sorry if I bored you out there. But I am really grateful for all your advices and support.I end up in tears reading these messages becoz no one in my life have ever welcomely accept me into their lives.I knew the importance of not looking back.But currently,i am in a lot of distress because I find myself diverting all my attention to my only frd.I constantly need reassurance from her that she won't abandon me.I attched to her because she is very similar to my mum,she is cold and distant and she dislike affections.When I try to hug her or confide in her,she pushes me away.I tried so hard to please her.Worst still,she became close with a guy and since then she have been neglecting me a lot.And I feel almost like I am so easily replacable.This reminds me of how my mum favours my bro. she is spendng increasing amount of time with him.I couldn't help from feeling so jealous and painful.I don't see the point in getting better becoz noone wants me anyway.
Do you think I suffer from BPD?
2007-01-20 01:05:22 · 10 answers · asked by happy bunny 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I dont know about the BPD, but you certainly need some professional help and advice to get through this rough patch. Good luck;
2007-01-20 01:09:35 · answer #1 · answered by huggz 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I'm glad that you are back and talking.
You are clearly feeling low and this isn't something that will get better over night. It is important to keep talking.
I get the impression that you have made a good friend and that you have focussed all your need for support on her (all the stuff that you needed and didn't get from your parents for a long time) onto her. Her reaction may be that she feels a little bit overwhelmed by this. I don't think she is being cruel intentionally. I think she is finding it hard to give everything that you need and one friend can only give so much. She needs space and time for herself. She has other commitments in her life and she has needs too. She has a new person in her life and that is important for her. It is also helpful in a strange way as I think you realise that having just one person in your life is not enough too. That is something that you can deal with too.
I was in a similar situation with a friend who met this guy. They were so into each other that I felt pushed out. It was very hard as I felt rejected and very jealous too because she had met someone special and I hadn't. Give your friend a little time and try to remember that friendships evolve and change in time. It is normal and healthy.
It might help for you to try to do things to get yourself out with people. It is pretty scary when you don't feel very confident or happy. There are lots of safe ways to do that, where you won't feel too exposed. Try going out for a coffee with someone from work college or school or look at an evening course that you have been interested in (something that will allow for a bit of talking like art, drama, music, photography) which runs once or twice a week. I did some volunteering with the RSPCA for a while which was great fun and really helped me when I was feeling isolated. I also found a lovely cat who is a great companion!
You say that it is important not to look back. You're right that dwelling on the past isn't healthy but you need to balance that with the fact that the past has affected you (as it would anyone). You have been through a lot and had to deal with a lot of cruel rejection. This is going to affect you and the relationships you have. That is natural. It is great that you have some insight into the problem. That is the first step to being able to move on.
There are a lot of people who will care and take an interest in you. It is still important though that you take care of yourself and get the help you need. You mentioned in one question that you had tried counselling but didn't say how long for. I would urge you to try again. Counselling is not a one step wonder. Often you will find that it is helpful to return for another set of sessions. If the last time wasn't too helpful, perhaps you could try another counsellor?
You mentioned BPD. I agree with the others who don't think that you have this. You are depressed at the moment as a reaction to some serious stuff that has happened in your life. One person in four will have some form of mental health problem at some time in their life. It usually passes with time and help. For you this too will pass.
Take care of yourself.
2007-01-20 23:26:21 · answer #2 · answered by Rats 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say that some women are brought up to value the attention they get from a man more highly than that they get from a woman (my mum too). Stay fast and true as a friend; that is worth so much, and one day someone will come into your life that will value your strength and honesty.
Maybe extend your friendship base, give her some space, people often get blinkered when a new love comes into their life and they forget their old friends.
Take a walk every day, enjoy the sunshine and smile at people - someone will smile back - its a start!
PS there may be some odd characters on here - but there are a lot of good people too - you're never as alone as you might think.
Take care
2007-01-20 01:45:26 · answer #3 · answered by Em 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really seems lie you are looking for her to give you the love & attention your mother wouldn't give yo. I really feel for you, I feel ur mother didn't give you much love or attention, perhaps becos she didn't get any love herslef. it's not her fault but it doesn't make it ok. Please stop depending on anyone NOW & start looking to God to provide you with everything u need. I promise you no-one is able to give you that love bu Him. It's important to have friends & loved ones but if u r having to make so much effort it's not worth it, it has 2 b a 2 2-way thing., give & take.
If you are in need of some help, maybe try healing? have u ever tried it? I think it might help u, u have to go to this iste & type ur postcode for a nearest centre (National federation of Helaers)
Don't worry about ur friend, she's only human & she too needs love. She's probably not able to give you the love u need & it's too much for her but I am not blaming you or her. from my experince no-one can give me that love & reassurance (which u r looking from another human being),I have learnt to ask it from God, becos you are His child & He loves you no matter what, I promise.
2007-01-20 10:51:11 · answer #4 · answered by glgl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we all go through times in our lives where we feel lonely and unaccepted by society,your friend has a life too,shes entitled to some happiness,let her have her space or you will lose her friendship,things will get better,try focusing on a part of your life you really enjoy,work,a hobby a talent,join a support group,join some kind of social club and meet new people,you'll meet someone special too one day when you least expect it and love is a wonderful thing,keep smiling..there are better times ahead..
2007-01-20 01:15:56 · answer #5 · answered by ♥cozicat♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are suffering from depression but im sorry to say, your making yourself like this. you have to think possitive, move away if you have to.
you need to meet new people to chat to and someone that'll listen to you as your going to dig yourself into a big hole and you'll never get out of it.
i can tell just by the way you write, you want someone to listen to you and you are very lonely. i bet if you could have written more you would have.
email me at hannah_clarke32@hotmail.co.uk and i will listen to you and advice you. i can also befriend you and you can come to me when you need a chat.
2007-01-20 01:12:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have not read your previous mail, but the one thing in life that will give you unconditional love, loyalty, affection and always be pleased to see you is a dog. Give it some thought as medical people recommend it for stress reduction and practise what i preach because i have suffered to and it really helps. good luck.
2007-01-24 00:00:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No not BPD, depression maybe. There is no point in getting better because someone wants you or not getting better because no-one wants you - you must do it because of you. Instead of wasting energy trying to please these other people - put that energy into helping yourself and a first step is maybe a councillor.
2007-01-20 01:21:27 · answer #8 · answered by suebnm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Borderline personality disorder NO. You are too clingy. If you just stopped talking to her and were cool with that decision then yes. Believe in yourself and make the world your oyster!
2007-01-20 01:14:31 · answer #9 · answered by Billy Dee 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get help. BPD, OCD, FNG etc.
2007-01-20 01:10:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋