girls or boys toys?

Question

i was having a conversation with my pregnant daughter inlaw, she says she will not let her son play with dolls or girl play with cars, depending on what she has of course, i said its a bit silly to think like that as kids will play with anything thats around and if a boy wants to push a pram then let him. what do you think? are we still in an age where this really matters? doesnt every1 have the right to choose what they want?

i am not saying i would go out and buy a barbie for a son but is there any harm when they pick 1 up at a friends house or nursery?

Answer 1

I think your daughter in law will find that her son wont give her much choice in the matter cause if he decides barbie is his thing it will be quite tricky to change his mind to think differently! Is this her first child? we all say funny things and have strange ideas of how we would like things to be ideally before our little ones actually arrive, but once they are here we tend to push our idealist views aside and go with the flow for a quiet life, after all being a parent is tricky enough without worrying about something so silly! Congratulations by the way!! oh and helens answer is ridiculous and i believe she has written it in order to shock and confuse, i doubt if she even has children herself by her answer and would consider it void!!!!! lol

Answer 2

My husband was gutted when I bought my son a toy kitchen for his 2nd birthday till he saw the fun and enjoyment he got out of it. He still loves his garage and cars, and i don't mind if he plays with a doll/pram at nursery or at friends he's gonna have a little brother or sister in the next 5months so I hope it'll put him in good sted.
If you tell a child not to play with something they only want to do it more, as they grow up, they will go through phases. But giving a boy a toy pram will not necessarily make him grow into a raging homesexual with afetish for cross dressing, or her angelic little girl turning into a butch lesbian because someone bought her a toy car.

Answer 3

The reality is that we are still in an age where gener identity matters - I think it will always will to some degree. We can however, teach tolerence for those who stray from the social "norms".

Coming from an all girl family, having a boy was worrysome at first because I had little exposure to boy babies -- it seemed very foreign. My son, without any pressure from us, naturally gravitated towards cars and knew EXACTLY what to do with them like he had done this thing all his life. Give him a doll and he might give it a kiss but soon would discard it for a more interesting toy. If he did want a doll, I wouldn't panic about it. People read too much into these things and even if there was some deep seeded truth to it, I would love him anyway.

No sense getting into it again with your daughter-in-law. She is the mother and she will raise her child as she sees fit. Its good to know that your grandchild will have unconditional love without judgement from you. Congratulations, Gran.

Answer 4

As a mother of 4 boys and one girl I would have to agree that up to about 2 1/2 to 3 years old it's not very realistic, or practical, to think playing with "girl" or "boy" toys will have any effect on the child. I have never had a problem with what the kids play with. Safety has always been more of a concern.
In her defense though, some parents, esp first-time parents, have a hard time watching their children play with toys that are considered socially inappropriate. I remember with my first child, a boy, that I would never agree to let him watch Barney. That dinosaur bothered me and his voice me drove me bonkers, but after my son was born and I was living life with a baby things changed. Things I thought I would never ever do became second nature and I even began to rely on things like Barney just to get a second to get a chore done, or get a break. Although I feel for your daughter-in-law you may want to just sit back and wait. You will find that when she has that baby in her arms and he or she picks his favorite toy, regardless of what she said before, she will cave. It's hard to say no. She will just want her baby to be happy.

Answer 5

I let my 4 kids play with whatever kind of toys they want. As a matter of fact I bought my oldest son a boy gabbage patch doll when he was 4, because he got upset when playing house with his 2 sisters that there were no boy babies for him. The baby stays in the girls room, but when they all play house together he can have a son, and he loves it. My girls also have some of their own boy toys that stay in the boys room so that when they play cars with their brother they can have their own, most of them are in girl colors. I also don't have to hear fighting then cause someone don't want to share their toys. They have their own.

Answer 6

let them play with what they want. when i was pregnant with my daughter (now 5 months old)my childminder used to give my toddler son a baby doll to "feed" so he would have some idea of a baby getting a bottle! He also used to love playing with the toy kitchen and ironing board.
My nephew had a dolls pram that he got for christmas one year!

Answer 7

Wow can we say a little phobic! My 2 year old BOY plays with cars non stop his favorite thing...but he also plays with his 8 year old sisters barbies. They say that if you let a little boy play with dolls it will make him a more sensitive man. Also does she know that if she wants her son to play football most coaches recommend they take some ballet??? Also whats wron with a girl playing with cars??? Does she not read the sports pages? The Force daughters are race cardrivers and millionares. I agree shes very silly.

Answer 8

My girls play with my sons cars and trains and we bought our son a doll so he could play with his sisters without any arguments. All children love playing house and its great for them to role play as they love copying mum and dad. Its only now that my son is coming up to 6 that he sometimes says that some things are 'for girls' and I think that is peer pressure from school friends because he doesn't seem to mind joining in with his sisters when playing 'dad', they even call him this sometimes. In fact when asked what he wants to be when he grows up he answers 'a daddy' (hopefully that won't happen too soon!)

Answer 9

I have a girl and twin boys 11 months apart and i never seperated their toys, they were all in the playroom together. Although both boy and girl toys were availiable to each my little girl loves barbies, dolls etc and our boys have naturally played with the trains and cars. i think that every child is different and if a boy wants to play with dolls fine but have other toys avaliable for him. i mean, what will she do if she has a boy and he plays with dolls at playgroup-take it off him because he shouldnt be playing with it?

Answer 10

There is no harm in letting your child play with a "gender specific" toy. My son is 6 and he loves his cars but he has a baby doll that he's had for 3 years and if he spends the night somewhere the baby is going with him, not the cars.