How do you get control of an "out if control teeneager" ?

Question

16 yo daughter who runs away no respect for rules

Answer 1

First and foremost, remember you are the parent! before you dismiss the thought of boot camp or something of the sort, take time to do the research. Here's some great info.

http://www.tpsrep.com/camps.htm
Boot Camps and Military Schools

Boot Camps
The term “Boot Camp” can mean anything from a real estate boot camp to a defiant teen boot camp. If you are reading this site you are evidently interested in finding help for a troubled adolescent. On television, like most everything on television, the boot camps produce immediate results. In the real world it takes a little more time to change behavior that a child has been cultivating for many years. It is only logical that long-term changes are going to take more time. The majority of the programs we work with are approximately one year in length. The one-year time frame, while not a magical number, seems to be about the average time it takes help a child make sufficient changes.

Military Boarding Schools
In the past, a “military school” was the term used to describe a place where kids went who couldn't seem to make it in a regular school setting. Today a military school is a privilege to attend and can only be accessed by students who have a desire to excel. The potential student must come with a good report card and references from their previous teachers. This is not an appropriate fit for a teen that is defiant and unruly. If the parents are able to convince the military school to take their child, and the child decides to act out, they could be expelled. When a child is asked to leave a military school there is no refund. This might be a substantial amount of money since most military schools require tuition paid for the semester in advance.

Wilderness Programs
The term “wilderness program” can refer to several types of programs. If you are seeking help for a defiant and out-of-control teen, a wilderness program uses behavior modification with a component of the program held outdoors.

Some placement agencies or educational consultants will send a child to a wilderness program before the child goes to a boarding school. They believe that if the child has a high-impact experience they might be more willing to settle down and focus on improving themselves in the new boarding school.

There are some well-established wilderness experience programs that are accident-free and have been around for many years. In contrast there are also some that have not been so safe and effective. It is good when looking into an outdoor program to ask specifically about any problems, accidents, or even deaths they might have had. Some states have increased the regulations associated with this type of placement to assure that the child will have adequate food, shelter, and overall safety while they are in the care of a school or program. However, it is the ultimate responsibility of the parent to verify the safety and track record of any potential placement option they are considering.

Wilderness Adventure Programs and Teen Summer Programs
These programs can refer to a program similar to the one described previously or it could be an option for someone looking to give a well-behaved teen an experience in the outdoors. If it is a summer adventure for a well-behaved teen they typically won't want a defiant teen to come along. The other problem is that an adolescent with behavior problems generally will refuse to go anywhere the parent sends them even if it is for fun. The majority of teens we deal with are not going to benefit very much from a wilderness adventure.

Camps for Troubled Teens
While searching for help for defiant children the phrase “camp for troubled teen” can mean several things. The word “camp” would typically indicate that some kind of outdoor or wilderness experience is what is being sought. Camp could also mean the parent is looking for a boot camp for a defiant teen. In reality the best option may be a traditional boarding school or a residential treatment center. Sometimes parents searching for help are not exactly sure what they are looking for. We can help evaluate the needs of your child to determine what may be the best option for your family. We will help you explore your options whether you are looking for a boot camp, wilderness experience, or just some time away from your teen.

Don't Give Up. There is Hope.
We at Teen Options are here to help you find the most appropriate placement for your child; we have many schools to choose from. We also have a financial department to help you research what options will work best for you. Our programs boast in the neighborhood of an 85% success rate at helping troubled youth get straightened out. If your child has just started down the path of negative behavior, or if he or she has been on the wrong course for a long time, give us a call. Don't hesitate if your life is miserable trying to decide what to do. You are not alone. We can help.

http://www.troubledteensinfo.com/

Need help with a troubled teenager? We provide parents with information and resources to help their troubled teen. As well as great information and articles, you can create a free account and get advice from our counsellors and other parents. If you need help with your troubled teenager and you can't find the information you are looking for, please contact us. Thanks for visting our site.

Troubled Teens Home
Troubled Teenagers Are you at odds with you teen? Have you run out of ideas? Are you scared that you teenager is running out of control? We are here to help.
This site is dedicated to providing parents with the best articles and advice on dealing with their problem teenagers. The site covers a diverse number of relevant subjects on teenage behaviour and parenting strategies to help others cope with with defiant teens.

Spotting troubled teenage behavior may be tricky, but check out our articles on the signs of problem teenage behavior for help with identitifying what problems you son or daughter might be facing.

We also take a careful look at teenage substance abuse and addiction. Articles on specific substances and their particular affects on teenagers are discussed - as are common solutions, such as intervention.

Hostile teenage behavior is another common problem facing parents (and other teens) today. On this site you will find articles which will help you understand self-destructive behavior and / or violence.

With the help of our professinal contributors, we have recently developed a section on mental disorders your teenager may be suffering from... ADHD and eating orders have been given special attention.

Rest assured - if you’re looking for parenting advice then you’ve come to the right place. Quite a number of the articles are devoted to useful parenting strategies and tips for dealing with unruly teens. Discipline, setting rules, utilizing penalties, and obedience are just some of the subjects covered. Be sure to bookmark our site.

If this is your first time at the site, take a look around with an open mind and heart, and partake in the rich treasure trove of information that can prove useful for you and your teen. The sections below should prove to be a useful starting point:


Overview / Editorial ( 2 items )
At adolescence, your teenager is in a quest of independence - it's definitely a time of change, yet as a parent how may you know if teenagers actions are normal or actually calls for concern?

Definitions ( 3 items )
With a myriad of personalities out there, how can one really tell if their teen is outwardly seeking help through his actions? Or maybe he/she is simply just a bit different?

What is normal behaviour? ( 5 items )
Adolescence is a confusing stage for teenagers, yet it’s confusing for parents as well. Your adolescents may be temperamental and mixed up. It’s definitely a time of change, yet as a parent how may you know if your teenager’s actions are normal or actually calls for your concern? What is normal?


http://www.teenswithproblems.com/
Is your Teen having
MAJOR PROBLEMS?

If your answer is

There is help for you!
This web site offers you some solutions and guidelines on how to deal with an adolescent who is having severe problems, including those diagnosed with attention deficit disorder (ADD), attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), oppositional defiant disorder (ODD), conduct disorder and bipolar disorder.

If your child is taking prescription drugs, please make sure to visit our new page, Help! I'm Addicted to Adderall

We discuss various parenting strategies to help discover your teen's real problems, suggest ideas on creating a better family structure, and provide information regarding Residential Treatment using the Behavior Modification Approach for your child. We have even provided instructions and a blank form for you to print so that you may write a Home Rules Contract for your family.

Check out our listing of recommended books on the Parent Resources page for more information on dealing with your troubled teen. In particular, parents considering putting their child on medication should make sure to check out the excellent new book by Dr. Lawrence Diller, Should I Medicate My Child?

Choose from one of the many OPTIONS below, which will help you determine what type of help your child may need as well as provide you with much information on parenting strategies and programs for your child.

Does My Teen Need Help?
An interactive questionnaire to help you determine how serious your child's problems really are and to help you determine if your child might benefit from more intensive therapy, such as residential treatment.
http://www.bootcampsforteens.com/

Welcome to Boot Camps For Teens

If you are considering a boot camp for your child, spend a few minutes on our site. We think you will be glad you did.
New School for Troubled Teen girls

A new school for girls 12-17 is now open in Kansas. The school is called Meadowlark Academy, it is unique in that it offers a dog therapy program while using a positive peer culture to help a troubled teen.

24 Hour Hotline [phone]
Brat Camp

The ABC series featuring brat camps has generated a lot of interest in wilderness style programs. The program presented on television followed several defiant youth as they dealt with issues and problems they were struggling with. The Brat Camp type of program falls under what may typically be classified as a wilderness style program. These programs are named such because the experience takes place in remote locations without any of the creature comforts that children of today take for granted. The Brat Camp series provided an opportunity for parents to see that they are not alone, that there are others who struggle dealing with the problems associated with a troubled teen, and that there is help.

The wilderness style program may or may not be the best option for your child, if you are looking for help give us a call we will explore some of the options that are available to you.

Boot Camps

Boot camps come in many shapes and types. If you are looking for a boot camp for a defiant child you have probably already discovered that. We work with camps that will take a defiant youth, enter them in a boot camp and follow the camp with a structured military style environment. The best results for these types of programs are accomplished when the child remains in the camp for about one year. Short-term boot camps are a wake-up call but don’t seem to produce long-lasting results. It is usually a waste of time and money to seek a short-term camp of less than a year.

Answer 2

Tough love.

Sad to say but disrespect doesn't usually happen over night. It usually starts when parents think they are supposed to be their kids' friends, rather than their parents. If that is the case, you have to completely overhaul how you treat your daughter. Come up with rules -- rational rules -- and sit down with her and tell her what those rules are. Tell her what the consequences are. Be consistent in the application of consequences to failure and reward her when she succeeds. If she refuses, absolutely refuses to play by reasonable rules, then remove all of her belongings -- including her door -- from her room and haul her butt into counseling. If she refuses that, then there is really not much you can do other than show her the door. You cannot have your child in your home refusing to play by the rules.

However, if this is new behavior -- has she recently gotten involved with the wrong crowd and/or with drugs? If drugs are involved, then you should already be seeking professional help because it's not going to get better on its own.

Answer 3

I like the first suggestion. I never ran away, but I did get into drugs and ignore my curfew. My parents did nothing. I had to learn from my own mistakes. Now I am a drug-free, incredibly responsible mother. I don't suggest this, as my mother and I have a horrid relationship. Your kid may not end up learning anything, and spend the rest of their lives on the street or in jail. So do something! But I think the first suggestion would have worked for me!

Answer 4

i am 16 and i would still follow my mother just because i was taught to follow people that are good and dont fall in to peer presusre like your daughter i think the way she is going is to be sex, alcohal, drugs, selling her self to make money. if you are giving her money to buy her own clothes, food and a cell phone you need to give her some freedom but giving her a nuf money to buy everything she needs makes it so she doesnt depend on you anymore try taking her cell phone a way teens now a days find that that is the number one thing that they need.
since your child is getting older she is at the age that it would be hard for her to look up to you and start following rules.
if you have anymore kids try to give them less freedom and show that they need you.
pay attention because kids at my school are usally the bad kids because their parents dont give enough attention to them as they were younger so they got it from friends who make bad desisions
hope this helped

Answer 5

send her to boot camp, teen survival camp or military school

as a parent this might sound harsh but, if you don't do something all out of control teens crash at some point... be it drugs, death or disease or jail.

they will do something along the line & you will not be able to protect them..... they need to learn to protect themselves

you have to take a more aggressive approach.... they may hate it in the begining but when it is all over they will really, really apprecatie that you did it. they will understand that it was a tough desision to make & apologize for being so rude to you in the begining.

hope this helps,

SS

Answer 6

She has no respect for you. Why? If you can answer this honestly, then maybe you can talk to her.

1. Has she seen you with boyfriend/girlfriend in the house?

2. Are you divorced? If you are she is angry with you and her dad/mom.

3. Teenagers do not care for extra step parents or extra boyfriends and girlfriends.

They don't think you care - so they don't care.

Answer 7

Thru fair dialogue. Try to reach her and to analize the problem with her thru her active help. If you are fair to her and attract her into a warm dialogue where your reasons are logically and emotionally strong and fair

then the conflict can be solved.

Answer 8

You start shen she is 16 MONTHS old with discipline and setting rules...it is too late when she is 16 YEARS old to go back and do what SHOULD have been don in the beginning.

Answer 9

Family Counseling, your church may be able to help and also even your employer may have benefits that can assist with this as well. You should also be able to find help through local government outreach programs and social services.

Answer 10

change the locks on all the doors

Son ran away once- came back to all the locks changed and his belongings in boxes
he was shocked..... he didnt try that stunt again

Its called .........tough love
Dont let the kid get the upper hand in the situation or they will not respect you

Answer 11

Hire a psychiatrist. Inform them in detail of all of the problems, and remind her often how much you care about her, and worry about her.