can a 3 yearold be depressed??

Question

so i have a 3 yearold brother, we used to have like really abusive parents(they never beat him, just me) but ever since we moved to arizona to live with my grandparents he is really really shy around every body except me(he thinks im his mommy) and he hides behind my legs around every body, and hes really klingy towrds me, is this normal?? he only sits in the corner when i take him to his daycare and he refuses to play with the other kids, im really worried about him,can a 3 yearold be depressed?? he wont speak around my grandparents, and he will only speak to me, he refuses to speak english and will only speak Chahta Anumpa(its a native american languaga) my grand parents try to talk to him but he just looks at the floor and gives very short answers, whats wrng with him?? please help oh and im 14 so i dont know what to do with him, please help me i'am really worried and i dont no whats going on!! he doesnt throw tantrums and he never gets violent, wats going on with him?

if he is how do i fix it, he wont speak english and i dont think there is any thapist that can speak chahta anumpa

he was scared of my parents and when they would walk over to hit me he would hug me so they wouldnt(he new they woulnd hit him)

he nos how to speak english

Answer 1

That's a lot for anyone to go through, let alone a three year old boy. My heart goes out to you. It does sound like depression. I don't think there will be a quick fix for you. It will take time for your brother to adjust. I recommend getting help from a mental help professional. They should be able to help with his adjustment.

Answer 2

That poor little angel is just scared, very scared, he has gone trhough a lot on his short life and you are the only person he feels at peace with, a familiar face and a familiar language, that alone could be very intimidating and now, he has to go to another, city, see other people, live with some where else, so he really needs help!!! you should talk to your grandparents and try to find him some help!! Therapist have a lot of different ways to help him or any other persons that does not speak the language, or have a speech delay, or things like that, they will be able to tell you where to go, and how to do it!! Good Luck , he really does needs help, and you and your grandparents can do a lot for him, maybe, the first few sessions you are going to have to go with me, and then will came a point where he will start going by himself!! Kids can heal a lot faster than we do, as well as they can lear to interact with other children and learn different languages in a heartbeat!! So with a little help he will be fine and happy!!

Answer 3

Hi Honey!

I'm a social worker and I work with foster care kids. It is very good you are so concerned about your brother and that he has you!

Yep! A three year old can be depressed, but I'm not sure that is what we are looking at here.

I think he is sad, and grieving the loss of your home and your parents....even though it was a bad thing, it was all he knew.....sadly young children who grew up like that think it is normal.

As far as being clingy to you, this is normal considering your past. You have always been the safe person and you are the only familiar thing he knows. This may not seem healthy, but it is smart from a survival point of view....new place, mom and dad are gone....keep an eye on "mommy/sister." Also, he may be trying to protect you.

There have been HUGE changes...new daycare..it is normal for three year olds (with no history of problems) to paly by themselves. I would either speak to the teacher or have your grandparents speak to the teacher about your concerns and ask her to help your brother interact with the other children. My son used to be very shy with free play activities. DON'T PUSH...but encourage. Maybe you could help in his room when you aren't in school.

He needs time to get to know your grandparents, he will in time. Adults are scary and unsafe...they hurt you....maybe they will hurt you again.

I would seek out a family therapist to help out.....but honestly I don't see anything too strange about it. Encourage English, but embrace your heritage too.

Good luck! Great job surviving and taking care of your brother. You are both going to be ok!

Answer 4

It doesn't sound like he's depressed, although it does sound like he's got separation anxiety. It is COMPLETELY normal for a 3yo who has been separated from his parents to become clingy to someone he sees as trustworthy.

Did he know your grandparents well before you moved in with them? He may be seeing them as strangers. Also, he may on some level see it as though your grandparents took you away from his family.

Your brother has gone through trauma at a young age. You might talk to your grandparents about finding a child therapist. Other than that, talk to him about feelings, even if he won't say anything. "It's scary moving away from home, isn't it? {pause, see if he says anything}" Keep going with different feelings. Give him lots of love, let him know that your grandparents love him and that everything's going to be okay. Let him know it's okay to be scared and when he's ready to speak to others, he will. Do this kind of thing daily.

EDIT:
If your brother UNDERSTANDS English well enough, it's fine if the therapist doesn't speak Chahta Anumpa. There are all kinds of ways that child therapists work with non-verbal kids.

Answer 5

I don't think depressed is the correct word. I think this was a very traumatic set of experiences for him and he doesn't know how to react to them. Even though he was never beat, you were. I am sure he has witnessed some of this which is traumatic. Even though this happened, he's 3 which means he loves his parents and doesn't have them anymore. This is traumatic. He is now with his grandparents which I would guess, he doesn't know them very well and probably hasn't developed that trust for them yet. He's been through a lot and was moved to a new place with new people. It will take time to gain trust for those around him. He is little and doesn't understand what is really going on. In his mind, if he gets close to these people, they'll 'leave' him too-or worse, he may be scared they will hurt him because this is all he knows. This is normal for what has happened. Be patient with him. Help those around him 'earn' his trust. Talk to him. He doesn't need to know the dirty details-but explain to him that this is a better place and no one will leave him or hurt him. It will take time. He needs you to let him know everything will be OK if he has fun and is happy. At his age, he understands what he sees. You have to look safe and happy. You have to show that you trust those around you. Hug your grandparents in front of him. Spend a lot of time smiling and talking with them in front of him. Even if you are sad inside-it may help him to deal with things if he thinks everything is OK. Good luck.

Answer 6

You poor little angel. What grown up thoughts you have for such a young girl. You are very strong and courageous to have gone through such hard times at your age. You should be proud of yourself. Yes, 3 year old's can become extremely depressed and it often gets over looked. Your brother is very young and you are the only "constant" thing in his life right now. He is probably having a hard time understanding his life and why it changed so much. Talk to him alot. Let him know that you will never leave him. When you drop him at daycare, assure him that you will always come back to get him. Try getting him to participate in activities with you and your grandparents so he can learn to trust them. Talk to your grandparents about your concerns, maybe you can translate for him with a therapist. You should probably go to counseling too, just in case. Hang in there kiddo, email me @yahoo if you ever need to talk.

Answer 7

Any time a individual is going by way of lots of replace they might show habit issues. i'm chuffed to take heed to which you all are actually with your grandparents and faraway from an abusive difficulty. he's in all danger very scared and insecure right now considering each little thing he knew (his mum and dad, his abode, his college) has replaced. staggering now you ought to attempt and provide him as plenty love and interest as a danger. if your grandparents can do the comparable that could be large. it would desire to take it sluggish for him to conform along with his new ecosystem. in case you ask him what's incorrect will he discuss with you? some teenagers are large at sharing their emotions, others are not. If he would not look to get extra mushy in his ecosystem, i might evaluate a therapist, probable for you, to ensure what to do concerning to the placement (considering he won't talk english to them). additionally, you will possibly be able to desire to even take him to the pediatrician and that they might have some suggestion on the placement, or provide you an excellent referral for a therapist. good success!!!

Answer 8

He's hurt obviously, just like you are as he has been through it with you and has been with you for his entire life, he's getting close as he finds comfort from you. He sounds more homesick than depressed and phycology tels me that he only speaks in that language to remind him of home even though he probably wanted to go because of your parent's behavior. Plus he's young, he is confused, he is in a new world (starting school is hard enough) and he needs his space to unconfuse himself. Give him time, his mind will grow and he will appear to settle in no time (I THINK). He has got a right to be depressed, even more so you, so just show him love and talk through his problems with him and soon he will open up to everybody, try to banish the walls that are in front of him. No therapist I know speaks that language but if he is still like that in a few months or so you will have to get help for him and for your sake as you are 14 and are not supposed to be the child's mother - he can talk to a therapist through you until he is ready to talk his normal language. Good luck to you and him. Also he is probably shy as he thimks he will have to leave again and everyone is knew around him. I will get back to you later with some numbers etc. If you wanted to disscuss this futher or tell me more about it I would be happy to. I am only 14 too but I know some of these predicaments from my own experience and through others. (I am training as a counsillor and hear really bad problems like this unfortuneately too often).

Mayby he can sense your hurt even if you do not show it ( I know you don't though you sound a very strong person ) and mayby he wants to protect you. He used to hug you as he knew they wouldn't hit him, mayby he is still afraid that something will happen to you again and he wouldn't be able to help you. You are everything to that little boy but it is unhealthy for such a mother like bond with a sister - it isn't your responsibility. I believe it will take him long to adjust to his new life like anyone would, I've never been in such a horrible predicament myself but I know how hard it is to adjust to a life unfamiliar to yours. I would like to ask a personal question. Do your parents get to see you. If they are seeing you I would get it stopped as that is whats most probably causing him to feel depressed. There is no question if he is depressed or not, he is, and more importantly he has a reason to be and so do you, so look after him and yourself and never forget there will be a silver lining for both of you, it cannot get worse can it?

Answer 9

No,a 3 year probly would not be depressed. but he could be worried. what you should do is make him sit down you sit down with you. make sure no one else is listening then start telling him that noone else is here and no one will hert hert him or you tell him he needs to speek english around people who you say are good people and do not hert others. then give him a hug and say i love you. see if he talks in english. i have a 7 year old cusin who`s mom`s boyfriend beat him. onday it got really bad and he beat jordon on the face with his momspikey chained belt and when he was done he called the mom and they stood their and and laghed and spit on his face. but his grandma took him and jordon would only talk to me. but i did what i told you to do and it worked now he is playing in parks with other kids and i hope it works for you.
p.s i am 16
your friend,
victoria

Answer 10

Oh sweetie...........you've been through a really rough time, haven't you!!

You're brother probably IS depressed, but not in the sense you might be thinking.......he simply has had the only reality he knows taken from him, and doesn't know how to handle it. By latching on to you, he is clinging to the only constant left in his life.

Sweetie, if your grandparents haven't already offered, PLEASE talk to them about BOTH OF YOU getting couseling!! You need it, because you are under so much stress, and he needs it to learn to trust again.

Do me a favor......if you ever want to talk (I've been in your situation), write me at [e-mail]. Hugzzzzzzzzzzzz, and hang in there!!!!!