Ahkay here's the deal I've been going out with this guy, David for a month and a half we broke up today. During half the time we were dating, my best guy friend, James, had a major crush on me and he still does. I like him too but the problem is that my best girl friend, Missy, really likes James. I talked to her a few minutes ago and she guessed there was something going on between us, and she said she was okay with it, but I really don't want to hurt her, I'm afraid she might be hiding her feelings. I've known James since 3rd grade and it's really wierd that we both feel this way now. After having a brother-sister, best friend relationship for so long. I really like him. I mean he was there for me when David and I broke up. He gave me good advice too. I think I might love him. But I really don't know what I'm supposed to do. Help, anyone???
2007-01-20 06:35:28 · 6 answers · asked by Laura 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Love and feelings for others have a way of showing up at awkward times in our life. These are hard choices to make in life so you need to get use to it. It is normal for you to be confused. You need to follow your heart and I think that if this old friend you speak about has interest in you then you should pursue it. You best girlfriend is really a friend if she is willing to stand back and let you have the boy she is interested in. But it is really up to him as it surely takes two to tango in a relationship. Just keep in mind that you have a great friend and you just broke up with your old boyfriend. This can be considered on the rebound for you and you don't want to ruin a long term friendship to have him as a rebound love. These are points you need to consider in your heart and mind. You sound like a intelligent and sensitive young lady, you will do the right thing.
2007-01-20 06:54:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, i guess David is no longer a problem here. The big problem is choosing between being with James or be loyal to Missy. I have to tell you, that first of all you should be sure about what you feel for James, you both could be inlove, or maybe, because you have been too close for so long, you have become sort of a "happy place" for each other. This is really frecuent, because you have this amazing special relationship that can be easily confused with love.
But if you are totally sure that you love him, and you already talked with Missy, then you should talk to James and tell him how you feel and find a solution with him, maybe you both want to be together, or maybe you are both confused and need to think about it, but you have to be sure of what you feel first. About Missy, if she feels something for James, she might be hurt, even when she said it was ok, and even if she never let you know about it, but dont worry, you have been honest with her, and let her know before, and thats something you expect from your best friend, so, you are doing the right thing. The important thing about best friends is loyalty and honesty, and they have to feel part of your life, and if she has been there when you decided or found out that you loved James, Missy will appreciate it, maybe she will be hurt but just for a while, itll pass, and you will be there for her, and your friendship wont be damaged because you have been clear with her. Just be sure that you are clear about your feelings.
2007-01-20 06:49:10 · answer #2 · answered by Helle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is really obvious that you love this James guy alot, and you obviosuly love him that much to want to go out with him. Here is some advice about james: He really likes you, but he is loved by your best friend Missy. You should have a chat and explain that you really like this guy and you know she likes him to. Explain that you don't want her hiding her feelings from you and if she has a problem with you going to ask James out then could she please tell you because she is a really good friend and you don't want to loose her, also explain that you don't mind if she doesn't want to go out with him and cos you can always find another boyfriend. If you need anymore help add me on x-holly-hopz-x@hotmail.co.uk After you have told her everything above apart from the email address then also tell her that if you do go out with him and she doesn't mind could she tell you if she does mind when you start going out with him. Good luck
2007-01-20 06:44:39 · answer #3 · answered by Holz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think your friend is telling the truth about its ok to date him. the similar thing happen to me i had a friend that like my X's. she called and told me what happen and i was cool with it. the reason why i was cool with it is because i really did not love him and did not bother me when she told me. so why should i stop what might be good thing for her when i don't want him or love him. i feel the same with your best friend she don't have any feelings for him. if you feel that her attitude change. she might liked him but like you a little better as a friend.
2007-01-20 06:51:15 · answer #4 · answered by raquel j 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
forget about him and re-affirm you bond with your GF!!!, guys will *** and go..... as you get older you will know this to be true, but if you burn bridges with your GF's you will developed a pattern of being a *****... and the guys will sense it in you and just get what they want and move on and the girls won't really want to be close to you and your life will spiral down hill and you will end up a stipper in LA...where you went to be a star... cause you sooooo talented!!..oh wait.. ok even if she said it's cool.. she will be very touched if you don;t go for him and tell her it's because you would never want anything to come between you and here.. especially an boy with a hard on and one thing on his mind! life fish in the sea boy are.. snap your fingers and they come running..
2007-01-20 06:43:27 · answer #5 · answered by Derrick Zooolander 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow i have an almost identical problem... i have a crush on my best friend also and she has just broken up with her boyfriend now that shes broken up with him i thought there was nothing in my way but of course theres other people that wants her too but i asked her out i was positive she would say yes but... she flat out rejected me....
2007-01-20 06:46:06 · answer #6 · answered by William S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋