I'm a senior in highschool and I have never had a decent/nornal relationship with my mother. She has major mental and drug related problems and it was deemed a long time ago that she was an unsuitable mother. I don't spend much time with her because she always hurting me and lying to me. She also makes me feel incredibly guilty when I don't decide to spend time with her. What should I do?
2007-01-20 04:25:55 · 9 answers · asked by Dante Alighieri 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Confused you need to realize that your mother has problem that she must deal with in a professional setting (i.e. rehab). Since you are her daughter support is the only thing warranted from you. Her illnesses could adversely affect the both of you if you keep close to her and she isn't undergoing any treatment. As far as the guilt trip is concerned, she is simply deflecting the guilt from herself and placing it on you, know that it is not your fault. This is a tough situation, but in the end if mom doesn't want to help herself, continue to love and support her (she needs it) but do it from afar.
2007-01-20 05:41:47 · answer #1 · answered by joi_toy22 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am very sorry about this....but the bottom line is sometimes being around certain people who have major issues, like your mother can be very harmful. I suggest you dont cut off all contact with her but that you minimize the amount of time you see her----when it gets to the point that she becomes abusive or acts in some ill manner--then you need to tell her you have to go. You may also want to talk with a counselor about this and there are support groups for people related to substance abusers where you will get help from others who know what youre going through. Is there a dad in this equation? Blessings and pray for your mom.
2007-01-20 12:52:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop feeling guility..Your almost grown up now.I have a 18 yr old son.The last thing I would do is ask him to spend time with me when he had plans. Mothers want there children happy,healthy,and guilt free. So that is her problem not yours.Just try to make plans to see her short periods at a time.Sometimes that works better.Plus she made her bed so now she'll have to lay in it. This is from a x user that cleaned up 19 years ago..Something she should of done. If u ever need to talk u can always email me...Good luck
2007-01-20 12:46:55 · answer #3 · answered by sweet_thing_kay04 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your mom is high and on drugs, she doesn't deserve to spend time with you! Mental issues is another thing cause that she can not control! I'm sorry that you have to be so young and go through this! You can try to get her help but if she doesn't want the help it will not work! Maybe her actions will make you a better person! Good luck hon! You will need it!
2007-01-20 12:43:14 · answer #4 · answered by Babs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be happy you got a mother mine died when i was 18 im 58 now but i always missed not having her to talk too especially when i was 20 and i was going threw problems and she was gone and i didn't have her any more
2007-01-20 13:43:51 · answer #5 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try talking to her when she is straight. and tell her how you feel. give her support to help her quit doing whats she's doing. get her to go to counsling and go with her for support. but try to have a relationship, if it does not work , at least you know you did the best you can.. good luck ,
2007-01-20 12:42:43 · answer #6 · answered by misty blue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO you have a relationship with your dad? Maybe when she is not high or anything on drugs chat to her. Or speak to childcare helpline or social services
2007-01-20 12:29:40 · answer #7 · answered by MEHNAZ B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Visit her when you feel like it. You have your own life to live. You can love her, but you don't need to go through all that drama. Seek your own dreams and do the best you can. She has chosen her life, now choose yours.
2007-01-20 12:37:51 · answer #8 · answered by doglady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Treated ur mum as nicely as u can...
Yes it is hard but think about ur mum sacrifice when she give birth to u...
Bring him to the clinic or caunsellor if necessary...
Without her u will not see the world as u now...
2007-01-20 12:34:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋