Been with my wife 5 years/married 6 months, Her family never acknowledges my birthday, not a birthday wish or even a card. Yet when it's her sister in law or brother in laws birthday, wife buys gift for them. I told my wife to stop, am i being unfair to her?
2007-01-20 01:00:59 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I get along very well with my in-laws, but I don't get any birthday gifts or phone calls or cards, only mu husband gets those. But I buy gifts for my husband's sister and her husband regardless. Have been for the last eleven years and will probably continue to, but I am not going to get into a panic if I can't post something on time.
If the family treats you well but ignores the gifts, put it away as them being careless. No need to ruin family relationships, not with your in-laws, not with your wife. My guess is that any mention you make of it will cause trouble. Unless the amount of money she spends is big, I would ignore this. Certainly this early in marriage.
Good luck!
2007-01-20 02:37:19 · answer #1 · answered by Developing Minds 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't sweat the small stuff. As long as your WIFE remembers your birthday, the other family members can go to H-E-double hockey sticks. I've been married (hubby #2) for 4 years and my parents won't acknowledge our anniversary...which happens to be my birthday, also. I don't worry about it...my husband remembers and in the end, that's all that counts.
2007-01-20 10:15:12 · answer #2 · answered by rayhnebeaus_mom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't worry to much about it. The same thing happens to me as well and I've been married for ten years. Eventually you just learn to live with it. I don't think you are being unfair, your feelings are hurt and I know how that is. Maybe they just don't know when your birthday is but, they could write it down. Seriously, it gets to the point where you really don't care anymore and eventually your wife will get tired of it as well.
2007-01-20 09:05:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her family isn't being kind to you at all. But your wife seems to be a kind & giving person(isnt that why u fell for her?) Don't tell her to stop giving gifts..it isnt her nature.
I think u should tell her how u feel about her family tho..and I think it would be ok to suggest a card being a sufficient gift for her sister/brother in laws instead of buying them things
2007-01-20 09:55:09 · answer #4 · answered by earthangel_candy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would let your wife continue to buy the gifts. Cause it will put her in a hard spot being between hubby and family. Just allow her to do that for her family. Her family will have to learn to respect you. They may never , or they may. It is more than understandable to be hurt by it . Cause you like to think your just as important to her family as the others are. But remember the problem doesn't lie with you but with them. Their own issues they have to deal with. Don't give them more power though letting them think you are affected by it. That would only make them float more. Goodluck with them and I hope they will eventually treat you like they do the others.
2007-01-20 09:13:41 · answer #5 · answered by Shannon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to let them know that they should call or write to say happy birthday. You are a part of the family whether they like it or not. I agree with you. You guys are one. It is like a one way gift giving war. From now on just send them a card no gift.
2007-01-20 09:06:45 · answer #6 · answered by narcisscus24 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have never aknowledged my sister in law, but then she has never aknowledged me.
She has been married to my brother for 26 years. I would just blow it off. Your wife should be the only person who matters. I think she should not be sending birthday presents unless you are loaded.
2007-01-20 09:48:56 · answer #7 · answered by happydawg 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
mmm, maybe a bit. It really sucks that they're like that but if thats what your wife wants to do then let her. And maybe if she stopped it would cause alot of anger in the family so it could be best that she just keep on.
2007-01-20 09:06:48 · answer #8 · answered by Luthyin 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are being unfair. She is being nice. Just because they aren't being as nice to you, doesn't make it right for you to tell her to stop. If the worst her family does to you is not sending you a card, consider yourself lucky. You are being too sensitive.
2007-01-20 09:42:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is something really beautiful about giving without expecting to receive. If your wife wants to do this let her. As long as it is not compromising your budget.
2007-01-24 00:13:52 · answer #10 · answered by Pamela P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋