I was a virgin up until the age of 23. Not due to religous or moral reason, mainly because my teenage years were so messed up I fell for this man but he turned me down when I was 21. What I found out later was he didnt want to date a virgin because my lack of experience turned him off i.e. I might be bad in bed, people were laughing at me etc. It wasn't like I was into "no sex before marriage" either, I just wanted to wait a month or two until I felt comfortable and I would hardly say I was a prudish person.I then lost my virginity at the age of 23 in a now notorious drunken one night stand which involved things outrageous enough to make most people blush (publicly). I was going through rough patch, drinking tequila and turns out, hypomanic. So I am now stuck with this shes a virgin/she's a whore reputation. My local student community can't work out which and judges me continually. I personally don't think its anybodies business, but is sexual expereince really such a big deal to men?
2007-01-19 21:48:18 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Jorluke's advice is excellent - think more about yourself, girl, and stop worrying about what men want and how to fix your reputation.
If I were you, I would concetrate on my studies and keep a fairly low profile for now. If you want to know what men want, I can tell you this: they are attracted to women who are just that little bit mysterious, just that little bit unattainable, but most of all they are attracted to women who like and value themselves.
You mention too that you were 'hypomanic' - have you been diagnosed as bi-polar? If you find your concentration wandering and that your life feels a little out of your control, maybe you should discuss this with your doctor.
Above all, learn to value yourself and remember, in a couple of years you will never see your student community again, so who cares what they are saying?
2007-01-19 22:41:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever thought this man may have turned you down because he may have been bad in bed not you think about it you will always remember your first time.Cant understand why people would laugh at you for being a virgin though.You lost your virginity in a one night stand so what it,s done now there is nothing you can do probably not they way you wanted to but you cant change it now.If you have only had sex once how can you be a whore??????? most men would love to have sex with a virgin because of the purity of a virgin that is all nothing else and sexual experience is not important to a man who is a good lover forget what other people think of you
2007-01-20 06:32:59 · answer #2 · answered by oG33MANo 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Having dated a lot of guys in my 37 years... I can testify that there is a mixture of all the above. Some men find virgins a turn-on because they want their woman to be heretofore unadulterated and untouched by other men. Some are seeking a virgin for religious reasons. Some seek a virgin because they (the guy) are a virgin too, and they prefer a virgin who doesn't know what she's doing in bed either, so they can both learn and explore together. Some guys find virgins a turn-off for the reasons you mentioned. Some guys don't really care -- they feel sex is sex, girls are girls, and it doesn't really matter to them.
Forgive yourself, and don't worry about your reputation. We have ALL made mistakes that we were not proud of "the morning after." Hang in there and keep your chin up. Be sorry for what you did that violated your own rules. And move on! And trust God. No guy is going to be perfect. Just keep looking for the guy who loves you "just the way you are." He is out there: every old pot has a lid! :)
2007-01-20 05:58:55 · answer #3 · answered by prodaugh-internet 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I don't think experience is a big deal. Maybe to some men, but as long as you haven't had hundreds of parntners, it should not be a big deal. The fact that you were a virgin until you were 23 is a good thing in the first place. Besides, most women don't really enjoy their first time anyway. Also, lack of experience might be good, because you and your next parter can learn what each other likes. PS...the guy who turned you down due to "lack of experience" is a jerk. =)
2007-01-20 05:56:26 · answer #4 · answered by ch323 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Personally, Id be telling the busy bodys that are minding your business for you to take a hike...Its nothing to do with them. Dont let it worry you, your virginity is gone now, next time just be sober when you choose a sexual partner so you have no regrets.... And if that guy you fell for when you were 21 was such a d.i.c.k then you are better off without him. Dont let what he said to others get you down or give you a complex!
2007-01-20 07:14:09 · answer #5 · answered by Eve M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not so much experince but guys maybe stressed as thin they are hurting you first time, or you are all tense and stuff.
Difficult just to relax with someone. So Id prefer not virgin but not super experienced as Im not super experienced... ie it would be fun trying new things together no oh been there , done that, boring.
If still up for stuff fine.
Morality is not being abully... Sex does not come into it
Sounds like you need a different community who does not see sex as a moral issue.
2007-01-20 05:57:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
really sounds like you are into the community and keen on your reputation. sounds like a bunch of ninny girlfriends and half-@ss alpha male wanna-bes. I would just stick to your studies and wait for the right guy to come along. If you engage in your direction and meditations on what you want in life rather than trying to contort your appearance to be paletable for others you will be much more happy and dealing with much more interesting things.
I reccommend you stop worrying about what men want because the only rule amongst men is we are horny. For what though is delivered to ourselves in our private meditations. You should not worry about how good or not you are in bed as much as knowing what you like and committing to going after it. It seems to me you even want to be malleable in this regard to be desirable that you ask this question. Perhaps to decide which image to reenforce?
Seriously, forgive my judgementality. I am just throwing random javelins hoping one scores a hit with you.
Sexual experience is a big deal to promiscuous drunkards.
Intimacy (openness and communication) is a big deal to any real person regardless of sex. Meet a guy you want to screw and talk to him a while before giving it up. There is no theatrical expertise you will need and no alcohol that need be imbibed for this. If you end up marrying someone you will have a lifetime to explore things together.
So remember this basically, experience = good for drunken ragers, they dont even wanna know your name, just give good head.
non expereince or not = doesnt matter at all if you are settled in yourself and respectable and looking for a real relationship.
remember not to try too too hard now...except in your affective studies that is.
2007-01-20 06:05:38 · answer #7 · answered by jorluke 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Personally, a virgin is kind of a turn on.
The seal of the deal is the person themselves. If I can relate to them and there is som interested in them that is the true turn on. With the human needs like looks, personality and their nature should also be thrown into the count.
Hope this helps,
Mike
2007-01-20 05:55:02 · answer #8 · answered by Michael W 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being a Virgin itself isnt a bad thing.. Ya people believes are different.. All you gota do is to find the right person.. Who will not only be supporting in bed time.. but also in the real life.
Else if you wan one night.. make sure, you trust the person first and use the safety..
2007-01-20 05:53:34 · answer #9 · answered by deepak_k_rana 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It can be either, neither, both. A lot of men want to take it from you, some still want to marry a virgin. Some could care less. and others don't want the drama that comes with being your first.
2007-01-20 06:14:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋