How would you approach a parent on this?

Question

I watch 2 little girls every other weekend and the younger one who is almost 4 doesn't know her colors, doesnt really know her numbers and can not recognize letters by sight.
I was horrified at this since my 3yr old knows all those and he just turned 3 in December.
Today I worked with her for an hour, doing repetition on her colors and still she just couldn't do it. She has told me she doesnt want to learn.
I've found out the mother doesnt help at all ( that is worse ) and the daycare she goes to is obviuosly not doing their job.

She can't watch tv the rest of the day until she learns the 6 colors that I have been going over with her. How would you tell a parent that they may need to have their child evaluated for a learning disability? I mean after an hour of going over 6 colors ONLY, she should've picked up on it

Any suggestions? or should I just say well her mother doesnt care why shouldI ? But I just cant stand the fact letting that happen

thanks in advance

red youre an idiot. most almost 4 yr olds I know can do at least all basic colors, shapes and numbers. go away troll

the mother KNOWS she doesnt know them and asked us to help with her and her other daughter who doesnt know her times table and is in the 5th grade

Answer 1

Bound's hubby here:

I think the biggest learning disability here is the mother. Children model what their parents do. Until they enter school the greatest amount of contact they have with any one person is their parents. The parents play an important part as a role model. If learning numbers, shapes and colors is not a priority with the parent, it will not be a priority with the child. This trend will start from preschool and last through life. I see this with the teenagers I teach and the level of interest their parents take in their children's education and reinforcement. This is based on 25 years of teaching experience and teaching children from both ends of the learning spectrum: challenged to gifted and talented. The most important thing that can be done is to get the parents actively involved in their child's learning process.

Bottom line, until the mother cares, the child really isn't going to. It's a shame, but that's the way it is.

You're trying to do a good thing by trying to teach the child. I would suggest trying to do it in a nonchalant way, though. Make it fun. Play games that happen to teach her colors, shapes and numbers. If you push, she's probably not going to be interested. Don't focus on punishments, but emphasize rewards for success.

Answer 2

You are in a lose lose situation. You can work with the child as much as you think you should, but in the end if the mother isn't enforcing learning at home it is not going to sink in as quickly. She may have eye trouble too. I know it sounds silly but some children don't develop their "color" eyesight and need to be evaluated by an eye doc to make sure their vision is ok. If she is 4 she may start preschool next year and that may help. Is she an only child or the oldest? If so that may play a huge role in it. My daughter just turned 3 in October but is the middle child and she knows the colors, numbers, letters, etc. I think it is a matter of what you want to do. I think she needs to be taught and try working with her everyday you have her for about an hour and then take a break, but try to make it a fun experience. Make it into games or something like what color is the frosting on a cookie or something to that extent. I feel for you in the fact that you know this daycare she goes to isn't doing what they are paid to do and you are worried. I am glad to see however that this child has someone looking out for her. Keep up what you are doing and approach the mother if you feel comfortable with it. You can only tell her what you see and if she doesn't act on it then she is the one to blame.

Answer 3

My suggestion would be to wait a little bit longer and work with her.

Remember being very young and having adult force us to learn? Try to make it a game, make it fun. The more fun it is the more they will want to learn it.

If no progress is being made after a good while, then you might want to talk to the parent about how the child is behaving, without adding any personal comments, such as "well my 3 year old know these!" The reason being is that when you add personal remarks such as that, the parent will immediately shut down because they will assume you are telling them that they are a bad parent. Which is not the case.

Gently approach the subject. Drop hints that she is just not understanding things, hints remember. Eventually the parent will hear these hints and come to their own conclusion, which is exactly what you want.

As for TV, what is she watching? Shows like Blues Clues, Bear in a Big Blue House, or even Barney will teach these things in nearly every show. All of these children shows are there to help entertain and teach kids. Educational programming is key.

Make goals for her, award things that are healthy for her. But most of all research. You are a babysitter, but as an adult you are instictually a teacher, even when you don't think you are teaching they are watching you.

Hope this helps.

Answer 4

Whoa, you are pushing too hard. You can turn teaching into a game, it doesn't have to be a chore or a punishment. Play games like home made 'Go Fish' where you ask if they have a red card or a green card. You're going to make her hate school before she ever gets there. The expectation is that they know this stuff by the time they start kindergarten, which would be about a year and a half from now, not at the age of 3 (or almost 4). And there are many, many children in the kindergarten class at our school who don't know these things when they start.

Honestly, I think your intentions are good, but if I read this question and realized you were talking about my child, I would get someone else to watch my kids. If you truly care about this child, and you want her to learn, then find a way to teach her without stomping all over her self esteem.

Answer 5

I have a four year old little boy. He does know some of his colors and shapes but he does not know his letters. I have taken my son to the doctor because everybody kept telling me that something was wrong because he was interested in learning his letters or anything else for that matter. He learned his colors by himself, red green and yellow he learned from the street signs when we were driving around town. His shapes he also learned by himself playing with his blocks. Even though he does not know his letters by site his doctors believe that he is above average in his learning capabilities. I am so very happy for you that your daughter knows this stuff and she is only 3, good for you.

And by the way 6 colors in an hour is outrageous to think that a four year old can get that. Do you know what is a proper time frame? I have my sons school papers for next year and they go over letters for 6 months. 5 letters a week. That means 1 letter a day and you expect her to get 6 colors in an hour that is absolutely crazy.

Answer 6

I would keep going over the colors, numbers and letter with her. You're doing that child a favor. By the time my friend's son was 2 1/2 he could count to at least 10 and knew his ABCs and colors. My son's doctor said every child should know those basics by age 3, unless he/she is mentally challanged etc. Don't just throw in the towel, but do suggest to the mom that you've noticed these things. I think the mom is neglectful for not helping her child expand her mind and learn. Maybe suggest that her little girl had a great time learning her colors today and that she (the girl) wants her(the mom) to participate with her in the home. Best of luck and God bless people like you who are willing to help!

Answer 7

Just because she's almost 4 doesn't mean anything. It sounds like you are judging this based solely on your child. Heck, if my mom did that, she would think every child should walk and have words at 8 months like i did.
She may not be learning disabled, and as stated above, one hour for 6 colors....that's kinda pushing it. Try 3 colors, and don't make it for an hour. You're probably not keeping her attention. And daycares aren't supposed to teach. That's what a preschool does. And who are you to say the mom doesn't care? I honestly would leave it at this...ask the mom if there is anything that she WANTS you to work with them on. Then explain that you have been starting numbers with the youngest, and she doesn't seem to be catching on. ASk mom how she did it with the older. But DO NOT overstep your boundaries here.
You could possibly be a bad teacher. This child may not be responding to the way you are TRYING to teach.

Answer 8

First of all, don't compare children. Children develop at different rates. My 2 year old barely speaks due to hearing loss, however does know her colors when asked to point to one. I agree that a 4 year old should at least know her colors.

Second, telling a parent there is something wrong with their child never goes over well. You could lose the sitting job you have with her. But if you feel that you should do something, try saying something like "Have you noticed that (child's name) doesn't know her colors yet?" That might open up the mother to say something regarding the situation. That way you aren't accusing her.

Good luck. It's a tough situation.

Answer 9

She could be color blind . Do not give up on her . YET .
Take just one color.Let's say 'red' for instance . Make a large sample of the color on a sheet . Then every hour or so show it to her and let her gaze at it for several seconds . If/when she finally can do it, add another color and so on .
If it absolutely does not work, tell the parents again . After that it's up for grabs . You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink . She needs to be checked out by a doctor and it is way beyond what you can do .
Good Luck you sound like a super sitter !

Answer 10

My friend's son couldn't tell his colour at age 6 - and he's fine now. Every day all the kids would wear red to school on one day and then another day blue.
I think teaching her six colours at a time is 5 too many. Try to narrow it down to one at a time. And have a "yellow" day!
It's quite clear her mother hasn't got the time or energy to teach her which is why she hasn't come to terms with it. I doubt there is anything wrong with the child, other than a lazy or unconcerned mother.