can a 3 yearold be depressed?

Question

so i have a 3 yearold brother, we used to have like really abusive parents(they never beat him, just me) but ever since we moved to arizona to live with my grandparents he is really really shy around every body except me(he thinks im his mommy) and he hides behind my legs around every body, and hes really klingy towrds me, is this normal?? he only sits in the corner when i take him to his daycare and he refuses to play with the other kids, im really worried about him,can a 3 yearold be depressed?? he wont speak around my grandparents, and he will only speak to me, he refuses to speak english and will only speak Chahta Anumpa(its a native american languaga) my grand parents try to talk to him but he just looks at the floor and gives very short answers, whats wrng with him?? please help oh and im 14 so i dont know what to do with him, please help me i'am really worried and i dont no whats going on!! he doesnt throw tantrums and he never gets violent, wats going on with him?

if he is how do i fix it, he wont speak english and i dont think there is any thapist that can speak chahta anumpa


he was scared of my parents and when they would walk over to hit me he would hug me so they wouldnt(he new they woulnd hit him)

he nos how to speak english

Answer 1

He has lost everyone and everything he knew, except you. You are the only familiar person in his life. I'd cling to you like a liferaft too, if I was three.

Please keep this in mind. You can make a HUGE difference in how quickly he recovers. Get your grandparents' advice.

See if you can "bargain" with him to speak to your grandparents in English. There must be some reward you can think of that would catch his attention.

Your brother is going to need lots of extra love and attention and understanding. Please be patient with him.

Answer 2

Wow, you're a very strong young woman to be dealing with all this. I'm glad you're in a place where you're safe now. Make sure you're taking care of your own mental health, too, okay? Yes your brother depends on you but you have your own growing and learning to do, too.

Yes, a three-year-old can be depressed. He's probably just really upset by all the changes in his life. Even though the changes are good, you are the only thing in his life that is the same. So he'll be looking to you to make sure things are okay.

If he can see a therapist that would be a good idea. He knows how to speak English, he just chooses not to. So he could see an English-speaking therapist. At that age therapy is more play than talking. I'd just make sure the therapist is familiar with Native culture. But if he needs therapy this is something your grandparents will have to set up, not you.

If he sees a therapist the therapist can see all of you together to help your brother start working on building trust with your grandparents. Because in the end it's his grandparents that he has to trust and respect and hopefully love since they are the new guardians.

Some ideas besides therapy would be to slowly get him used to each grandparent. So maybe each grandparent has one special activity they can do with just him. For example I know one person who used to go with the child to the parking lot by the airport to watch the planes, because she knew that the child loved planes. It was simple and easy and didn't cost a dime, but it was their special time together.

Also if the four of you did a lot of activities together that would help. And while you're doing the activities as he gets more comfortable you can slowly nudge him toward his grandparents.

Things like that would be good to help him learn that these adults can be trusted.

As for playing with other kids, well that will take time, too. Are there any kids his age in your neighborhood? Do you know their families? If you or your grandparents are friends with those families it might be less intimidating for your brother to just have a one-on-one playdate. Then he can get used to being around kids his age slowly. Also, if the workers at the daycare could be encouraged to help your brother along that would be good, too. Like maybe making sure he's included in circle time, or that when it's free time that he plays near the other children. They might not listen to you because you're so young, so this might be a conversation that your grandparents have with them.

It's understandable you're worried about your brother. But the good news is he's so incredibley young, so he will bounce back from this. Good luck with this and if you need anything else I hope you ask.

Answer 3

Any time a person goes through a lot of change they may exhibit behavior problems. I'm glad to hear that you all are now with your grandparents and away from an abusive situation. He is probably very scared and insecure at this time since everything he knew (his parents, his home, his school) has changed.

Right now you need to try and give him as much love and attention as possible. If your grandparents can do the same that would be great. It may just take some time for him to adjust to his new surroundings. If you ask him what's wrong will he talk to you? Some kids are great at sharing their feelings, others aren't. If he doesn't seem to get more comfortable in his surroundings, I would consider a therapist, possibly for you, to find out what to do about the situation (since he won't speak english to them). Also, you could even take him to the pediatrician and they may have some advice on the situation, or give you a good referral for a therapist.

Good luck!!!

Answer 4

I'm not a licensed expert, but common sense dictates that anyone who is human and has feelings can be depressed. A "professional" once determined that I was "clinically depressed" and an "alcoholic" (because I would occasionally have a drink with my buddies after work). He also determined that drugs and doing everything that the "source of my depression" said were the keys to my recovery. When he called me after three months of missed therapy sessions and no drugs (except the occasional beer) to see how I was doing, I informed that I was cured and never happier in my life. When he asked me how I did it, I informed him that I had divorced the "source of my depression"! Even he confessed that "Well, I guess that works too!" I shared this story with you not because I do not recommend professional help, but just like seeing a doctor for a physical problem, if the diagnosis doesn't make sense, you might want to seek a 2nd opinion and/or "alternative medicine". It sounds like your brother, like me, has already "divorced the source of his depression", and I don't think it's really abnormal for a 3 year old to be shy in a new home, but if your grandparents' love and affection doesn't bring him around soon, then you may want to talk to well-recommended professional. If anyone ever recommends anykind of behavior-modifying drugs, please have your grandparents do a lot of homework on that drug before ever considering it; not doing this could adverse effects on your brother for life. I'm glad that you and your brother are now safe and in a loving home. He's lucky to have a 14 year old sister who cares so much. Good luck.

Answer 5

hello again koi. im glad your grandparent are happy about the news!. but he your brother did just go through a pretty large change. and he is most likely not used to (or doesnt even know) your grandparents. so he may just be shy. as well as with the other kids in his daycare. but hopefully when he goes to preschool he will shape up and learn better communication skills with other people. but he is probably just gettign used to everything now. maybe just have your grandparents spend time wiht him each day. like play toys with him and what not o he can adjust and feel more comfortable in his new environment.

good luck to you and your bf!

Answer 6

His behavior is not normal, he is obviously emotionally disturbed. He needs to be in therapy; they offer play therapy for children his age.

Answer 7

u needs to smokes w/ him!!! i build bonds w/ me kidds by doin this

Answer 8

no