i need to share a problem and need advice. please try not to be rude.
i have this friend who works with me. she is quite influential and often helps me in getting work. i have noticed she tries to get close and personal with me whenever we hang out. i took that as her being very friendly, but recently when we were at her place having a few drinks, she tried to get intimate with me. she openly said she is interestd in me. she knows about the probs i had with my boyfriend and she says women can undrstand each other well. i do agree with her lol, but i am not that type, i am straight. nowadays she tries to get her hands all over me whenever we met.
now the problem is i dont want to lose her as a friend and i need her because she helps me alot regarding my work.
how do i tackle this situation gracefully?
2007-01-19 23:09:48 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
okay, if she's your friend you need to talk to her and do it in private and be gentle, clearly this girl has feelings for you and you don't want to be mean, just say that you value her friendship but your straight and are not interested in any women.
Good Luck
2007-01-19 23:13:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you may be giving her 'mixed' messages. You need to act towards her just as you would a man that was making unwanted sexual advances. Tell her 'no' if she tries to touch you. Explain that you like her as a person but you don't feel the same way about her as she does about you.
I'm not sure what sort of job you do that means that she has power to give or take away work from you. Just because she is a woman it doesn't mean that she can sexually discriminate against you. If she stopped giving you work because you weren't interested in her you may have grounds to sue etc.
The best thing to do is to maintain your own personal integrity. Don't let her get do things to you (i.e. touch etc) that you don't like, to get monetary benefit or job security from her.
I think you should set very firm boundaries and then if she acts badly about it deal with it then. Treat her just as you would a guy doing the same thing.
2007-01-20 12:26:46 · answer #2 · answered by How many questions can there be? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her straight up in a firm and polite manner that ur straight dont treat her badly or b rude just b straight up and dont sell urself out coz of money or a job
2007-01-20 07:15:38 · answer #3 · answered by ladyluck 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Fabricate a story about a boy you fell head over heels in love with and confide in her about some terrible std he's given you, and ask her not to break your confidence. If she's still interested in you after that, she's one sick puppy and perhaps a restraining order may be more appropriate.
2007-01-20 07:14:39 · answer #4 · answered by mizzsquitz 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well you need to sit down and tell her that you don't swing that way but respectfully and you would love to stay friends with her. But if you do have some feelings for than you should tell her to just wait and hold off to see how things go. Just do what your insticts tell you Gurl. Gurl Power lol
2007-01-20 07:16:40 · answer #5 · answered by Nirra 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her as flattering as it is your straighter than tanto's straightest arrow and you only want her as a friend. If she cannot keep her hands off of you and act proper with you than she is no better than a man who does the exact same thing anyway. If she keeps it up after that report her to your boss.
-NmD!
2007-01-20 07:15:00 · answer #6 · answered by NoMaD! 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Be firm, and adopt a business like attitude with her.
Brush off small talk and keep things to the topic of work.
2007-01-20 07:15:23 · answer #7 · answered by Wuuut? 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her that you enjoy the friendship but you're not interested in being intimate with her. Just be straight up about it.Hopefully she will accept that,and if not, then tell her that if it doesn't stop,you will have to distance yourself from the friendship.
2007-01-20 07:16:20 · answer #8 · answered by ? 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her you are flattered by her attention and that she's a really lovely person but you prefer guys. Tell her she will be the first to know if you change your mind!!
2007-01-20 07:14:09 · answer #9 · answered by ChocLover 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
through experience ..... you should lose her .. think about her as if she is a man who loves u and you don't ,,, what will u do ? her needs of u differe than ur needs of her ....... so it's difficult to meet into a point that satisfy you and her . and i'm afraid that after ur avert to her she begins to revenge of you ........... So i think it's better to leave her immediately
2007-01-20 07:16:29 · answer #10 · answered by lele 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋