okay, me and my boyfriend were on a break a while ago, and i had sex ith someone, then we got back together... well, he recently found out, and i admitted it, and he wants to work things out with me. how do i get his trust back?
2007-01-20 00:22:13 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's gonna be very very very very hard to do. It's gonna take a lot of time, possibly a couple of years. Be the best person you can possibly be, be totally honest, don't give him even the smallest reason to doubt you or think you have cheated. But at the same time, don't kiss his a** either. Just be cool, you know you f'd up, and don't ever do it again.
2007-01-20 00:38:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You guys were on a break but it probably wont feel that way to him. Even though a break was on the feelings for one another should still be there to keep a person from doing something like that. How would you of felt if he did it? Feelings are still there even though technically you did nothing wrong. If you break up with someone at 2pm then go to bar later and get laid then get back together next day is that cheating? no. it will just hurt other person. Time, Time,Time will be the only thing that will heal. And if act really really sorry and cry alot when it comes up might help the conversation go away faster.
2007-01-20 00:34:40 · answer #2 · answered by trans am ws-6 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Julie, if you had sex with another man while you were on a break as you call it with your boyfriend, this was your choosing and no one else's. But since you and your boyfriend are working things out on that issue, an issue that there is no need to work out (since you were not together) gives me the impression that the both of you were not separated the way relationships are ended, you were in a way still together, and it makes it difficult to advise you how to get his trust back. Don't you think that it was perhaps too soon after the break for you to sleep with another man? Your behavior gives me the impression that you don't really love your boyfriend, and this is the message that your boyfriend gets also, especially if he has not been with another woman during your so called break. Try to blame it on a temporary loss of self control due to your chagrin for separating with him.
P.S. Ask yourself Julie, whether you trust yourself not to repeat the same mistake when another such occasion arises?
2007-01-20 00:39:53 · answer #3 · answered by markos m 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry this happened to you. You are well on your way already, cause your B/F wants to work things out. Trust once lost can be regained. You will have to not put yourself in any situation that lends him to think you may be cheating again.
Just go about what you were doing before, except no cheating, over time he'll come to fully trust you again. Men are more foregiving than women are when it comes to this type of situation.
It won't happen overnight, it will take some time but should work out okay.
2007-01-20 00:28:56 · answer #4 · answered by michael_trussell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean by you were on a break..If the two of you seperated from eachother the I don't believe that would be considered cheating.In order for you to regain his trust again you have to have respect,honesty and communication with him.You can't expect everything to come back over night.Any relationship worth having takes time patience and understanding.Good Luck to you.
2007-01-20 00:28:37 · answer #5 · answered by Maureen B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I honestly do not know if one can ever get complete trust back from some one we have wronged. The best thing you can do is be as honest and transparent as you possibly can with him. Tell him and also show him you love him and that it was a mistake that you have learned from and are not willing to make again. If he truly wants to work things out then he will try his best to understand and believe you.
2007-01-20 00:29:18 · answer #6 · answered by andia2amat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were split up right? Technically that is not cheating then but it makes you look bad if you lie about it or try to hide it. Be proud of what you did (not really but you know what I mean) and don't try to avoid it if it comes up. So you did it, you were not together so it doesn't matter. If he can't deal with that then he is the one with the problem. I'm a guy...a little advice, if he is so upset about it and making a big deal then he probably did it himself and it makes him feel better to know he can point out what you did. It makes him look and feel like the good guy.
2007-01-20 00:28:24 · answer #7 · answered by El Tigre 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once trust is broken, it will take a long time. You have to make sure that you never lie about anything. He will test you often to make sure you are not lying to him. YOU have to be patient and let him do what he has to do to develop that trust back in you. When fighting, most likely, he will bring it up in your face. Don't get mad, he's only bringing up the hurt that he is working through. Let it go and be patient. He will, hopefully, come around in time.
2007-01-20 00:29:30 · answer #8 · answered by Weasel Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think it's about you cheating (you didn't, you had broken up), but more his insecurities that you wanted to sleep with someone else and could most likely be still attracted to them. he's no doubt jealous of this guy because he is competition.
you will just need to be reassuring about how you feel about him, but through actions more than just words. being affectionate when out together, just a caress, touch to the face, an unexpected kiss.
just be sure you want to be back in the relationship.
2007-01-20 00:29:50 · answer #9 · answered by noodle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one, you may try real hard and never gain his trust back 100%. All you can do is try your best to show your loyalty to his as you did before you cheated. Do you think you cheated on him intentionally? You were taking a break so to speak.
2007-01-20 00:28:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋