Is it wrong for parents to spank their kids as a way of disciplining?

Question

I'm pretty sure California is trying to make this illegal and I'm just wondering about other people's opinions on it.

Just to clear up the details - I'm not a parent wondering about my own kids, I'm just curious.

Answer 1

Personally, I don't think there is anything wrong with spanking your children; that being said, there is also a HUGE difference between spanking your child and abusing them.

You NEVER spank your child out of anger, or when you're angry and can't control yourself. That is where the line is drawn.

Look at how society has changed since it was ruled that spanking your children is considered abuse. We now have more children than ever that simply do not listen, that are completely out of control, and more and more parents that simply just don't know how to control their own kids.

I was spanked when I was a child -- and yes, I got some really good beatings and backhands when I mouthed off or swore. Every time I was hit, it was because I'd done something wrong, and that one swat, that one slap was the determining factor that pushed into my mind that I had done wrong.

I'm not messed up now, I don't resent my parents for it -- I actually thank them, and yes, I probably will follow that example and use it as a way of punishing my children when they do wrong -- But only when it's deserved. You don't spank for no reason.... I think spanking is alright, only when deserved.

Answer 2

No I don't think it's wrong I was spank ,when I was young and I turn out to be a good person...But I don't think you should bit him or her up like your going to kill the kid...I mean every child is different my mother use look at my brother and he would cry and he new that what he was doing was wrong so it depends on the child all yeah and you should be in control if your so mad then you should leave the room or the place and cool down and then you can just talk and if you do spank you should always ask your child if he or she knows why he is getting spank..hope I helped

Answer 3

Wow after that last answer I didn't know you'd have time to read mine.

I am a mother of four all under 7. I was mentally and physically abused as a child and beaten with everything around for some of the stupidist things like the remote was missing. I was a good kid, good grades, enjoyed learning and was never praised for anything. Basicly just beaten for everything, I had 5 brothers and sisters so whoever did something and nobody gave in it was them everyone got it. I believe that is wrong. I still have fear because of it and it is hard to think about it or talk about it.

I do spank my children though. I don't beat them or threaten to hit them, smack them about the head, punch them etc..I believe it is a form of correction if used correctly works. It is only used in serious conditions or for repeated rebellion or all else has failed. But if I do, do it I send my child to his/her room and we both have a breather to calm down. Then I go in explain to my child why she/he is getting a spanking and they understand and I do it. Not to any extreme though as far as leaving marks. It is done in a seperate room because it is noyone else's business and with my sensitive child I could just tap him and he gets the point and my strong-willed child who may need more than that, but it works. Then I let them have time to think about it and we talk agian. We go through the same thing whenever they do something wrong the only thing that may be different is the form of punishment. ALSO MY HUSBAND AND I ARE IN AGREEMENT ON THIS WHICH IS NEEDED. You cant have a mother that does nothing and a father that does everything or the other way around or whatever way it could be, both parents need to provide discpline in the same manner.

My children are respectful, obediant and always get complimented on there behavior, espessially when we are out.

Answer 4

Before answering this question I would suggest that you read or re-read all the comments and note those who said they were spanked and think that spanking is OK because it seems that those who agree to spanking have an angry tone which I could argue is a result of their being spanked and it is the result of anger that they then spank.

You can call it spanking all you want but it is still hitting. And for everyone who says that it's ok as long as it doesn't get out of control... I think that when you resort to hitting you have lost control.

Have you ever thought about the fact that you are a giant compared to your 3 year old? You are probably 3 feet taller and 100 lbs (or more) heavier. You don't need to hit them to get them to listen to you.

Oh and as for your hitting your child being a way to ensure they don't do drugs or join a gang. LOL, you teach them not to respect a persons body then want them to respect themselves and I'd be williing to bet that most gang members parents did spank them.

Answer 5

I think kids today need more discipline. I do not use spanking as a form of dicipline unless they do something REALLY bad. Usually I just look them in the eye and say NO and that's all they need. But, if they are pulling on an electrical outlet or something of that nature, a good slap on the hand will not hurt them. Kids today get away with anything.

Answer 6

I was raised in a strict house and I knew that if I disobeyed, the consequences would include a spanking. My husband used to have to go cut a switch from a tree for his spankings. We are both well adjusted, non violent, law abiding adults who love our parents and are thankful that they loved us enough to discipline us. I think there is a HUGE misconception that spanking equals a beating. A spanking should only be one or two swats on the rear. Should "beatings" be outlawed? Of course! Infact it's already unlawful to beat a child, but parents who spank approprietly are doing the rest of society a favor by teaching children that there are somethings that are just not allowed. Spanking should be reserved for serious offenses. We learned of a good rule years ago. called "The Three D's":
Disrespect
Disobedience
Dishonesty
These are three behaviors that should never be allowed in a child. Children who are not disciplined for these things grow up to be selfish, dishonest adults who can't get along with other people and rebel against authority, even the authority of the law. I see children every day who are being "loved" to death. They are allowed to talk back to and even hit their parents, scream when they don't get their way and lie and put blame on others, never accepting responsibility for their own actions. A lot of parents today have a notion that if they just love a child enough these problems will go away, but they don't go away... they get worse. Parents need to love their children enough to not allow them to grow up to be a meanace to society. Spanking should be something that is private and in the home and the government would be making a huge mistake by taking this God given responsibility away from parents.

Answer 7

I think there is spanking, and there is SPANKING. I was spanked as a child, but never hard, and never when my parents were out of control. I grew up perfectly fine and wasn't really spanked after the age of 12 as far as I remember.

I do not believe in spanking though, if it is the main form of punishment, if it is used to make the child fear you, if it uses excessive force or leaves marks, or if it is done while in a state of anger.

We could all have used a nice swat when we were kids once in awhile :P

Answer 8

It's illegal in all 50 states I think because the idiot CPS morons are saying it's child abuse. I got spanked, smacked across the mouth on numerous occasions, slammed onto my hands and knees on the floor at 14, smacked across the face, and backhanded across the mouth and head. Most of the time I'd done nothing wrong. I told CPS and they didn't believe a damn word I said. But now if you cry that you've been spanked oh it's automatically illegal providing the adults will even listen to a kid at all which they hardly ever do.

Answer 9

As a teacher who gets sent most of the children who are misbehaving, I think that a few spankings would straighten a lot of these kids out. I spend about 3 hours out of my day disciplining disrespectful and disobedient children that aren't even on my caseload. And most of the time it's because their crappy parents will not discipline these children.

Answer 10

OK i have a degree in child development and have worked with small children(birth to 5years) for 15 years and i am also a mother of 2 kids. by the time most children are close to 1 years old they start knowing right from wrong i have had children who are 10 months old who have hit me when mad i put them down and tell them no hitting i don't like it. it may happen again 2 or more times but then after they connect the fact that hitting means getting put down they stop the behavior it is human nature to strive for what is pleasurable so when children even small children have something they don't like happen to them they do what it takes to make sure that it does not happen again ,so if i like being carried i don't hit then they carry me and as they get older they understand this concept more and more. what they don't understand is this constant talking most parents do to try and reason with a 2 year old this does not mean you should not try to explain to them what they are doing is wrong but to many parents they do a lot of talking above their child's head with the idea one day they will get it and until then its just them being 2 or exploring...wrong! i feel spanking is the last resort when all else fails or when the situation is very serious when my daughter pulled from my hand in a parking lot at the mall i spanked her why because i wanted her to connect the jolt of a spanking with how much i meant do not run from me in a parking lot!! yes i told her why and i explained to her what could happen but what children at 2 and a half do not understand is the finality of death or danger so if they have a unpleasant experiences to help them with the memory a spanking not a beating! then like humans do they seek pleasure and do the behavior that will bring it so they do not repeat what brought on the unpleasantness yes time outs and sitting can have the same effect but for some children this is not something that is unpleasant so after trying everything else then sometimes you need to give them a stronger reason to not repeat the behavior and i can tell you my daughter never let go again and to me weather she does it because she is afraid i will hit her or not does not really matter to me she is safe and will not be getting hit by a car the first time i reach in my purse for my keys and need her to stand by me. as i was growing up i had a level of fear for my parents not terror but a healthy amount of respect based on the knowledge that if i crossed the line a spanking would happen they never beat me they never left marks but they did talk to me and when all else failed they did spank me and so i knew that at some point if i choose to keep pushing the line then i would be made to be accountable, and to this day i love and respect both my parents and at 31 when my mom yells my name i get my butt up and go to her because i respect her! And as for the police comment the truth is like parents they will pull you over and talk to you but if you become violent ,belligerent or verbally abusive they will also drag your but out of the car throw you on the ground or push you up against a wall pin your hands behind your back and put you in jail so they to will also use physical force and have the permission to use it if and when it is necessary! so the world does not all ways just talk to you!