Lack of confidence and feeling insecure ?

Question

Ive being doing some self esteem tests on the web and it would seem that my self esteem and confidence is very low and im really insecure , this is wierd because i thought i was confident but i guess im not .... also lately im feeling very bad at interactions with real people im shaking and i cant talk propely im geting worse i reconise this and i need to get it sorted out because im not even confident at calling up about a job i mean for a brief time i was superconfident and people liked me alot and wanted to hang around me because i was apparently really funny and also good at chating to woman i dident care about rejection etc but lately they think im very uptight and thats the insecurity etc . Im curious on if any of you guys / girls have being througth similar experiances and how did you fix them i mean ive always needed some work in the confidence area but its going worse so i need to fix now .Im fine obviously over the net so i can be me but in real im geting bad .

Im might be depressed that would explain the lack of interest in nobbin , see my other questions .

Apparently their are some dorks trying to be funny .

For the record I dont do drugs heck i dont drink anymore since like 6 months ago and i only drank on weekends then .

Answer 1

You sound like you're going through a period of depression with anxious features. The shaking and difficulty speaking you mention when talking to others implies you are having a mild anxiety attack. Low self esteem is a common symptom of depression. Perhaps something has gone wrong in your life recently? I agree that you need to seek help. About 1 in 3 people have mood disorders and they seldom get better if ignored. Speak to your doctor about it. S/he will probably give you some medication to improve your general mood. This will help you feel strong enough to change your life and get well. Make sure you are put on the waiting list to see a psychologist for some therapy. The good news is that with proper medical and psychological help, you'll start to feel better relatively quickly. If you ever feel really bad, you can always e-mail the Samaritans. They are very good.

Answer 2

You present sufficient symptoms that I suspect you need some counseling. I could suggest you forget all these concerns and start living, but I am not sure that would help you. Contrary to your suspicion that others do not feel inferior, almost everyone does to some extent. Most do not dwell on it. But there is fairly good indication by how people act that almost everyone feels the kinds of things you do. Even popular people have their moments, or one would not see a suicide notice among them from time to time. One has to accept that you are not perfect. One has to accept you will not be liked by everyone. Just come to realize it only takes one friend to make all the difference. Are you a friend to someone. Have you made a batch of cookies and left them for someone you want to get to know better with a note, like I's like to be your friend are you interested? Things will take off from there. Be a friend and others will want you as a friend. Look at yourself and figure what talent you have. Everyone has a talent. Some draw, some sing, some act or do sports. Then go do that talent with others who have the same talent. That will give you a peer group, a place to set down with at lunch ect. You are 24. Surely there is somewhere in your community where you can do some service. Do you attend church? If not consider doing so. They always need people to work in the soup kitchen or the clothing exchange. Volunteer. If you do you will again gain friends and they will want you as a friend. Get out, do not stay home on the computer. It is the worst nightmare for this generation. It is fine for a small amount of time a day, but really you are isolated in front of a computer. By getting out, you make connections which will help you find your true self worth. If counseling is not needed after you try some of these suggestions you will be money ahead and friends will be your sounding board instead. Good Luck on a wonderful life. You deserve it.

Answer 3

you sound like a logical, intelligent,straight forward guy, I donot think ur depressed & u definitely are not a mess!! don't start all that neagtive talk people!
I don't know but from your post it seems you're concentrating on it too much, thinking about it too much. Think back to the time you were confident & bring back the same feelings. Affirmations are very powerful & if done over time will make chnages. You could try "I love & approve of myself" (exactly as I am now) or I am confident. Don't worry about it too much, others are just as nervous when they meet people or are nervous calling employers, just think u r talking to another human being who has the same fears. If some employers are unhelpful or cold, you don't want to work for them anyways.
Don't worry what others think, it's more important what u think. If you're a good person, are respectful & have honour & dignity & itegrity,& doing ur best which I'm sure u r, then u know who u r in urself & in ur conscience.
I have recently began to take back my confidence & I realized it's becuase I am following my conscience, doing what is right in the eyes of God that gives me confidence becuase I know I'm doing the right thing.
Do what u think is right, if u r not sure about sth don't do it or find out more info & if u make a mistake learn & move on.
I once read in one of Isabelle Allende's books, always remeber, others are more afraid than you & i think it's really true.
Give urslef a break, u r fine & don't worry be happy!
with luv

Answer 4

I know how you feel and take heart in the fact that you can resolve this situation.It sounds to me that you are going through a depression of some sort, has anything really traumatizing happened recently because your symptoms are usually brought on by a sad event like losing a loved one, or a good job,as in my case.Talking is very helpful it will help you get to the root of how you are feeling.Once you know what is making you feel this way you can then start to work on it.What helps for me is knowing that i have to look after myself because no one else will.I think it would also be a good idea to sit down and write a list of all the thing that are good about you and all the things you enjoy doing and make you smile and then when you wake up in the morning read this list and set about doing one thing each day that makes you smile !!!.

Good luck

Answer 5

The first step to building confidence, in my opinion, is finding out what you truly want. Over the next week, whenever you feel down, depressed, insecure, or frustrated, start making a list of all the things you want. They can be little things, like, "I want a glass of water" or big things, like "I want to ride around the entire world in a hot air baloon." Just write down everything and don't censor yourself. Then after a week, and even throughout the week, look at the list and decide which of those things you can do something about. Then start doing it! Some of the things might require little steps first, but if you really want it, then you can do it. As you start seeing that you can do things that make you happy, your confidence will grow!

This may seem kind of roundabout and like it won't immediately solve your problmes, but really it's one of the best things you can do. It's not really a quick fix, but it will have lifelong results. Good luck!

Answer 6

Yes, I am pretty much experiencing similar to this too. Previously I was extremely confident, but have recently lost a lot of confidence from moving 10,000 miles from UK to Australia.

I wonder if because you have started analysing yourself a little deeper, that you have started to give yourself a hard time. I wonder if when you were extremely confident and had high esteem whether you carried out such analysis of yourself, maybe you just got on with life and didn't analyse yourself.

I think these self-esteem tests on the web havn't been very helpful. Please try to give yourself an easier time.

Warmth and Smiles.

Answer 7

i really wouldn't take a self esteem test on the net to seriously most stuff like that are set up to make you feel low so that you will register for some programme that will help you feel better. as for feeling shaky when interacting with other people we all go though this at some stage of our lives and can be triggered by anything depression,rejection,or just feeling out of touch with the world.you say that alot of people liked hanging round with you I guess that these people are no longer there to offer you any kind of support .. if they are and there is one of them that you are close enough to that you feel you could open up to them it may help or even try and enrol in a course that you may enjoy that way you will help build up your confidants again ...
i hope you are able to do this good luck ..

Answer 8

I know what you mean. I was a very late starter regarding relationships because of it.

I think the Internet is a help, but it should be used to develop relationships, rather than always keeping people at the other end of a keyboard. Remember, a hell of a lot of people have low self esteem but don't realise they aren't the only ones!

Answer 9

well you certainly are quite the mess aren't you!? I think it is fantastic that you got to have that brief time with confidence! Did you like that feeling? Tons of people fake and act like they are confident but are really terrified deep down! Some girls feel really fat in bathing suits but pretend they feel fine and no one ever knows! also confidence really does help get us girls' attention! My friend has the same problem but we just try to help her. it is hard though, because she dwells on the same stuff and in her mind she makes it 10 times as bad. be sure what you are think is the reall deal and you aren't just exaggerating the truth. Try feeling what you felt before, because you know you can! you can feel worry free and be happy again! good luck!

Answer 10

Im feeling a bit like you are. I think if you are a confident person that remains but for me it was that people always thought of me as someone confident and intelligent or stuck up bcos of that, but they never saw me for me really. They just thought shes all that, and theres nothing more to her. And for me it wasnt the case, i feel theres alot more to life that i dont understand. I have no problem with ppl judging me thats their own thing but i feel insecure bcos i was always let down by people close to me and i find it hard to reattach myself to others, or choose not to bcos it later saves the rejection. Stuff like this needs time and thinking. But i do hope that you get thru it. Sumtyms its easier to be around people who arent the same as you bcos then they dont have such big expectations of you.