but for HIM treating you the way he does. Your husband tells you "family is family", well what are you chopped liver? You became his immediate family when he said I do, and everyone else became extended. Now you are about to have a child with him. Are you going to allow your child to observe people abusing you like they do. I hope not, kids learn by example. If I were you I would define "family" once again to your husband (that would be you and the baby) and this is where his priorities should lay. If he can not defend and support you then you and your child will never again attend family functions. This is not a time for you to be passive-agressive. State how you feel and what your intentions are to rectify the situation. Trust me your life will be easier. I went through this with my in-laws in the beginning and my husband had to realize who his family was. But I did it and was much happy surrounding myself with people who I cared about and who cared about me, then when I was around his family they knew that they had to treat me with respect. They didn't have to like me but if they wanted to be apart of my children's lives they needed to behave. Stick to your guns and you and your child will benefit in the end
2007-01-20 07:52:21 · answer #6 · answered by w2kaad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. That's messed up. But when you say "She acts like she is better than me... ", that isn't a problem with her. It is a problem with you. Sounds like your self esteem is low now.
Remind your husband that 'family' starts with husband and wife. He is NOT family oriented or he would not let this happen to you. Even if you are a pain in the ***, his behavior is unacceptable.
Make you husband fix it.
2007-01-20 07:43:06 · answer #7 · answered by g g 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I were in your shoes, I would simply leave the whole family behind. If your own husband will not defend you, you even need a new husband. It is ok that you are pregnant, you will get child support (hopefully). No one should have to live like that.. :)..
2007-01-20 07:49:57 · answer #8 · answered by tootsie38 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your husband should absolutely say something...after all you are family and you are having his child.. but you should also stand up for yourself too. The next time she does it, say something ....don't let people treat you like that She will continue to treat you that way until you let her know that she can't. People only do to you what you let them. I would sit down with your husband and let him know that you refuse to be treated like that and if he won't say something then you will because you deserve respect. If they don't start treating you right just refuse to spend time with them...why should you be subject to that..especially now that you are pregnant. Also, make it known that you will not have your child around that type of negativity when he/she is born...if you feel that way, I mean.
2007-01-20 07:45:23 · answer #9 · answered by hlb9w 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Guess what!
When nobody wants you there is a God that cares for you,when people do unjust things to you,there is a God that practices justice,when every body doesn't see you as worthy,God sees you as a precious jewel,when people turn there back on you,believe me!!!!!!!! he doesn't turn his back on you.
Remember God does see everything,and he knows your pain,he will take care of you,he will always love you,he will always be there,PROMISE!!! never left me and where ever i go,he goes whit me,God bless your life,if they don't believe you i do,if they don't care,i do,if they don't want to be your friend i do,if they don't want to be your ears i do,if they dont want to feel your heart i do.Live for the one soon to come because he will live for you.
2007-01-20 07:59:50 · answer #10 · answered by pillotandrew 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋