My best friend annoys me. She calls every single day and we must talk for atleast and hour on the phone. I'm not a phone person so it's horrible! She gets upset if I go out with my other friends. she gets upset if I talk with my other friends on the phone. She has a friggin list with the names of my other friends in it, other friends who are 'dangerous on my friendship with her'!! She doesnt understand the concept of giving advice,she thinks I should listen to every word she says and she keeps nagging and nagging and shoving her so called advices down my throat. She speaks in this cartoon voice thinking its cute. She wants me to take her out and she calls me hers. She hates my fiance and my fiance thinks she's jealous of him! She always asks me if I'd ever leave her. She cries if I ignore her *unintentionally*. I'm a very privare person yet she expects and demands me to tell her every single detail of my life and everything I did when she's not with me *which is rarely anyway*.
2007-01-19 20:51:13 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
How do I back her off without hurting her feelings? I'm her only friend. She's such a drama queen and I know confronting her will lead to lots of tears and hurt. I dont wanan lose her completely as a friend, but I just want her to back off a little.
2007-01-19 20:53:03 · update #1
First begin a talk by letting her know you care about her and you care about her wants because she is your friend and that is what friends do. they try to be understanding and to put at times the other needs before their own and that you need this from her that you need this space from her just to "back off a little" not out the door you need me time ...you hope she can give you that...
GL
2007-01-19 21:02:30 · answer #1 · answered by UmaCat 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first of all there is 4 levels of friendship (buddy-friend-close friend-then u know what happens after that she stuck) u gived her the chance ,you have to make afew steps before u tell her that u dont like what she is doing bec u dont wanna hurt her :
-when she calls u on the phone after 2 min or so tell her that some one is calling you or u have to go to the bathroom(as u dont give her the chance to talk for an hour).
-when you are out with her tell her about the things that would make u annoyed from some one and start bringing how does she annoy u by talking in general.
-talk to her more about how do u like to be private and that you get annoyed when some body gets in your life details.
-keep on doing this stuff for aweek then move tothe next step of doing an action
-write to her an e-mail contains ten things u like about her and 10things u hate about her and that u wish she would stop the things u hate and u will be her friend for ever..bla..bla..bla.
-if she argued with u about that start totell her what u realy feel and she should stop that (by apolite and friendly way).
2007-01-19 21:26:55 · answer #2 · answered by truth_aplomb 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend seems like a very lonely person with fears of abandonment. Although she may be very annoying at times, controlling and demanding, but she's only afraid of losing her only friend. Try letting her know that you will always be her buddy, but there are things that really bother you. Be honest, but gentle and sensitive. Maybe you can introduce her to other people. If she had friends, hobbies and interests, she wouldn't need to feel the need to depend on you so much.
2007-01-19 21:02:56 · answer #3 · answered by artutina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why donot you set your priorities right when it comes to your best friend...
well you to have a life of your own.. but good friends are difficult to find and i think you should not do anything to hurt her...but at times you have to tell your friend that... try to relax a bit donot think too much.. about her advices n all, well u can listen to them, but u donot have to follow whatever she says.. do what u feel like doing... i guess you donot have to give explanation to her for everything.. if she is upset n angry or tell her that you are sorry n tell her not to mind small things...m sure she'll understnd everything , it might take time though.....
2007-01-19 21:10:35 · answer #4 · answered by hi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's a tough one. the only thing i can think of is just to make space for yourself. kind of set a schedule and stick to it until she gets use to it. a person only does what you allow them to do. start by only talking to her for half an hour then saying you'll call her back. then work your way up to only talking to her every other day. she does sound jealous and eventually she will start to come between you and your spouse.
2007-01-19 20:58:03 · answer #5 · answered by chrisarea_99 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's a toxic friend with no respect for your time or you really. She needs to be hurt to learn that you can't be this way with people. There's no way around it but telling her how you feel with as much sensitivity as possible. If she doesn't respect your feelings, she's not really a friend. Good luck.
2007-01-19 20:57:23 · answer #6 · answered by itry007 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are over 3.5 million singles waiting to chat with you at Mate1.com
http://lnk.in/488m
2007-01-19 21:55:18 · answer #7 · answered by kelli 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's in love with you. yes in love. just like you've done to men your going to have to tell her you ONLY want to be friends not lovers. Just like a man that gets his feelings hurt your going to have to tell her you have alot of FRIENDS and if she doesn't like it to bad. It's her problem and not yours.
2007-01-23 05:49:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Have a 1 day i am all yours. have what she really likes to do. then do it the same to your friends. make a fancy excuuse.
2007-01-19 21:12:30 · answer #9 · answered by Ann Louise 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
just tell her what u think about her and if she didnt respond, then u should choose, whether to accept her as she is or to leave her
2007-01-19 21:00:40 · answer #10 · answered by nuha k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋