I have a 5 yr old. Her and my fiance and constantally butting heads. My daughter is very disrepectful, she lies, and she just won't do what i say. i've tried spanking(she laughs), took all of her toys out of her room, and took away all her privleges(tv,going outside,etc), and it doesn't seem to work? any ideas to help me. i want her not to lie and mouth off i am getting really sick of it. if someone has any advice i am very receptive to all that i can get!
2007-01-20 03:12:00 · 15 answers · asked by bubbieandbella 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
What works for us:
1. we praise the good moments and try to ignore the bad (within reason). Ignoring the bad means= a. no extra attention given at the moment. b. say in a very 'matter of fact' tone.. "no, dear", or "this is your first warning", or "are you looking to earn a consequence", "its your choice."
2. Total of '3' consequences max. / when #3 is given state what privilege is to be taken away. '5 min.time out', or 'no TV', or 'no barbie for 1 hr', has to be something she will miss, to be affective.
and be sure to follow through. (it gets easier and less frequent w/ time as she will come to realize you mean business.)
3. The lies and butting heads. "Competing for Attention", first does she understand the dangers involved with tell a lie. Try to get to the bottom of whats going on that she is lying. Make it clear she is expected to tell the truth. Give her an extra hug, and have her sit close until she tells the truth, even if she has to whisper it in your ear. Again offer praises for good behavior.
Finally remember patience, patience, patience.. and keep trying until you find what works best for you guys. Check out links, search 'discipline', 'lying'.
2007-01-20 06:10:50 · answer #1 · answered by Joy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She and your fiance? It's simple. Is he her father? If he's not, she's old enough to know it.
And she's acting like that to get back at you for having someone else besides her in your life.
She's laughing at the spanking and the punishments because even if you're punishing her, you're giving her the attention she's craving. She wants your attention and she'll do anything she can to get it, whether it's bad attention or good attention. It's still your notice, and that's what she wants. She sees your fiance replacing her in your heart.
Instead of so much punishment, find a time when you can sit quietly with her and talk with her and see if you can find out what's bothering her.
And don't be so quick to brand her as a liar. Most children that age have a fantasy life, but sometimes their "lies" turn out to have a lot of truth in them. And if the "lies" are concerning your fiance, maybe he's up to something he shouldn't be doing and it's making her feel uncomfortable or afraid...and by calling her a liar, you're picking him over her, and she's acting out.
If nothing else, make some time just for her. No fiance, no other family members, just mommy and daughter time. Go to the zoo, the beauty shop for manicures, shopping, the movies. Just you and her, one on one.
She's not a bad little girl. She's just a troubled one.
And as for she and your fiance "butting heads", why on earth is he fighting with a five-year-old?
2007-01-20 03:21:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if your getting married again then it's very hard for her! dont worry it is only a stage in here life, it can last up to a year + but it will be ok. WHAT EVER YOU DO!!!!! Dont punish her badly like slap her ground her and so forth. This will cause her to stay in this little act of hers - she will almost always be mad at you and your fiance. So when she does something wronge just take "ONE" thing she plays with and loves everyday and tell her she cant have it back for a day or two, and during that time make sure she knows what she did wrong
But she needs to know that you love her! take her to a movie every other week, make her a special meal - but most importantily tell her you love her!, dont spend most your time with your fiance, you both need to spend time with your 5 yr old so the lil one can get use to her being around. make sure she can tell you everything good or bad - but that can only happen if she trust you! so hang around her and do somethings she like :)
2007-01-20 03:24:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Watch Supernanny!!!!! Spanking is not good. Give her a time out when she acts out...she probably wont stay there long but keeping bringing her back to her place of time out. Be consistent...she's 5 so she has to sit for 5 min...this will take a lot of work but once she knows you mean business...she;s not going to want to sit in the time out
2007-01-20 04:23:24 · answer #4 · answered by Alapooh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow thats a big problem! Ok, well there is a show on Fox (a channel) It is called Nanny 911. Its about how different families who have crazy kids that yell at them and disobey them get nannies which put up rules and it teaches them that you should listen to your parents and elderlies. So watch nanny 911 with your child. E-mail me and tell me how it goes. I hope I helped - Shelly
2007-01-20 03:18:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I remember my son acting that way when he was around that age. Do you watch Supernanny at all? My husband and I watch it all the time and she is very good at dealing with misbehaved children. I believe it is on Mondays. You should watch it and see the steps she takes. It works all the time and there are some pretty bad kids she has to deal with. Otherwise, hang in there. My son grew out of it.
2007-01-20 03:19:58 · answer #6 · answered by mrs.roberts1976 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Book Title:The One Minute Mother/The quickest way for you to help your children to like themselves and want to behave themselves By Spencer Jonson, M.D.Look for this book"The One Minute Mother".It is a good guide for parenting.
2007-01-20 05:58:46 · answer #7 · answered by It's opinion I . 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
american parents just dont know how to discipline their children
not you fault
just got to know how to teach them who is boss, not abuse, just drawing the line
use the belt if you have to
dont feel bad
maybe you dont even have to use it at all
you might just have to show it to her, and the behavior will stop
there has to be some fear in the child, then shel act right
2007-01-20 03:24:42 · answer #8 · answered by Bru 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't spank her butt.When they 5 yrs old then they tell storys and you think they lie.They don't!!! It's just normal at this age.Got to www.parents.com and i'm sure you will find something about this!!!
2007-01-20 03:19:14 · answer #9 · answered by hunnybunny3und2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she's just a little kid... she probably doesn't understand... and of course doing whatever you did doesn't work, because the more you do things she doesn't want you to, the more she won't listen to you..
2007-01-20 03:16:34 · answer #10 · answered by anonymous 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋