My brother and his psycho fiance are getting married. The bride's parents want to split the bill 50/50 and i mean even the invitation's stamp cost.....we feel this is not traditional or proper....any ideas or comments? Would anyone even recomend we pay for our guests and they pay for theirs?(bride: 140 guests; groom: 30 guests) THANKS!!!! =]
2007-01-20 07:01:47 · 9 answers · asked by couturechic16 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I think tradition has gone out the window as far as weddings are concerned. The bride and groom should pay for everything themselves. If they can't, then they need to wait to get married. Parents shouldn't be expected to pay for everything. If they want to pay for part of it, great. If you don't then don't. The bride and groom should be having a wedding that is within their means. The bride's parents shouldn't plan anything that they are not willing to pay for themselves. Same for any involved.
2007-01-20 07:09:18 · answer #1 · answered by xraytls 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats OBSURD that they want to split 50/50 if a huge majority of the guests are theirs. Which means your family would end up paying for THEIR guests. No its not traditional and its not proper at all. I think in a situation like this, to keep from causing TOO much tension between the two families, you should stick to paying for your own guests and thats all. No reason why the bride and groom should have to suffer because the brides family is being unreasonable. Good luck.
2007-01-20 15:11:13 · answer #2 · answered by Christines256 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if the cost is going to be split 50/50, then i would come up with more than 30 guests. both are getting married and the traditional ways are long gone. financial situations play a big factor in weddings today. so i think 50/50 is fair, since its both that are running to the alter. there are ways that the cost can be cut down. amount of guests would be a start and if the other party goes over the amount of guests, then they pay for that share.
2007-01-20 15:08:19 · answer #3 · answered by dana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm getting married in a few months and this is a question that I am facing as well (who pays for what). Traditionally, the brides family foots the bill for the ceremony/reception and the grooms family is responsible for the rehersal/honeymoon. My finacee and I spoke alot about it (as he and I are paying for the majority of the wedding) and have agreed to do things a little differently. My parents had a set amount of money they are willing to spend for the wedding and anything over and above that is my responisbilty.
In this case - because the bride has so many more guests being invited, which is also the case for me - if they are wanting to split things she either needs to invite less people or up the amount she/her family is willing to pay. It is irresponsible and a sign of lacking character for them to be unwilling to pay for their guests. Suggest to your brother that he figure a budget and set an amount that he is willing to pay and anything over and above that is their responsibilty.
2007-01-20 15:35:12 · answer #4 · answered by Tiny Leprechaun 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, that definitely isn't traditional. I'm a bride myself. I'm a little surprised your brother's fiance's parents asked that of your family. Especially with the difference in guest lists. If they want a party that big, it's going to cost! In my situation, my future in-laws offered a set amount to my fiance and I to use how we please. We are then responsible for anything above and beyond the total budget which includes what my parents offered. I would recommend sitting down to discuss what is going on. Find out why money is such a big issue to them. If they can't afford it, then maybe they could trim down the guest list a little. The last thing we want to happen is for the couple to get torn apart by a family feud that could be settled easily. Good luck!
2007-01-20 15:09:20 · answer #5 · answered by Curiosity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When it comes to money - nothing is going to be simple.
Have your side of the family come up with a budget of what you can afford. Offer that amount and no more- It is MUCH easier to just give a lump sum- then being nickle and dimed over every reciept. If the brides side cannot afford to make up the difference than they are going to have to have a sit down and re-evaluate what is truly important for the day.
Is your brother and his fiance contributing to their wedding? It is not realistic now adays for them not to. Also to make up some costs they can do a jack and jill type of bachelor/bachelorette party where they charge people by plate vs. them getting gifts and stuff.
2007-01-20 15:13:29 · answer #6 · answered by Sadey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is not proper marrage edicate. The rule is that the bride's parents pay. The bride has to many guests maybe you should ask her to lower the number of people
2007-01-20 15:07:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Traditionally, the bride's family is supposed to foot the majority of the wedding expenses. Realistically, I think the couple should pay for their own wedding with each set of parents donating whatever amount they feel is necessary.
2007-01-20 15:11:34 · answer #8 · answered by Inquiring Mind 19 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are just trying to get as much money out of you as possible. Just pay for your guests, because they are the only ones you are responsible for
2007-01-20 15:05:35 · answer #9 · answered by chris_m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋