My husbands cousin is staying with us, he is from a different country. He has a wife in his country and I know he is cheating. This really pisses me off. I want to kick him out becuse I cannot respect him knowing what he does. I though he had come here to try to make a better life for him and his family. I dont know what to do.
2007-01-19 23:49:50 · 13 answers · asked by loreerocks 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
You are definitely allowed to think what you want. If you haven't told your husband yet, you need to. Maybe he isn't aware of that fact. I don't know what culture they are from, sometimes that is acceptable in some cultures. However, if your husband is bothered by it too, perhaps it's time to sit down with your house guest and tell him what you will tolerate and what you won't. If your husband is non-responsive or doesn't think there is anything wrong, there's no much you can do, he's family.
2007-01-20 03:40:42 · answer #1 · answered by Corny Camelia 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you and your husband really care for this guy then BOTH of you could try and talk some sense into him. First talk to your husband about how this matter disturbs you and then both of you can try talking to your husband's cheating cousin. You have the right to be concerned about this man's behavior because he is living under your roof, therefore he ought to respect you and your family's principles if he wants to be treated with respect.
2007-01-20 01:09:38 · answer #2 · answered by tango_adamantine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I certainly see your point; considering he is behaving this way in front of your husband and they are related; SURELY this is not the kind of company you want your husband to be keeping, in fear that this would influence him. BUT, getting overly involved can cause drama between you and your husband...so what do you do???????
I say politely tell your husband that helping someone get on their feet is one issue, but his female liasons are another (even if its not happening in yor home, the fact that you know is enough!). Just make it known that he has a time table to find his own place, where no one will know BUT HIM what he is doing and that, that will be better for all parties involved; he can make his personal decisions and you wont have to be offended by them.
2007-01-20 00:44:09 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Albritton 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a word to say in that house and you can talk to your husband and tell him you will not participate in his cousin's wife's ordeal in any way. Not speaking or ignoring the facts is complicity, so I guess you're not too judgemental. Besides, it is a negative factor around your husband as well...or it may be, who knows. I say you suggest him to look for something to rent or something.
2007-01-20 00:37:59 · answer #4 · answered by allanah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
even though you don't respect him, he IS your husbands cousin and he does respect him. I think you should wait untill he has enough money to live on his own, therefore you don't as feel bad for kicking him out.
2007-01-19 23:55:30 · answer #5 · answered by Grammar B*@%h 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot depends on your husband's opinion, since it is his house too. I would see how he feels about it and decide with him where to go from there.
Live and let live... ultimately this guy will answer for his actions.
2007-01-20 00:41:48 · answer #6 · answered by dai_nite 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why you are so irked when he has to stay in your place for a while. And how do you really know that he is cheating? Are you a psychic or something?
He is definitely your husband's cousin. You have no right at all to hate him or to judge him by only what you feel of him. Feeling is only feeling. I don't believe in sixth sense at all. Do you have it? Why you know that he is cheating? What is the proof for your assumption of that?
And by the way why you cannot respect him IF he did cheat? Who are you? Who are you? God or something? Even God is NOT vengeful at all. He is full forgiveness. Definitely you are the only one who have deadly problem here. Not your husband's cousin.
Are you God? Until you know that he is cheating and you cannot respect him at all? Are you God? Until you have the need to kick him out and he has to be 'shattered' and 'eliminated'? Who are you think you really are? God? Angel? Holy Spirit? Until you do
believe you have the right to expel someone out from your husband's place. Now tell me do you have any proof that he is cheating? Even if you have the proof that he is really cheating, you have NO right at all to kick him out. Why you really want to deal with other people's business? Why you really love to ruffle and rumple other people's business? Do you think it is truly your business if he is really cheating or not? Who in this world gives you the right to mess up with his personal life business?
Do you think you are 100% perfect as a human? Nothing's perfect. People make mistakes ALL the time. Humans are basically weak and fragile in so many way, shape and form. Acknowledge that well. Open your eyes.... He is not annoying you. He doesn't bring that woman to your house. So what's your problem? He doesn't ask money from you at all if he is really cheating. He even doesn't 'touch' you at all, shortly. Does he?
He just stays there because it's his cousin's house as well. And his cousin married with the vengeful, emotional unhealthy and hating woman like you.
Even if he is cheating and you have the proof of that, is just gonna show you that nothing is perfect in this world. Nothing. Including yourself. You are not the center of this universe. You are not even better than your husband's cousin at all. Take a look at yourself for a while. Analyze yourself well before you judge. You are not even better than your husband's cousin at all. It's just you really cannot see yourself well, blinded with your own self-righteousness, pride and dignity. In this case, it's so obvious that you put and make yourself as the righteous and holy one in this world, and your husband's cousin is the dreadful and wicked one that need to be exterminated.
Don't act like you are the righteous one ever in this world. You never know if your husband will cheat on you someday if your behavior continuously like this.
Do you know what forgiveness is? Are you deep down inside your heart happy and fulfilled? Ask yourself before judging other people.
If I could sum you action towards him in a parable here as ''I am the righteous one in this whole planet and he is the immoral one here. And as the righteous one I have to slaughter all the wicked ones without giving them one more chance to be better. I am the only one on the earth who have the chance to be better, those wicked ones are not allowed to have a chance to be the better version of themselves at all. Once they made mistakes in their life, they are wicked forever in all their life and no opportunity for them to convert themselves to be better. I am the only one who have that right to convert myself to be better in this whole planet.''
Fact number one we have to know in this life : Unhappy people like it when everybody else unhappy, because misery loves company.
.
2007-01-20 01:11:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
talk to your husband about it and come to a conclusion together
2007-01-20 19:09:30 · answer #8 · answered by Sophie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to put up with him because
he is family
he is your (husbands) guest
he is nice to you
but you do not have to
like him
respect him
stay long to have converstations--"I will leave you two brothers ........................alone talk"
just put up with him to keep the married ok and your husband happy
2007-01-20 04:32:47 · answer #9 · answered by Wicked 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
haha yea tell him, this is my house. these are my rules. *****!!
don't like it, go rent a hotel room!!!
hold a bible in your hand to make him feel super guilty.
2007-01-19 23:58:48 · answer #10 · answered by ... 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋