Should I give in?

Question

I am trying so hard lately not to "party" or drink...the hard part is... I feel like I am missing out.. I keep getting text messages about all the fun events not going on that I am invited to. It is so hard because I am trying to focus on being a Mom and focus on my career and my responsibilites, but my FRIENDS want me to go out and party with them constantly. I am 31 years old, single, and I have a seven year old daughter.. is it WRONG for me to go out to clubs? Whenever I do, I feel all guilty even though I NEVER leave with a guy, and when I don't I feel like I am putting myself in a cage. is it wrong for me to party? I feel confused about this...

Answer 1

as long as it isnt affecting your life they go out and have a great time and stop feeling guilty

Answer 2

I can speak from experience, was a clubber when I was in my 20's and also in my 20's I learned that clubbing wasn't ish and that I actually wasn't missing nothing @all. See I was clubbing in a time and age where dancing was just that after a while it just wasn't fun dancing, music, club scene even changed. There is always one bad apple in the bunch,however people take the fun out of the club scene cause they always wanna fight. Which brings my next theory, If u are gonna drink first of all be able 2 hold the amount of liquor u consume and/or know your limit and if u don't have a limit make one. Otherwise If u go2 the club and u do drink just say no and have a Shirley temple.Last,but not least remember one thing u are not missing anything out there in them streets.

Answer 3

I was a single mom to my daughter when I was your age. I was fortunate to have the opportunity to date a lot and did. This is how I handled my priortity as a parent: I saved a day of the week for my daughter and I to do a chore together-usually general housework, because I worked to support us- and we would have dinner prepared and eat together at the table every night during the week-can't explain but a very very good routine for getting together with your child. Then my night was Saturday Night. I was fortunate to have friends who would watch her and my parents were very involved-she is an only grandchild. I would never drink to excess. I wanted to be aware for my safety, so I could be there for her. But, I did have great times that belonged just to me. Sundays without question belonged to my daughter and I. We would do fun things together like go to the zoo.

My daughter is now 28 and is a very independent young woman. She, thank goodness, has never had issues with drugs or alchohol. She has turned out to be pretty damn cool. Believe me, you do not want to "miss out" on being a responsible loving parent. It is the best investment you can make. You must learn to balance is all. In the end you'll end up with a close relationship with a healthy and happy adult child, loads of self esteem for yourself and respect from those who count. You do not want to Miss Out on that one. Hope this helped.

Answer 4

Your conscience is telling you the answer. The fact that you feel guilty when you do go out is the best indication that there is a conflict between these two issues. Parents should not be "partying" they should be raising their kids. Adults have social events, they don't "party." If you feel the need to expand a little bit, why not go to church and take the kid with you.

Answer 5

Your daughter needs you and wont be little forever.Think of fun things you can do with her like a video and popcorn night.If you want to socialise with your friends then do so by all means when your daughter has a sleepoverat a friends house butalways leave a phone number for her.That could be your night out..We all need a break from our kidsKeep up the good work.

Answer 6

It depends on how often you party. I would say you need to limit yourself... make one night a month your night to go out and have fun. The rest of the time... think of fun things you can do with your daughter because she won't be little forever and when she gets older she's not going to want to hang out with mom. Find friends that have children around her age so you can hang out with them and your kid at the same time.

I'm a 24 year old mom to a 4 year old and I have not been to a club since I have been a mom... but I do hang out with friends on occassion without my child... but it's rare.

Answer 7

Everything in moderation. Don't deny yourself or you'll start to get resentful. Just keep things balanced. If you don't overindulge, I would think that a drink or two wouldn't hurt as long as you "never leave with a guy" like you said. Since your daughter is only seven I am assuming that you would find someone suitable to stay with her if you went out.

Answer 8

My dear Leoness,to go to parties itsn't so bad,only what you need to do is to be near to your daughter everytime she will need you advice,your opinion,your love.But about parties,drink it's normal for your age,because 31 it's just a beggining of beautiful life.Try to make your daughter to understand you,try to make a conecction between you and your baby,and never forget in life friends are important,but our babies are the most important thing of our living.Sometimes it will be good to say NO to your friends,and just have a good time with your daughter. SUCCES U WILL CAN BE A GOOD MOTHER AND A DEVOTED FRIEND

Answer 9

good on you for trying to change your life but you also need balance. Maybe go out once a fortnight (two weeks if your American, I hear you don't use the word fortnight) You still need to have fun. All work and no fun makes mum go crazy lol. Just limit it, your daughter also needs you to spend time with her. Do some fun things with her to

Answer 10

You NEED a life of your own. You are a mom, and it sounds a really good one, but you are also an individual. If you go out and BE RESPONSIBLE about it, it should only reinforce good things to your daughter. By no means would it be right to go out and get roaring drunk, or to even go out every night and not get drunk. But you do need to keep a life outside of motherhood. Your daughter will grow up, move out, get her own life. If you haven't maintained a life outside what you two have you will be lost and very alone. I believe they term that empty-nest syndrome now.
No, it's not wrong to enjoy yourself. Get a sitter, go out, be responsible, have fun once in a while! :)

Answer 11

any extreme is bad. so locking yourself to the house could be bad just as partying every night would be. have you thought about a middle ground. such as having friends over and playing cards while the kids watch a movie? can you set up for you child to sleep over at one of her friend? as for your friends constantly begging for your attain is bad, would they be calling/ texting if you had a 2nd job? being parent is like almost always on duty and always on call when not on duty. when you do get to go try to enjoy yourself be a woman and not just your daughter mom.