If you were in a relationship with someone who was dating someone else, how long would you stay? And, if you ended up with the person because their other relationship failed, would you be happy?
My boyfriend and I have an agreement that we can see other people, but sometimes I feel as though he wants the other girl more than me. Sometimes, I am just the second choice, or the "fallback" if his other date falls through. Like last night, he was supposed to be out with the other girl. He showed up at my apartment late and was happy to see me. He said the other date didn't go well. We didn't get intimate or anything, but he said he wanted to see me.
2007-01-20 03:01:08 · 11 answers · asked by torn 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i just got out of a situation like this, except in my situation i had decided i only wanted to date him, and i had been under the impression that our open relationship had morphed into an exclusive one. well i recently found out i was wrong, when he voiced that he was having internal conflicts about what he wanted, he still wants to date other girls, etc. This is something that has happenned a couple times before, because I am the only girl he's been in a long relationship with, it scares him from time to time.
I finally decided not to tolerate it anymore. If he still wasn't sure he wouldn't be happier with another girl, after we've dated on and off for a few years, and I've done everything in the world for him, I doubted he would ever make that decision.
If you feel strongly enough about this guy that it upsets you to be his "fallback", get out before you get hurt. It will be better for you to forget him all together than to stick around and feel like a convenience. I've learned the hard way
2007-01-20 04:09:00 · answer #1 · answered by ~ Mi$fitPrin¢ess ~ 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
That wouldn't be a relationship that I would want. Its really up to you, I'm not sure how you feel about the guy, but it would always make me feel bad being his second priority or back up. Maybe you need to tell him (if you do) that you want more. That he needs to stop seeing the other girls and just see you or your out. Good Luck!
Also, the man that you are with should make you feel special. Like you are the most wonderful, important person in the world. If hes not making you feel that way.. you deserve better.
2007-01-20 03:06:47 · answer #2 · answered by Tracy G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, first of all, if you are seeing other people, he is not your boyfriend, he is just someone you are dating. Secondly, I would not want to play second fiddle to any other girl unless we were only dating. Third, why mess around with someone that thinks someone else is more important than you and you are only the fall back girl when there is someone out there that may think you are the only girl for them? I say dump him and get on with your life, let the other have him!
2007-01-20 03:07:10 · answer #3 · answered by hargonagain 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if you are asking yourself that question, you should think about making yourself 1st choice or nothing. It seems obvious you want a closed relationship now. You can either tell him and run the risk of loosing him now or keep worrying you will be dumped later. Even if they say no they don't want a closed relationship and you still agree to it, you still get an idea to where they are commitment wise. Does he break dates with you to see her? If so thats a problem.
2007-01-20 03:18:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anthony K 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are a lot of things that I don't believe in, and this is one of them. I don't believe if you say you are boyfriend and girlfriend, and still have a feeling for someone else. If I am seriously love any man enough, in my dead body that I would share him with the other woman. Either you guy should commit to this relationship or just be friends.
2007-01-20 03:19:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I wouldn't settle for second best. Your not suppose to be second best in a relationship. He is probably loving the fact that he can go do whatever he wants but still have you to fall back on. I think you need to re-evaluate your relationship with him.
2007-01-20 03:17:00 · answer #6 · answered by xcura 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO, NO, AND NO. Never settle, is he the best that you think you can do, do you really want him that much where he can walk all over you, he is humiliating. Find someone else even if its temporary, walk him right in front of this humiliating individual and smile, just smile, then never talk to him again. The right person for you will come just after you have finished an educational session, and he will be right for you, not this one.
2007-01-20 03:08:49 · answer #7 · answered by Conrey 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
sound like you're the spare tyre. you know, the one which gets to be used only when the other tyres go flat?
are you also like this? do you turn to him only if your other dates fail? if so, then you've got no cause to complain. but if you don't, and when you've had enough of the spare tyre gig, tell him and move from there.
2007-01-20 03:08:16 · answer #8 · answered by Jade Ice 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
No I would not settle either you are going to be with me or not. You are putting yourself in a very bad place to get your heart broken.
2007-01-20 03:11:11 · answer #9 · answered by Spacious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't ever settle. You will regret it later.
2007-01-20 03:05:20 · answer #10 · answered by T Time 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋