i'm in love with a guy that i JUST got to know in November. it's really weird how we are SO connected!! we have SO much in common! i cant tell u how alike we are because i dont have enough space. we feel the same way about each other & i NEVER thought that this could happen to me. we're already talkin about marriage& havin kids (no time soon) after i graduate in 2008. he is my "Soul Mate" i feel. i've NEVER felt this way about a guy...EVER! he says the same thing. he hasn't disrespected me in any way by talking about sex or anything. HE'S just THE BEST!
BUT
i'm a little confused right now....we are not of the same religion. to me that plays a HUGE part in my relationship. we HAVE to be the same religion! my kids cannot be put in the middle of this. we have different lifestyles& that could hurt our relationship also. he curses, i dont. he doesn't drink or smoke, but he hangs around people who do. he has goals in life& so do i, but i just dont think that this will work.
WHAT DO I DO?
2007-01-20 06:28:16 · 13 answers · asked by so_much_2_life! 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Think of this as a pro-active suggestion, not a non-answer lol : slow down and give the relationship more time to meander and grow. I am guessing you two have already spoken about all that you have written about in your question, and you are right, it IS huge.
BUT --- there is no reason to decide NOW if you two will marry, because it is just too soon, The kinds of issues you raise need to simmer a bit. Don't trust any decision if it comes quickly, it probably has not been thought through and lived with long enough.
The religion issue is more critical if he asserts he has/wants no religion in his life. If he is simply of a different faith, you have a lot to discuss but less to overcome. I think children will not have a problem if you have very similar religious positions. If the religion issue is non-negotiable to you, where are you prepared to be flexible? If it is non-negotiable with him, then you have your answer. You can't be soulmates if you don't define "soul" the same way.
So slow down and enjoy the view. You will enjoy getting to know each other more and more, and all the questions will eventually answer themselves.
2007-01-20 07:00:13 · answer #1 · answered by and_y_knot 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to give this some more time. Novemember is way too soon to think marriage...give this at least a couple more months for the "honeymoon" phase of the relationship to wear off, and for things to become more real. It sounds to me like this is too good of a thing for you to just throw away so soon.
In the meantime, talk about the religion issue with him. Say that you'd like nothing more than for this to work out, but religion is a big issue to me.
There's also the chance that your view on religion will change the longer you start seeing this guy.
Would you rather be unhappy marrying in your religion, or happily ever after marrying someone outside your religion? That's a question you need to think long and hard about. Deep down somewhere inside of you, maybe that's the reason this relationship is going so well, there's no pressure, and maybe it's a totally free feeling to be with someone not in your religion.
2007-01-20 06:37:41 · answer #2 · answered by Robert 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a reason you're having doubts! You start off by talking about how "alike" you all are, but then the truth comes out... There are some differences, BIG ONES. Religious differences can play a HUGE role in a relationship and can be very difficult to do with.
As you said, think of your children, would it be fair for them to live in a divided household.
Also, you said you graduate in 2008. Are you still in HS, if so, you are still young. Don't settle down so soon with someone you barely know. You may regret it!
Wish you the best
2007-01-20 06:34:34 · answer #3 · answered by Mommy of 3 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you graduating from high school? College? How old are you two? If you are old enough to make this decision and both feel this way, you should get some counseling now and iron out your issues before you jump over the broom! Now, are both of you Christians? If so, just because you are different religions does not mean that you can't work this out. If one is Jewish and the other Christian, this too, can possibly be worked out. If one is Christian and something else, this would be far too great a wall to work around.My husband and I have different religions so we have agreed to go to a Non Denominational church. We are both Christians. You are right about wanting to work out the religion issue before marriage! Have you spoken to him about how you feel about respectful language? If you are soul mates, this is something you can work out. If you are both old enough and have known each other long enough, do what makes you both happy! Be sure to build your lives around what is important to you and keep God in the center of your relationship! God bless you and may He lead you to make the right decision for your life!
2007-01-20 06:40:07 · answer #4 · answered by Marie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should give it more time before you jump into a decision about marriage. The concerns you have aren't trivial, and you need to make sure that you two are able to work out the problems that will arise. For the time being, just enjoy where you are right now.
2007-01-20 06:37:35 · answer #5 · answered by Surely Funke 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-07 11:15:41 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you Love this guy... just follow your heart! It sounds like you've finally found someone special... and thats hard to find now-a-days. Just don't let him go, and if you want to get married talk about it more with him. As far as the Reliegon... you should ask God... cause I've never been in that situation. But I hope everything works out for the 2 of you!!
2007-01-20 06:33:52 · answer #7 · answered by CUTIE 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think it's a little too soon to be worried about getting married. Perhaps you guys should work on talking about your differences and determine if the answers are something you can live with.
2007-01-20 06:32:39 · answer #8 · answered by Dani 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You've known him for two months and you're thinking about marriage? You're a full blown bag of crazy.
2007-01-20 06:35:57 · answer #9 · answered by Michael V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marry him later
2007-01-20 06:34:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋