how to deal with my 6 year old daughter?

Question

1st off, I have an 8 year old boy, 6 year old daughter and almost 5 year old boy. My daughter (6) has always been a difficult child, even as a newborn. Lately, she has started lying, to get out of trouble. I can hardly trust a word that comes out of her mouth. And when she gets in trouble, she puts up a hudge fight! And cries about what ever she is in trouble about for ever! My other two kids (boys age 8 and 5) obey pretty well, go to their room when told, and I dont have a prob. with them talking back. I fell like I have to be so hard on her. I just want her to act right, mind her father and I, and not throw temper tantrums. Sometimes she gets me so upset, I have to send her to her room and just let her scream, and I go out side, so I can ignor her, because I know that if I go in to deal with her, she will have me so upset, that I will hurt her!
Thanks for any advise!

Answer 1

How do you feel about spanking? I would highly recommend doing them, or being more consistent doing them, if you haven't tried yet. If you have tried spanking, I recommend the old fashioned way. Pants down, over the knee thing. Don't worry it's not abuse. We have never left a permanent mark on our girls (which defines abuse) other then a bright red bottom, lol. Email me if you chose to go this rout, there is much more info. you'll need to know.

I've been in your shoes, I feel for you, drop me a line
Good luck

Answer 2

It's always the girls....I have one too. She likes to find the line between acceptable behavior & bad and do a mexican hat dance all over it. She's also 6, and the "lying issue" started up last summer. What we decided to do is punish for the bad behavior, and double that for the lie. For example- I discovered a Picasso-like piece of artwork scribbled in crayon on the wall of the bath tub. I knew it was her, because the other kids showered in the other bathroom, she was the only one who took a bath (it was down low), and then there was also the fact that she signed it. I asked them all who drew it, 3 denied responsibility, she said "i don't know who drew the picture of me & Abby." So she was grounded from TV & the karaoke machine for 2 days, and another 4 days for lying about it. She also had to scrub the tub wall (toothpaste takes crayon out!). I know there will be more "artwork", i know something will get broken because they play catch in the house even though they were told not too about 3 bazillion times- i can handle that. It's lying that I absolutely despise, and adding a double punishment for it has reallllly cut down on it. Now when I ask a question I already know the answer to, all I have to do is remind them, and they 'fess up rather than take extra punishment (sometimes I might go lighter on the sentence if they offer the truth willingly, as an incentive to tell the truth).
As far as the temper tantrums go, you're probably already doing the right thing by ignoring her. You can't give in to terrorist demands.
This is what works for our 5 kids, I hope you find a good method for yours.

Answer 3

I think oyur daughter may have an issue with being wrong, but like a huge one. Some kids are upset inside when they aren't right and have to admit to being someway/having done something that they know they shouldn't. Let me warn you that this could be a huge problem someday. Like, when the kids start with the drugs, you never know what your daughter may do just because she knows she can have a temper tantrum and get out of it.

She may also be in a huge peer pressure conflict. For example, maybe there was some game you didn't buy her that she wanted, and the "popular" kids told her that she should get bakc at you, and she lied about it.

My suggestion would be to speak to a counselor-first you and your husband, then your daughter. Also, pick some creative activites for your daughter, such as dance, painting, acting (hey, she sounds like a drama queen to me!) or a musical instrument. Enroll her in three or four different classes so she has options. At the end of the sessions, she can pick her 2 favorites and keep going with those for awhile. Having something to look forward to may help you keep her busy so you don't have these problems.

Good luck!

Answer 4

as the mother of a difficult 6 year old daughter myself I fully know what you are going through. I too have two boys and they tend to obey fairly well too.The thing I have learned with my daughter is she is a diva,girls are harder than boys in this situation.You are doing the right thing by letting her vent in her room and you take yourself out of the situation.She seems like she is trying to manipulate you to get her way,as does mine.The way I deal with this is to stick to my guns and not sway from the rules I set forth,she will fight and scream and agree and lie but do not give in to these acts she is giving for you. I hope things get better for you

Answer 5

well you may try to make her more responsible for all of her actions like by giving certain "penalties" for lying or throwing tantrums like not getting her favorite dessert or sending her early to her room. if she threw tantrums dont mind her until she comes around. the last resort of disciplinary action you should take if in case shes really behaving very bad is for you to lock her in a room wherein she cant hurt herself for about 6 mins that should be an eternity for her, of course this could really be toughed for you but you have to show who has control you & not her. good luck!

Answer 6

Hello, I understand perfectly, my girl is 6 years old, too.
Try to talk with her when she is calm, try to explain it's wrong .
Make some examples that her can understand.
Try not to tell her how good are her brothers.
Insted of always tell her how bad she is, try to tell her how good she is in a lot of things.
When she lie tell her what a beautiful story she made up, and it is good tell story, but when you ask her something, you prefer the true.

Answer 7

when she does it take her to her room and put her there let her scream, its not gonna hurt her any way, keep her there for about 6 mins AFTER she is DONE screaming, make sure she stays in there too, just keep putting her back if she comes out, without saying a word to her, and if you need to go outside, she's in her room safe nothing will happen to her, good luck with her.

Answer 8

What to expect at this age By the time she reaches kindergarten, your child has a pretty good handle on the difference between truth and falsehood. Most of the time, her fabrications grow out of forgetfulness and wishful thinking (she actually doesn't remember taking that candy bar off the counter, and she wants so much to please you that she really believes she didn't do anything wrong). But even when they do know fact from fiction, most 6-year-olds don't have the nerve or self-control to keep from blurting out a fib. In fact, kids this age may be scared to tell the truth. "Either they're afraid of punishment or they're afraid of disappointing us," says Jane Nelsen, author of the Positive Discipline book series. The first thing to do, then, is create an environment where your child feels safe telling the truth. What you can do Avoid labels. Don't call your kindergartner a liar. It'll only make her defensive, and over time she may start to believe in and live up (or down) to the label. Instead, let her know that you don't like lies, but you still love her ЎЄ no matter what she's done. Say gently but firmly, "That doesn't sound like the truth to me. Sometimes we all worry about telling the truth if we're afraid we've done something wrong." This lets her know you don't approve of her behavior, but it also gives her a chance to explain why she took the candy ("I know my sister had some after school, and it isn't fair that I didn't get any"). Don't ask questions when you already know the answer. If you're quite sure that your youngster hasn't cleaned her room, resist the urge to ask, "Did you clean up yet?" says Jerry L. Wyckoff, a family therapist and co-author of Discipline Without Shouting or Spanking. "It just sets the stage for a lie." Instead say, "I see that you didn't clean up your room," or, better yet, "Please show me your tidy room," which lets her know that you intend to verify the facts personally. This way, you're able to deal with one issue ЎЄ her responsibility to complete her chore ЎЄ without inviting a lie as well. If you do catch her in a lie, don't ask, "Are you telling the truth?" Very few children (and few adults) will respond to that question with a "no." You're likely to get more cooperation if you come back with, "That sounds like a story to me. You know, you won't be in trouble for telling the truth." Find out why your youngster is fibbing. Your kindergartner cheated big-time while playing Connect Four, and then denies doing anything wrong. Instead of leaping to the podium to give a lecture, prompt her with, "I know it was really important for you to win that game." Then let her talk about why she wanted to win so badly. Afterward, the two of you can discuss other ways to improve her game and also why fair play is important. Praise truth-telling. When your child tells the truth, reward her with praise. Especially if she's been caught lying in the past, she'll feel great about herself when she hears you say, "Thanks for telling me the truth. I like it when you do that." Don't forget "little white lies." You want your child to be honest, yet not so honest that she blurts out things that hurt people's feelings ("Grandma, this is a dumb present. I'm too old for teddy bears!"). Explain why it's important to look for something positive to say, even if it's as general as, "Thanks for remembering my birthday, Grandma." Teach your kindergartner that lying doesn't work.We all lapse, and children are no exception. If your child vigorously denies knocking over and breaking the vase with her new ball, voice your view of the facts ЎЄ "It sounds to me like you wish you hadn't broken the vase" ЎЄ and then give her a way to make up for her behavior (by having her help you clean up the mess and glue the vase back together, for instance). She'll learn that lying didn't make her any less accountable. Keep your cool. It's the most natural thing in the world to feel angry and disappointed if you catch your 6-year-old in a lie, and to try to underscore the seriousness of the issue by yelling and punishing her. Still, a rational and just reaction will do more to teach her to do the right thing. "Where did we ever get the crazy idea that in order to make children do better, first we have to make them feel worse?" says Jane Nelsen. "Most punishment comes out of anger ЎЄ and then we've taken the child totally out of any learning mode, because now she's feeling defensive or afraid." Set a good example. The best way to teach honesty is to be honest. Avoid lying to your kindergartner, even about difficult subjects such as illness, death, or divorce. Even a 6-year-old can sense the dishonesty in euphemisms about Uncle Ted's drinking habits, for instance. And remember what she's learning if she hears you call in sick for work when you're fine or lie about her age so you can save a few dollars on her amusement park admission.

Answer 9

Let her scream, but don't let her have what she wants. She will learn - hopefully, but girls are far more wilful than boys.