My husband has an anger mannagment problem. He is working to help get it under control. He has been doing pretty good with it and I would like to know what I can do to help him with this from my end. What not to do and to do?
2007-01-20 02:26:02 · 7 answers · asked by ~Carolina Beach Girl~ 4 in Health ➔ Mental Health
the two most important things to do:
1) never tolerate it if it gets physical.
2) work hard to create releases for what hes trying to get out - both emotion and information.
people don't get angry for no reason (tho sometimes current issues trigger older issues), and anger in itself is not a bad thing. sometimes its an appropriate healthy response. the question then is whats done with it. and sometimes its a response to frustration thats very preventable.
anger management problems are often a symptom of inadequate communication about things that bug people, *before* it gets serious. they supress until they blow their top (this is *rampant* in mainstream American culture, because we so stigmatize emotion, especially in men). This is often exacerbated in the presence of other people who see all showings of strong emotion as negative (this could be your part in it).
If there aren't appropriate outlets, then cutting off the inapropriate ones will only amp up the pressure-cooker.
allow him his feelings, let him know they are OK. hes probably feeling very bad about it, which is only making it worse. allow & encourage him to express them at appropriate times - both in terms of information for you *early and often* - even if its going to be something you don't really want to hear, or something that will embarass him - and also in terms of venting excess energy, when necessary, away from you (sports/practice can be a very good outlet).
2007-01-20 03:15:38 · answer #1 · answered by organizizer 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I had the same husband. Things got so bad I did start sleeping with a gun. I keep a car key hidden outside buried in the dirt so If he did go into his fit of rage I could get away from him. I am living alone now and I do not have to worry about waking up to a fist in my face,. It started out as angry words. I wish the best of luck to you. He went to counseling and then came home a cursed me for "having" to go.
2007-01-20 02:48:32 · answer #2 · answered by Patty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be grateful that is he is working to get it under control. Praise him for the new way, he is learning to respond, You should be able to express yourself and be comfortable, around him, by both of you focusing on the progress he is making, and how much better your life is with what he has learned so far, and looking to the future, where you both will be comfortable and happy with the way you both respond to anger.
2007-01-20 03:01:51 · answer #3 · answered by pooterilgatto 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am half way through a book. "Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men" by Lundy Bancroft. I am an abusive man.
2007-01-20 07:46:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Antidepressants will stop that. He doesn't have to be depressed for them to work. You will be amazed at the difference.
2007-01-20 03:26:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
KEEP A LOADED SMITH AND WESSON UNDER YOUR PILLOW-THAT'LL SORT THE BASTARD THE NEXT TIME HE KICKS OFF!!
2007-01-20 02:29:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him alone and stop nagging him!
2007-01-20 02:28:41 · answer #7 · answered by ROBERT F 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋