I jusr recently had sex with my boyfriend for the 1st and second time.. and we have been going through some problems, such as stress of becoming parents, specially from my part.. i cant afford it when im only 16. he always tells me we will make it through this and everything and that i'm not... so i told him that after all this stress is gone there is no more sex for me cuz i cant make it with the stress . it is too much to keep up with. he agrees with me that it is when ever i want to have sex and that it is not neccessary.. but i know how much he loves it and he waited over a year for me to have sex with him and now im telling him no more? dont you think thats a little bit.. weird? what should i do? i really care about him alot and i want to see him happy... how can i do that when im taking this away from him?? i need your help... what should i do?
2007-01-20 04:21:11 · 29 answers · asked by Jessie 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
A. you are too young, think about what college ur going to & what career path you want to take, not how you will pay for a child
B. it is not hard to please a man, it takes a long time for a woman to figure out what her body needs sexually (not the same for every woman) and even longer to be able to communicate that to her lover- it took me over 10 years because I thought my part was to pleasure him, he never explored my body. a young guy will NOT be thinking of how to please you, that I can guarantee! it was all about 5 minutes, right? & I bet u didn't have an orgasm? honey, wait, it gets better with age, knowledge, and exploration.
C. sexual diseases are RISING, especially with inexperienced teens thinking it won't happen to them this one time... ALWAYS USE A CONDOM!!! Herpes can be spread even with use of a condom, and most people DONT know they have it, that's why it is spreading so quickly, and there is no cure.
D. surprise to all of you suggesting oral sex, HIV and herpes can spread this way too! That to me, would be more stressful than worrying about having a baby at 16! look into taking the vaccination to prevent HPV, it's new for women under 25, RESEARCH IT!!! What you do now, determines your health in 10 - 20 years and your fertility in years to come... you don't want to increase your chances of cancer by being promiscuous, even if it's your bf...
E. most parents don't discuss the reality & consequences of sex, so do go to a clinic if you are going to continue having sex to have your questions answered, unless you feel comfortable talking to your parents or an older siblilng.
F. if he waits until you are ready, after graduating, maybe after college, MARRY him! imagine how beautiful it would be if you both waited and explored each other when you are more mature???
G. personal note, I had a bf at 16 & he pretended to be patient, then raped me when HE was ready. don't put yourself in that situation. sex is important in a relationship, but only when ur BOTH happy about it. work on the compatibility, communication, goals, finances, education, & all other important aspects of a relationship before perfecting the sex.
GOOD LUCK! Trust in God and you will make the right decision, even in your mistakes, God will pick you up and guide you back to the rigth path, and ensure you learn from your mistakes.
2007-01-20 05:25:57 · answer #1 · answered by drive fast, take chances! 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2015-09-25 02:11:31 · answer #2 · answered by Kerri 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's getting pregnant you're worried about, there are many ways to keep that from happening. Go to Planned Parenthood.
But if you don't want to have sex, that's okay too. But he'll probably want to know under what circumstances you would want to (when you turn 18? With a different boyfriend?).
2007-01-20 04:27:22 · answer #3 · answered by sarcastro1976 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A sexual relationship is new to you and you are bound to have some doubts and concerns after taking such a big step in your life and in your relationship with your boyfriend.
It would seem that, at present, your main concern is the possibility of getting pregnant, which is overriding any other concerns you may have. You need to get advice together on effective methods of contraception to ensure that you don't get pregnant and that you are not at risk from STDs and, for your own peace of mind, I would suggest that you do refrain from sex until you have done this. For your relationship to survive, it is vital that you both keep communicating with one another. When tbis issue is resolved the way forward for you both should be much clearer.
Good luck!
2007-01-20 04:30:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nobody said you had to be ready at 16. If you're not ready, then don't do it. You have to accept the fact that your boyfriend may not ever understand. It's your decision, but if you decide to continue having sex, then please get on birth control and make sure your partner always wears a condom. You both are way too young to take on the weight of providing for another human life.
2007-01-20 04:30:11 · answer #5 · answered by Butterfly 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he agrees with you and he can wait, wait don't worry or stress out over this. It sounds like you have enough stress in your life as is. You 'are' to young to be thinking about sex anyway, when and if you do, please use protection, don't add the responsibility of a child to your already present stress.
Don't worry now, do for yourself what you need to do to get through this. Even if you need to get some counseling for now, it does help just to talk. With the sex, if you could handle pleasing him with oral sex maybe give that a try, if not just explain to him he'll just have to wait untill your ready.
2007-01-20 05:06:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing, I think you should do is read the question you wrote and think about it. When I read it, something you wrote was intriguing...you said he waiting a whole year to have sex with you...i dont think that is right. People wait until they get married to have sex. If having sex is always in the back of your mind, then this relationship is not goin to work out. I'm sorry, I know you love him, but its not going to work out.
2007-01-20 04:34:29 · answer #7 · answered by shootdadeputy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he really loves you then he can wait!!! If he can't wait and look for a other girl just to have sex with then forget him-i know it will be hard for you to loose your boyfriend then but belive me if you don't feel right then there is no point doing it cause he wants to.Both of you need to want it. Don't do it with him cause you don't wanna loose him.There will be a guy out there who understand you and can wait that you are ready!!!!
2007-01-20 04:28:37 · answer #8 · answered by hunnybunny3und2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He shouldn't pressure you into doing anything that you don't want to do, especially if he really loves you. Your young, don't worry about sex....you have a lot of time after you graduate to think about it. Just worry about school. Having sex comes with consequences and you know that. If he can't wait or understand, then move on and leave him alone. But maybe he is going to wait. You never know. Young guys these days can't though. You just have to use your instincts.
2007-01-20 04:29:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
First, it sounds like you are afraid of disappointing him. Well dear, if he truly cares for you, he will respect your wishes and not try to force you to do something you don't want to. If you do want to continue without the stress of becoming a parent I would highly suggest some sort of contraceptive. Schools usually can give you counseling on these matters, and your local planned parenthood offers free condoms and consultations for birth control. Also, the local health department is open and offers similar services for free. Be safe whatever you do, there is no need to do anything you don't want to.
2007-01-20 04:34:46 · answer #10 · answered by Lynz 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋