Would it be wrong to just have one last fling before I get married , just to get it out of my system. I know this may not be a typical question that a female asks, but hey we are who we are.
2007-01-20 05:50:52 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Not a bad person, No. Just one that isn't really ready for commitment. Good to find out before you get married. Doubt you'd like it if it was your fiance asking this question!
2007-01-20 06:00:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, maybe this means that you and your fiance aren't right for each other. But if you do truly love your fiance, it's best to stay away from this guy or he might be the cause of some real trouble.
Try thinking about this from a different perspective. Let's say that your fiance has his eye on another girl even though you two are engaged. He wants to have "just one last fling" with her before he's married to you. Would this make you think he's a bad person. If I was you, I sure would.
All I'm saying is be careful, but I do highly recommend that you don't do anything foolish.
2007-01-20 13:56:42 · answer #2 · answered by pussycat4073 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well are you prepared if this "last fling" tells you your fiance' is NOT the guy to marry? And that can happen.
Personally, I'm into the "last fling" thing. Because you say a "hard core attraction" and if that attraction is never resolved you are going to "wonder" for the rest of your life.
But I also know that this might be an "engagement breaker". But better to find out now. Right?
2007-01-20 13:57:14 · answer #3 · answered by morahastits 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact you're attracted to another man doesn't make you a bad person, IT DOES make you someone who should reconsider going through with marriage to your fiance.
It sounds to me like you're not done sewing your wild oats. If you sleep with another man, then yes you're cheating. Same thing if you're just dating the guy and sleep around. It's cheating.
Plus, who's to say sleeping with him will get it out of your system? Then what happens? Do you go ahead and get married and still sleep around? Something is obviously missing from your relationship and NOW is the time to step up and get out of the engagement or to settle down and leave other men alone.
That means communication of all sorts should be ended since you're already head over heels in lust with the other guy. If you're not willing to do that, then I highly suggest you not go forth with marriage.
Better to not have to pay for a wedding and then turn around and pay for a divorce :)
2007-01-20 14:00:55 · answer #4 · answered by mycountryfamily 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, thats a hard question to answer. i thought about it as if i was in this situation and i came up with.....nothing, lol.
the thing is....
if you have a "last minute fling" with him then you're gonna regret it after marriage, but
if you dont then you always gonna wonder, "what if"
if i told you to have a fling with him then i think that would be very disrespectful to your fiance. you should talk with you fiance and see how he feels. you may just be scared of marriage and trying to find a way out...subconciously. i'm not saying that you will never marry, maybe you're just not FULLY ready right now.
maybe you might need some reassurance that your fiance is who you want to be with for the REST of your LIFE and you might NEED this fling...I DONT KNOW....
continue to think about it before making and rash decisions and dont forget to talk to your fiance....he may be able to help!
2007-01-20 13:59:33 · answer #5 · answered by so_much_2_life! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't make you a bad person, it makes you human..but I'd also question your readiness for a marriage and monogamous relationship.
The best way to gauge your thoughts, etc is to say..what would my fiance say if i told him,"hey we are about to get married, but I want to have this one last fling before we do get married because I have a tense and strong attraction to this guy"
My guess is, he'd call off the wedding... If your not ready for a marriage then don't do it. Save your fiance and yourself the heartache
2007-01-20 13:56:41 · answer #6 · answered by enticinmel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't make you a bad person, but it does make me wonder if you are engaged to the right man. If you are already thinking of cheating maybe you ought to put the engagement on hold. Marriage is hard, and it takes work daily, you need to be soild from the start.
2007-01-20 14:01:01 · answer #7 · answered by Stephanie B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it doesn't make you a bad person. it makes you totally normal. don't trick yourself into thinking that a fling will get it out of your system. it may get this one guy out of your system, but there will be more.
if you want to have your fling, you need to tell your fiancee. maybe he wants to have one too. if you hide it it will set up a pattern of secrecy and will be a wedge between you.
are you sure you're ready to marry your fiancee? it's a big world out there...
2007-01-20 14:01:28 · answer #8 · answered by babycakes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being attracted to someone else doesn't make you a "bad" person. Acting on it would make you a cheater. Why build up that kind of karma? What goes around...comes around.
Treat others as you want to be treated. If you wouldn't want him "flinging", don't fling yourself.
2007-01-20 13:55:10 · answer #9 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simple: get it out of your system now. Even if it means giving it up. It's the only way you'll ever know. Better to take a test drive now of anothere model before you make the purchase.
P.S. Don't tell you fiance. What he doesn't know, won't hurt him. It will only if you blab.
2007-01-20 13:58:53 · answer #10 · answered by jeff b 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋