How do you deal with a family member who has cancer?

Answer 1

My mother passed away from cancer 71/2 months ago. It was very difficult for me to see my mother suffer. She was ill for 1 year and 5months before she passed away. She was only given a few months to live but with her staying so positive and fighting the disease she lived for many more months. During her illness we all had to stay strong for her, as imagine it was already difficult for her with what she was going through and if she saw us cry she would just get more depressed. Before my mother was ill she was always looking after herself eating healthy and training, but bless her once she knew she was terminal all she wanted was chocolates, cakes and goodies. What ever they ask give to them. I know it is difficult but stay strong and positive in front of the person who is ill. Be there for him/her and once you are away from that person cry all you need to cry. Good Luck and God Bless you and your family. If you need to talk do not hesitate to email me.

Answer 2

I will answer this question in two parts.

The way to emotionally deal with the news of a family member having cancer is different for everyone. Some pretend like life is no different and treat it thusly. Others think it's the certain death of said family member, so they treat it as if they are grieving. When I found out that my aunt, who was estranged for many years, had colon cancer I thought about the enormity of the news. I thought about not having my aunt in my life, and what she had meant to me in my life. With that I was able to communicate better with her and support her in whatever way I could. Understanding what someone means to you in a time of crisis, such as this is an eye opening experience.

To deal with the person who has cancer, well all you need to do is be as supportive as you can. They know they have cancer, they feel the pain, they don't need to be reminded every minute "HEY you've got CANCER!". What they need to know is that their family is there to help them when they need it and understand when they need to talk about it.

Going through Chemo Therapy is not a happy sight, nor is it easy for the patient. Don't take offense when the family member gets snippy or when they are simply too tired to talk. The chemo takes a lot out them, but always remember that they are fighting the best that they can.

In closing, everyone who goes through this will handle it differently. Cancer can go into remission, it can be eradicated, it is not hopeless. Cancer by nature is deadly, but there is always hope. That was the one thing I used to tell me aunt that she later told me kept her going, you cannot lose hope, things will get better.

Answer 3

First, you need to respect their wishes. Second, you shouldn't be the one to tell the rest of the family, unless they ask you to. I know it's tough to be in this situation. I am very much like your family member who has cancer. When I was diagnosed with colon cancer, I decided who got told when and how much they were told. I would have resented anyone who took it on their own authority to tell others what I decided not to tell. But since I really think you're trying to do what is best overall, if you have a very close relationship with this person maybe you can gently talk to them about how they would feel if the information was going the other direction, If, for example, one of the people who hasn't been told had cancer themselves and didn't want them to know. I can't promise it will make a difference, but it will have to be done gently and with love or not at all.

Answer 4

There are two different ways to read this question.

If you mean how do I relate to and support this family member, then you remember a cancer patient is first and foremost a person. Treat them that way. Do what you can to help with their physical and emotional needs as is required. The physical stuff is obvious and the emotional is just the same support that you have always been giving.

If you mean how do I help myself through these trying times, then the first step is to take care of yourself. If you don't take care of yourself, you won't be able to take care of anyone else. That anyone else refers both the to cancer patient and to every other member of the family. You do need to attend to both your physical and emotional needs here. You're allowed to be scared. You're allowed to grieve. And your certainly allowed to share both of these with everyone around you, including the cancer patient. That can only lead to conversations in which that patient feels safe enough to express their own fears and grief, and that is very much needed.

And there are support groups, both literal and virtual, to help both cancer patients and those around them. If you don't know where to find them, then ask the oncologist's office or contact your local cancer society, foundation, organization or whatever. They exist to help raise funds for cancer research and care, but they also exist as extended support systems for everyone touched by cancer.

Hugs help all around. And don't forget about laughter.

Answer 5

Take no notice of bmac - he obviously has a stone for a heart! Of course as a family member you have to deal with it. You are the one who has to be there when they frightened, weepy, angry etc. You are the one who has to strong in front of them - but showing that you really care they are so ill at the same time. My friend just found out yesterday she has breast cancer and although I have just spouted the rhetoric to you - in practice, I like you are wondering what the hell I should I or shouldnt I do. I guess all we can do is listen and make sure they know that we will always be there to take them to the hospital, to visit, to be with them at home. I dont know about your family member, but my friend will not want too much of a fuss made but I also know she does not want us to ignore it so I shall be guided by her I hope. Of course they are the ones going through the trauma but I do understand your question - we do not want to make things worse for them do we - it is scarey for us as onlookers aswell. I wish you and your family member all the best for the future. These cancer doctors and nurses in England are the best so I am confident!

Answer 6

ask yourself what you would want if you were the one suffering from cancer. probably you'd want support and the knowledge that, at any time, your family would help you and be at the end of a phone if you needed to talk. You might want someone to come to hospital appointments with you.
So put yourself in the other person's shoes and do what you feel is suitable. Also, you may want to speak to a MacMillan nurse (ask at a local hospital) as they have plenty of experience in dealing with cancer patients and their families.
Good luck, I'm sure you will find a kind and loving way to help.

Answer 7

Give them a possible cure. I try and tell everyone that has cancer to start taking emu oil gel caps. Emu oil kills cancer cells and is safe to the human host without side effects. Have a nice day.

Answer 8

My 23 year old brother past away a year ago from a very rare cancer and for 3 years he suffered. One of the hardest things you will ever do is watch someone you love suffer, but for them you have to stay strong and positive. You need to be supportive but you also need to let thme go through the emotions. Listening and being there is one of the best things you can do. I took care of my brother those years and especially at the end, but I never let him see my fear or my grief. My brother survived as along as he did because he fought like crazy and stayed postive we were there to support and love him no matter what. There were times depression, fear and anger came to be with him but those were never our emotions to him he was allowed to show them but we could not to him. If we were scarred then he became more frightened and depressed, and to survive he could fall emotionally. It is hard and scary road but for a loved ones sake you got to stay strong. If you have particular questions you can email me at [e-mail].

Answer 9

bmac it's not just the person who has cancer the whole family suffer as well,they hide there feeling from you because they don't want you to worry about things.
To tell you the truth some ppl just want things to stay the same,and they will know they have all the love and support you can give them.

Answer 10

I think you have to juts be there for them, support them anyway u can & give them love. Take them for outings, in nature etc..
Not alot more you can do.
You might like to try this organisation, Alternatives to cancer...please go to Events (see 2nd link) & look under Jenny Boys Herbalist, I believe she has a remedy herbal tincture that's prepared as a tea,which has prven to cure cancer, but conatct her for more details. (PS I am not associated with them in any way)