My 5 year olds Mental Health?

Question

I need some serious help......my 5 year old is seriously in trouble and I dont know what to do, I am confused and at the end of my rope....He has always been a bit of a handful, I was hoping it was more of a phase, he is really, really destructive, he brakes everyones person things, he puts holes in the walls, he yells and screams at me, and wost of all he tries to hurt his 6 year old brother and I hate to have to say this but he tried to kill his 2 year old baby sister...I caught him with her on his bed, he was on top of her with a pair of scissors that i didnt see him grab and he was about to stab her in the chest....I dont know why he is the way he is....I have tried everything from age appropriate spankings on the rump, to time outs in the corner, on his bed on the couch, I have tried taking away all of his things...nothing is working with him....I dont know what to do...he has told me he will kill me and the rest of the family...I dont take him serious because i.....

cant believe my sweet little baby boy would really have those feelings...my 2 other children are well behaved, but he just doesnt seem to get it, and for the past year I feel i have been neglecting them because I have been spending so much extra time and effort with he, I thought maybe he had middle child syndrome and felt that I didnt love him as much as the other kids, but that cant be it...this child has never been abused in his life, i am very protective over my children...this morning he gave his sister a razor that he climbed on the bathroom counters to get and she cut her little lips...what do I do???? My husband, the children's father, is at his ropes end too and was thinking that maybe he needs some serious help, maybe even needs to be under a doctors care....But he can be so good and so sweet, but most of my day is disciplining him and I just cant do it any more.....you know I have my own mental and physical heath problems and this is taking such a toll on my

body and mind....I love my son so very much, he is my baby boy, I feel like i am failing him and I just do know what to do! Can you give me some advice...I really need some help.....i dont like having bad feelings about my own son....am I a bad mom?

Answer 1

Hello................First of all you are not a bad mom. I am mother to a child with bipolar affective disorder and let me tell you right now that what's happening with your child has little to do with your parenting skills. The way to help him most effectively is to realize that whatever is going on in his head is out of your control and his control as well. I believe that it is time for you to bring in the experts. At first, when my daughter was diagnosed, I thought that if I just loved her more, and was there to steer her away from dangerous situations that she would eventually "come around." I actually fought the idea of getting too many doctors involved, fearing that she would be removed from my home and the only person who loved her. Thank goodness I thought better of this idea and got my child the help she needed. Actually, the chance of her being taken from me would have been greater had I not asked for help. She was a danger to herself and to others, and it was only a matter of time before someone would have reported it to the proper authorities. By cooperating 100%, I was able to be a part of her care instead of fighting for the right to see her. I was able to have her released into my care instead of being placed into foster care. Your child needs you as much as mine did, do right by him now before your options are taken from you. Be proactive.Your boy doesn't understand anymore than you do why he does the things he does. Whether or not his torment comes to an end is entirely in your hands. I know that you will never regret getting him the help he needs. Just think for one second what the alternative is........he has already tried to hurt others. What will you do should he follow through with his threats? You are a good mom, but you can't be there every second. It is so difficult to believe that your child has anything wrong with them, but the worst thing you can do is swim in a pool of denial....You'll drown, for sure. Good luck and take care............

Answer 2

You are obviously not a bad mom!!! Not all troubled children are troubled because of bad parenting, trauma, etc. Your child could have a disorder due to am imbalance such as bipolar and all the good parenting in the world will not help. But you have to get him help before he succeeds in hurting someone. Medication and counseling can do amazing things!!
My son was 7 when he had to be hospitalized for two weeks. He was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. He is on several meds, in therapy, and is doing fantastic!!! There is hope!! Get him help asap, It will improve your whole families lives! Good luck!

Answer 3

I worked with adolescents for years and what I learned was that kid's are not born evil they are made that way. Maybe it's because he didn't bond with you at a young age, maybe you are too distant, maybe you and your husband argue in front of them, maybe your discipline is too much, I don't know. But I worked at several treatment centers for troubled kids and every kid's behavior could be tracked back to something in their childhood. There is not a mean gene that people get genetically. I think that there is the opportunity for us to be genetically succeptable to violence but that has to be triggered by something in the environment.

You need to get this child in to counseling immediately. It is your responsibility as the mother to get this kid help not only for your kid but for the rest of the family. Your first responsibility is to the welfare of your children not your own personal welfare. Maybe your mental health issues have come out in a way that has affected your family without you realizing it. It doesn't matter whose fault it is it only matters what you are going to do now. If your child is attempting to murder your other children you need to contact the police so that you have a police report to back things up in case something does happen. You need to get your other children away from this five year old. You need to protect all of your children. The whole family needs therapy. Something has happened in your family to cause this child's behavior. You need to take an honest look at what's going on within your family.

Answer 4

go to your family doctor and tell him exactly what you asked us here- no your not a bad mother, your 5 year old may have ADHD or could be bi-polar or any of 100 other different thimngs he needs some tests run on him and things will be ok because the above didorders are controable with the right medications- but GO TO THE DOCTOR WITH your son right NOW before he does accidentally harm the younger baby or himself- I know it seems hard right now but get to the doctor he will help you and your son!! My thoughts are with you and prayers too! E-mail me if you want to talk some more ok? [e-mail]

Answer 5

You are not a bad mother. At least you are trying.I think a phychaitrist would be a huge help. He needs help before he is always this way. I am being serious when I say this, watch _____The Nanny Diaries______ or whatever that show is called and use some of their techniques

Answer 6

You will only be a bad mum if you dont get your son the help (that you know) that he needs.
He obviously has some serious issues and you and your husband need the right help and guidance to set him bath on a right path and to protect your other children;
Get help ASAP:

Answer 7

You are NOT a bad mom. I have worked with these kinds of kids for 8 years and I can tell you that they aren't easy. A lot of times we see kids who act like this because of how they were raised (parents on drugs, witnessing domestic violence, etc) but there were many cases as well where the child was given everything they needed to grow to be healthy all around, yet the child was still out of control. Sounds like your child has anger issues, but I bet he won't be able to tell you why (children rarely are able to differentiate between different emotions, it's very confusing for them). Next time your child is being very destructive, you can take him to the emergency room (sounds weird, but sometimes this is how parents get help). You can also take him to a psychologist who will start with therapy, but if this child is as out of control as you say he is, he might need some more intensive treatment. I worked in a residential treatment center for violent and mentally ill children as young as 4 (yeah, sad that we had kids that young). Only a psychiatrist will be able to diagnose your child, but it sounds like your child suffers from some kind of mood disorder as well as some oppositional/defiant disorder. Medication can help, but also being in an environment where 24 hours he receives intensive treatment might help as well. At my work we are trained how to put children into protective holds to stop them from being unsafe to themselves or others. A lot of times children discover that a) they don't like being in a hold and b) that they can't get away with their destructive behavior anymore. It sounds like you are doing all that you can to help your children while still trying to raise and protect your other children. Part of the treatment at the center was family counseling (with and without the child, a lot of times parents need some counseling on their own as it is very emotionally difficult to have a child like this) as well as some in-home skills support where a staff would come into the home to give support. We would also offer respite services where a child could go to another home for a night or two to give the family a break. Sounds very difficult, I understand, and as extreme as this may be, it does work. I don't know where you live, but below is the website for the company that I work for (I live in Oregon). Don't forget that through this hard time you need support for yourself as well. Don't think that you can do it all and that you are a bad mom if you can't. Oh another thing is you might want to start taking his threats seriously. I know he's only 5, but he has already tried to kill his baby sister. When he threatens, let him know that this is not okay and that he will receive consequences for it. I have seen 4 and 5 year olds who threaten and actually have tried to follow through with killing their family (granted one was adopted, but still...). Threats are serious, no matter how ridiculous they sound. Good luck with this and please seek outside help. No one expects you to "cure" your child on your own when he is this difficult.

Answer 8

a spanking and a time out is not going to solve this, it sounds like he has definitely something mentally wrong, take him to a doctor a.s.a.p before he kills one of the other children this time. There is a range of things it could be and all are treatable by medicine so please do not hesitate , you are neglecting the health of your other children by postponing this

Answer 9

this child needs serious help from professionals not us on Yahoo answers, I do not believe it is anything you have done , just get him help as soon as possible, as he is trying to harm your other children, and how are you going to feel then GET HELP NOW

Answer 10

How Not To Raise Psychotic Children
Have you ever observed someone dancing around and talking to a friend who isn't there just before he pisses in his pants? If that person is 2 years old, the behavior is dismissed as "immaturity." If you were at a concert and saw an old man doing these same things, most would think that he was "tripping out" on something.

The behavior of someone on LSD and a small child are very similar. I believe that there is a naturally occurring "LSD like" chemical that we are all born with that wears off over a period of 16 to 25 years. During this time we call "maturing," it should be expected that the child will make really stupid and thoughtless mistakes. It is important as a parent to not over exaggerate the insignificance of some of these events.

When I was in High School, I knew of this chick who I'll call Ann. Ann was a perfect straight "A" and "B" junior high student who played soccer and never had taken drugs. When she got into High School, her social life increased and some of those "A"s turned into "B"s and some of those "B"s turned into "C"s. Her parents took her to a Psychiatrist for a diagnosis of "the problem." Conveniently, his office was located at one of these in-patient "care" facilities. After verifying her insurance coverage, the "Doctor" diagnosed her within one hour as having severe depression that would require an in-patient hospital stay.

Ann started crying hysterically after she was informed that she wouldn't be going home or back to school any time soon and actually had to be restrained. "Do you see how much your daughter is crying? Obviously, she has emotional problems," the Psychiatrist added.

I don't know specifically what happened during her stay, but she was coincidentally "cured" after 30 days-- when her insurance ran out-- and released. Immediately afterwards, her life spiraled down hill. She ran away from home a few times, started using crack cocaine and eventually wound up trading her body for fixes. Her grades got so bad that she had to transfer to a "continuation" school. Eventually, she ended up in Juvenile Hall for stealing purses. That was the last that I heard of Ann.


Behavior that is often considered "problemed" may very well have good intentions. What do you do if your child is found making pipe bombs? It's not the fact that he was simply making a bomb; you should investigate why he was making the bomb. Is he pissed at the neighbors and planning to blow up their mailbox, or is he simply studying for a career as a munitions expert? If as parents, you can't help your kids, take them to a close friend, relative, priest, pastor, monk or rabbi instead of a "psychologist" or "psychiatrist." It's a lot cheaper and they won't inflict mental damage on them. To help in speeding the maturing process, be sure to let your children browse Guru Jeff's Page Of Truth.

If you have a kid that is under mental "therapy," withdrawal the treatment immediately. If the child is taking "medication," go to a holistic doctor to help treat the withdrawal symptoms. Many times the withdrawal symptoms will be misdiagnosed by Psychologists as a "relapse" and used as an excuse to be put back on the drug.

Raising kids is by no means easy, but the laws of Karma dictate that eventually the children of your kids will wreak just as much havoc on their lives.