Should i give in to my parents??break up with bf??

Question

Okay i am in my first year of college and a commuter.I choose to go to a 2 yr college instead of a 4 yr (even though i got into 3 colleges that were 4 yrs)so i could figure out what i wanted to do and be with my bf.My parents feel like i made a mistake by doing this but are paying for my college tuition,i live at home free and most of my car insurance(i only pay 12.50 a week that goes toward it). They have signed me up for barbrazion a school that gives classes for modeling/acting/personal development to help me with self confidence class is 6-9 p.m on thursday .My college classes are monday 11-1:50 in the afternoon anthropology,history friday 10:00-12:50 a.m,abnormal psychology 6-8:40 p.m,and english 11-1:50 p.m.I work for my mom's landscape company as a secratary currently doing only 6-8 hour a week because its winter and only make 8.50 an hour.None of this includes chores.My bf keeps demanding time from me and wants to borrow money that he never pays back.I love him though?

My bf is my first everything and we have been together since senior year in highschool.He was never lazy like this before he is now only taking one or two classes and sleeping/playing video games all day.He cant keep a job anymore and gets angry when i cant come out and party with him.I keep hoping he will change but he has not?

I feel like i am running on empty at this point aiting for him to go back to normal?

Answer 1

your choice to go to a 2 year college is ok as long as you did it to figure out what you wanted to do and not for your bf.

It is your life and you make your choices, it is not your parents life. They can guide you but shouldn't judge your choices, since they should trust that whatever they taught you over the years has made you a smart and responsible woman.

It's your choice if you want to give your boyfriend time and give up some of your activities or choose your activites and tell him you have a life.

You can't change him, and he has chosen to change already, so if he "the way he is" doesn't match your ideals then move on. You're young, there are tons of people out there to choose from and if you and him are meant to be then you will run into each other again. If you love him you can still keep him as a friend.

Don't lend money unless you're willing to kiss it goodbye. People will never learn how to have their own money if you keep rescuing them with loans. Let them learn for themselves.

You need to choose what's more important to you at this time....what do u want? him or your activities?

Answer 2

You have really answered your own question. You talk about your parents and your courses and how hard you are working. You then barely mention that your boyfriend is demanding time from you and borrows money from you (which he does not intend to pay back...you are being used...sorry to be blunt, but that is the truth.)

It sounds like you are working hard to improve your life and become an adult and accomplish something with your life.

Your boyfriend sounds like he has reverted back to being a young teenager and has no real plan or drive to go forward in his life. Sometimes people out grow each other. You have become an adult, and he has not. Your tiny statement of I love him though does not mean that he loves you back, he is using you.

You probably have never heard the old saying of "neither a borrower not a lender be," but that is the truth. You need to concentrate on your studies and forget about the boyfriend for now. If it is meant for the two of you to be together, you can always get back together once you have found the rest of the path of your life.

I know adults who would be quite happy making $8.50 per hour. You are a very lucky young lady, good luck with your studies. Your parents must be very proud of you as you have made great choices, other than the boyfriend. Best of luck to you.

Answer 3

Listen heres the deal. My sister just ended a realtionship that sounds a lot like yours after being with him for 2 years. The guy didnt really want to work and bounced here and there because he really didnt want to work. He didnt do much for the relationship for god sakes he gave her paper people for her Birthday. He also played games all the time.
No offense but it sounds like he is using you at this point. He does nothing and plays games all day. If he really cared he would not demand so much of you. He would see that you are working hard going to school and doing your job. You should first of all stop giving him money because that is just keeping him from going out and getting a job. Then you have to ask yourself is it really worth the stress that he is putting on you. The thing is you sound like a really nice girl that is working hard for her goals and I think you deserve better that is my opinion. Just look at it this way you are going to achieve your goals. You are going to finish college and do your best. If you bf cant do that now what is he going to be when you are done with college. Is he going to be feeding off of you for what you make? After all that hard work you put into it? I know where you are coming from but sometimes hard things have to be done. This is all my opinion really. What ever your decision I believe it will be a good one you seem like a smart girl. Good Luck with college and your future.

Answer 4

I don't know about breaking up exactly, but I'd try backing off from the guy until he gets some sort of aim in life. He may develop one in an effort to impress you, which would be great. In any case, you seem to be validating his lifestyle if you keep spending time you really can't spare to be with him, when he's got more time on his hands than he knows what to do with.

If he does not have a focus, then his job is finding that focus. He should be attending classes or going to a guidance counselor or something toward finding his niche in the word of work. Just saying "go get a job" is not adequate if he just gets lousy jobs he does not keep because he can't care about them. He needs to find something he CAN care about, and do it.

Answer 5

Why would you choose your bf over your parents? It sounds like your parents are doing everything for you to succeed in life. Is your bf doing drugs? He's lazy, plays video games and goes only to a couple of classes? Well let me tell you. When I was younger I quit a 2yr. college just to take care of my parents. Which was great for my parents but, my life was unproductive. I have struggled for the last 20 years. I have been a janitor, delivered papers at 3a.m. every morning no matter what the weather was like. With NO day off. I was on welfare for years because I didn't have an education well enough to support my family. Now that I'm 43 years old I'm back in college trying to get an education that I can make more than minimum wage. After I finish I will owe $20,000 for school. And because of my age I will be lucky if I live long enough to make my education pay off. The point is let your bf go his way and you go yours. Your parents are paying for your education. Great make them proud! Get your education. Become a productive member of society.Grow let your bf go. He is holding you back. You will find someone to replace your bf but there is no one to replace your parents. You only get one set. My parents has been with Jesus for 18 long years. And no one can replace them. Good luck!

Answer 6

Since you live at home for free you should comply with your parents rules...I know that if you were MY daughter you would be paying rent, which my daughter does. she carries a full course load (18 units, getting a degree in French language and culture) and works part time...(by the way if you're taking english you are probably failing since you can't spell a simple word like SECRETARY, which is probably why you only make $8.50 an hour as well) I suggest you stop worrying about a mooching boyfriend and start paying your own way in the world.

Answer 7

What respect is he showing you? You have a lot going on in your life and he doesn't respect that. You're going to be a highly successful person someday, and you don't often see successful people married to losers. You're setting yourself up for a situation where you won't even have a CHOICE of whether to stay home with your children or work. The most important thing you can know about a potential bf is his credit score--this does not make you a gold digger, it makes you a SMART WOMAN.

Answer 8

this is a hard issue. All I can suggest to you is support him and encourage him. If he isn't paying you back you are just enabling him to continue with the choices he is making by giving him money. Instead you should be encouraging him to take care of himself. I would think you would want him to be able to support himself. If you decide to marry it will be a problem. It helps though not to beat him up about it or complain ( not that I am saying you are doing that) but it sounds like he just needs to be motivated. I know about support and encouraging. I've been with my husband since I was 12. One of the things we faced was when he went through a bad gambling problem. It was very hard.

Answer 9

keep in mind that every parents want what is best for their children. if you chose to go to a 2 year college because of your bf, think twice. follow your dreams. i have a friend who drives three and half hours from houston to dallas just to see her gf once a every two weeks. if he truly loves you, then he should be willing to compromise and support you in anything situation. follow your dream. at the same time you have to please your parents in a way. especially since they are paying for your tuition. am not saying break up. bot go to a 4 year college. most emplyers want a four year college or more degree. your boyfriend will always be there. unless he is not willing to be. guess what. it sounds like you are only needed for parties and sex. it hurt to hear this but its true. you cant save someone who doesn't want to be saved. unless he is willing to change. you CANT CHANGE HIM. listen to your parents. they want what is best for you babe. and i want what is best for you. if this couch potato continues, he will bring you down with him. call me may be i can teach you a thing or two. i have three sisters so i know what am talking about .best of luck

Answer 10

I very sorry, but most likely you are wasting your time with him. Do you always want to be the strong one in a relationship? Do you want to have to support him and you at the same time? Do you feel its fair to work and study your butt off so you can be a better/ smarter person, so you can have a life full of sitting around watching your bf play video games?

You sound like a very smart and beautiful person. You deserve a man who will support your dreams -physically and emotionally. If you associate with people who have less motivation then you, they will eventually steal your motivation from you. Seriously, how may smart, educated people do you know that are in a great relationship with someone who sits around all day playing video games? You become who you associate with. Hang with good people, and you will find yourself becoming a better person.

It sounds to me like your man is selfish and is trying to bring you down. Drop him, and find someone who wants to be somebody.