I'm begging for advices...really need helpppp?

Question

My husband hasn't kiss or even touch me since last month. He ask me to do what he wants when he needs it. I told him and he ignored. Living wit family I already got enough depress. They even try to controll me. Keep telling how to take care of my 4 months daughter. Get mad when I go visit my mom in North Cali. once a month. Mother inlaw called my husband stupid for letting me go that often, waste money and so on.. He told me he'll never move out even 5 mins away. Wanted to help his family...My sisters will come visit my daughter and I tomorrow. Should I come wit them back to North cali? I'm tired wit this life, i can see he doesn't love me. Am I a bad mom if I take my daughter away from her dad? please hellllllppppp thanks

was too tired to answer his question, he push my head back and grabbed my face and said " stop ignoring me when I'm talking" and I can see he wanted to punch me. " i told him don't touch me and told me to go back to north cali but leave our daughter wit him. He always push my head and slap my face when I ignore him.

i tried to work things out for the last chance but it came out horrible. I did watever he asked for and he said" do watever u want when u r satisfied then sleep." I was crying, he hurted my feeling. I feel like i'm nothing to him. He said" don't be sad again, i still love u" it's so easy for him to say that three words without feeling it

i told him i'll go away to see how he reacts, and he asked"when,are u going alone?" later he said" u know i love her a lot" "all I want is to see everyone is this house happy" he always bring his family to every topic.

i asked wat if i go alone? or take her wit me? he said" well, she's ur daughter if u take her wit u , what can I say?" we're married but haven't get our marriage certificate. We're married cause I got pregnant but I knew he didn't love me enough to put all my trusts on him that's y i didn't and try to ignore tp get the certificate.

i know he won't agree to go to counselor, he said" u're too sensitive" again it's all my fault

THANK YOU ALL wit ur advices i feel so much better, I'll try my best to be my part in her life and also take over her daddy's part. I'll be her both mom and dad. When he realized how we're important to him , he can always ask for forgiveness.

THANK YOU ALL wit ur advices i feel so much better, I'll try my best to be my part in her life and also take over her daddy's part. I'll be her both mom and dad. When he realized how we're important to him , he can always ask for forgiveness.

Answer 1

He sounds violent. Pack your things, pack up your daughter and move to North Cali with your mom. Tell him to get counseling. You need it too. Good luck -- go to safe place!

Answer 2

ok, first off. NEVER allow a man or anyone else for that matter to treat you this way. Emotional abuse is just as bad as physical.

I left my ex and moved from Toronto to Montreal. Is is a 7 hour dirve away and he has no car to travel. Visitation rights were established which HE chose to ignore and has now not seen my son in 4 years. I tried to keep their connection, but then realized that it is not my job to do HIS parenting.

If you have already decided to leave him, then I wold say follow your heart. If you stay though, you must know that by doing so you choose to forgive him and it is up to you to make sacrifices too. If it were me...I would go. Maybe even just for a month or two and tell him you need a break and some time to think. You cannot make that kind of decision with him hovering over you.

Good luck and I hope it works out for you as well as it did for me.

Answer 3

You need to clear your mind, your daughter is so young but she will pick up on all the negative vibes in this dysfunctional family.
Go to your moms house eat healthy go for long walks & flush yur mind & body of the toxins that you have had to endure. You & your daughter will flurish.
You are a mom now & it's important that you protect your daughter.
I see from your past questions that he is a cheater. So that makes him a liar,he throw around the word LOVE.
I don't think he know how to love from what you have said about his family. Your his wife he should be standing up for you if he truely loves you.
Your daughter will be fine & probaly better off with out him in the picture.
Stay at your moms & get some councling demand that he does the same. If he is not willing to change for the better of his wife & child your better off without him.

Answer 4

Clearly your having difficulties in your relationship and with young babies it can be a stressful time for both parents. People say and do things they may not ordinarily do. Your priority should always be you and your child's safety! So if you think your in a violent situation you should defiantly deal with that first.
If you don't feel violence is a issue I would suggest seeking counselling for you and your partner. If it has gone to a place beyond that you should always remember that you have to be happy yourself to provide a happy home for your child. Sometimes being in a destructive relationship can be far worse for a child to see then two happy parents living separately.
Ultimately I'm not a counsellor and I would suggest approaching one for some professional advice.
Just remember your not alone everybody has rough patches.

Answer 5

This sounds too familiar, i was with my ex for 2 years and we have a 13 month old, when she was about a month old he got too "stressed out" and stopped caring about me and talking care of the baby, he would just go out with his friends and party. he became very abusive, physicly and emotionly, so i left him, it was the best thing i could have done for my and my daughter. if your husband is ignoring you and doesnt care for you the way he should then you should defenately go to North cali. You dont need to be putting up with his family telling you how to raise your child and if he doesnt want to make a life on his own with you then you need to end it and take care of your little girl.

Answer 6

Your question is a little unclear. He's ignoring you? That's definitely not something you want to stick around for. If living with his family is making you unhappy, he needs to do something about it. The fact he doesn't is a huge sign saying WALK AWAY! If you're happier at your mothers, then move! What's important is that you do whats best for your baby and what makes you happy.

Answer 7

Wow. Get out of there. Go to North Cali and be where you have support. Its bad to have a child that young in a negative environment like that and if he does that to you think of what he is capable of with a child. Dont leave your little one behind

Answer 8

NO! You are not a bad mom if you take her away. I was in almost a similar situtation. My husband always allowed his parents to manipulate him. They wanted us to live with them after we got married but i made sure we bought a place and it was ready to be moved into after our big day. But it didn't end their they still continued to manipulate him and this put a huge strain on our marriage. I was ready to walk out and we ended up going to therapy. Don't get me wrong things weren't great but they got better. Now we have our own child and again they are starting to act up so we are going back to therapy. Marriage is a lot or work, but one thing i felt from him was that he really would work with me if he thought i was going to walk out. But i didn't tell him i was leaving to get a reaction, i told him i was leaving because i had my bags packed and i was done. Is he willing to go to therapy?

Answer 9

Yes you need to leave. No your not a bad mother from taking you kid away from a man that may hit you at anytime. You do not need to deal with that. Get out ASAP. it will be hard at first, but in the long run, its best for you and your child. GET OUT NOW!

Answer 10

If domestic violence is starting to take place (plus emotional abuse), then yes GET OUT OF THERE AND GO LIVE IN CALIFORNIA WITH YOUR FAMILY AND TAKE YOUR DAUGHTER WITH YOU. All the other issues are peanuts compared to those two problems...