Can anyone help me, I have a boyfriend who is a hard core gamer.?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been dating almost three years. He loves to play video games, especially World of War Craft. We just had a big fight over it becuase he lyed to me about doing some stuff and instead it was playing his game. Its not the first time he lied to me about playing his game. So recently the 2nd part of the game came out and he wants to go buy it and I asked him not to becuase it puts alot of stress and problems in our relationship...so now I feel horrible becuase he was REALLY excited about it coming out. But he hasn't had a job in about 6 months and hasn't even tried to look for one...I love him to death but how can I express to him that those games aren't good for him. He has no people skills, friends, a job, and he barely does his school work. He doesn't understand he has no life except this game...how do I prove it to him without getting mad and threatening to end our relationship?

I have played the game a few times so that I'm not clueless when he talks about it and i wouldnt have a problem with him playing if he had a job and didn't revolve his life around it, even his mom and grandfather are concernced and have tried to talk to him about it...his father...well he has the same problem as his son.

Answer 1

Let me see. Not only WoW, all the good computer games out there are addictive, i remember i used to play need for speed and got so addicted to it i played till the next day nonstop. Ok gal, now in order for him to get over this your gonna have to play a big part, At one point in his day he will stand up and step aside from his computer, what you have to do is find a time he's in a cool mood, then like forget any problems you may have or had, and just hug him a bit, just make it the comfortable type.. Then while you are hugging him....Ask him like if he loves you and all that things like if he wants to be with you forever and you know the romantic story. then slowly you make him focus on his future, Im sure you know what he wants to be in the future....Just ask him what he needs to accomplish these goals, The answers would be get into a good college and all that right. This is exactly what you must make him understand. Then slowly you ask him, if what he is doing wil get him to those goals, tell him that at some point the game will end also ending your dream for the future. Then you ask him to like first do all his work and all that and find a nice free time for his game... And play one level at a time or something. Ask him to set a goal, to finish that day. A goal that covers Education, Fun and All that. You are the one he loves (i hope) and you love him a lot, so by telling him calmly but making an impact i suppose you can correct him. Please at all times if he get angry then you keep quiet. Trust me that will calm him down too.. By the way the problem about Friends and Life and Job will all solve if he can plan out his day.

Hope This is Helpful
Sean M

Answer 2

I am a WoW widow; my husband's been playing for over a year, every day, for hours. There really isn't anything you can do except get an account and play with him. (I haven't.)
There are worse things he could be doing--drugs, cheating on you, etc.
It is definitely an addiction, just as real as any other. But like an other addiction, the addict has to choose to overcome it. You can't choose for him.
You aren't married. You can always break up with him and find someone else who doesn't game and has a job. Who is paying for his monthly WoW fees? If you are, stop paying until he gets a job. Cut off the internet access. I have on occasion taken away my husband's keyboard (we have separate computers) to get his attention.
And yes, I bought the expansion for my husband for Christmas and when it came yesterday, I handed it to him, kissed his cheek and said "I guess I'll never see you again."
Then I went out with a bunch of my friends and had fun without him.

Answer 3

I m a game freak too, believe it or not on reader digest they told one guy died after playing this game more than 24 hrs. Listen game has become a part of his personality. He has become addicted too. Only solution is to take that game away. I was a game freak too, my pc had some problem for that i had to stop playing slowly my addiction waz ovr. Thank God.. U should stay more time with him and try too keep him busy with other stuffs. Tell his friends to explain him. Threatening to end ur relation might not solve the problem also he will get more time to play games COZ HE IZ ADDICTED.

Answer 4

OK Let me get this right u r living with a worthless piece of shiiiit. This guy is using u he has on job and sits around playing video games all day and u put up with that crap? PUT HIM OUT that will wake him up.

There is nothing wrong with Video games but when your fun starts to interfere with your normal life then u have a problem

Answer 5

hmm yeah my cousin is the same as your bf i think they like it because as you say they have no people skills and he probably has freinds on the game i think the best thing for yourself would be to leave him if he is blowing you off to play but if you really love him then you should try and help him with his people skills and get him into other interests outside of the house, or start playing it full time yourself, get to know the people that he plays with and see if there interested in meeting in person and try get them to relate to each other in another way other than playing the game,
the other guys here are right it is an addiction and you have to replace it with something else in order to get him out of it and if you really love him then you have to understand that he is addicted but he also needs to realise that he is addicted and he needs help

but i don't think it is the game itself that they are addicted to it is the relationships they form as the character on there with other people you see that some of the tasks on there require a huge amount of group co-operation and co-ordination it builds teamwork

but he has to understand that there are certain priorities he has to set he has to choose between two different worlds one where he is someone with no job, no no freinds and no people skills
and a world where working together with people and accomplishing things that require large group co-operations which may seem extremly satisfying
but he must understand that one of these worlds is real and has a future with happiness and a loving girlfreind and the other world although he is interacting with people and completing seemingly complicated tasks this world is not real and is simply not the way to escape his problems in the real world

Answer 6

LMAO, what a douchebag. World of Warcraft, no job, this sounds like the best guy ever!! Ha Ha. He totaly should be investing some time in exploring your areas. You should give up hope and find someone to knock the dust off for ya.

Answer 7

i COMPLETELY understand. try to sit down and just lay it all out, explain it in a way he'll understand (i'll assume he only has a small attention span for conversation?) or, maybe even try make a deal, for example- if he gets a full time job then you'll buy him the game. drag him out once a week, try do something social with him, mybe take him and your best friend and her boyfriend bowling or something... then he can get to know not only your friend, but start to know her boyfriend and then through him other people.

its probably hard to sit down and calmly talk about it, but don't yell. guys just get defensive if you yell. hope everything works out.

olli.

Answer 8

difficult one. my husband is also a gamer and that is all he is intersted in really. I however, am not. I tell myself that games to him is like my books to me. I get lost in the world of my books, he gets lost like me, only in video games. I think there has to be a nice balance though. He works and does things with me. He tries to get me to play, but I am not into them like I was when I was little. I do like Guitar Hero-try it. Usually while he plays I am reading a book sitting next to him on the couch. THere is a limit though, and if your bf has no goals or ambitions you have to decide just what you will put op with. You cannot change him, so either accept him, try to compromise, or dump his lazy butt if he is not willing to help himself and grow up!

Answer 9

MLB 11 The Show if he likes baseball. Crysis 2 is also a really good game that is similar to Black Ops Dont listen to these other guys the games they are mentioning are a little old. Except Killzone 3 i forgot that one, its also a pretty good game

Answer 10

You need to tell him straight, it will be hard for you both not to argue about it. I understand how your feeling because my bf used to be the same so i told him and yes we did argue but he started to compramise and stopped playing it so much and now he is working he hardly has time to play it at all. If he won't stop playing it as much once you've spoken to him about it then maybe he is just a bit imature for you.