I'm begging for advices...really need helpppp?

Question

My husband hasn't kiss or even touch me since last month. He ask me to do what he wants when he needs it. I told him and he ignored. Living wit family I already got enough depress. They even try to controll me. Keep telling how to take care of my 4 months daughter. Get mad when I go visit my mom in North Cali. once a month. Mother inlaw called my husband stupid for letting me go that often, waste money and so on.. He told me he'll never move out even 5 mins away. Wanted to help his family...My sisters will come visit my daughter and I tomorrow. Should I come wit them back to North cali? I'm tired wit this life, i can see he doesn't love me. Am I a bad mom if I take my daughter away from her dad? please hellllllppppp thanks

We're in south cali, I'm not always go to North cali once a month sometimes once in 2 months just depend if i have time.

I'm too tired to talk to him, he'll never understand and he said i'm tired with ur face like that, if u're not happy and ur family is so important to u then go back there, go, go but leave my daughter here, I don't need you."

I was too tired to answer his question, he push my head back and grabbed my face and said " stop ignoring me when I'm talking" and I can see he wanted to punch me. " i told him don't touch me and told me to go back to north cali but leave our daughter wit him. He always push my head and slap my face when I ignore him.

THANK YOU ALL wit ur advices i feel so much better, I'll try my best to be my part in her life and also take over her daddy's part. I'll be her both mom and dad. When he realized how we're important to him , he can always ask for forgiveness.

Answer 1

He needs to leave his family= and get his act together- there is a scripture that says a man shall leave his parents and cleave to his wife= and the two shall become one= see if he will go for counseling- if not - you have a tough road- check out Jimmy evans online- great marriage advise- take care-D

Answer 2

While I do not advocate divorce, what happens is up to you. We each hold our own key. I hope you can get this.

He should cling to you and let go of his mom. First thing that need done is to be adults and stand on your own. I am going to assume you are young. When you marry, you marry their family too, but not usually in this litteral sense.

Stop "doing what he wants you to do". Is he doing what you want him to do? Let the shoe stay on the other foot for a while and see if he likes being neglected.

I think I would return with my sisters. Lay the law down to him. Tell him how you feel: what you need, aren't getting, respect you, get the family (you, hubby, kid) their own home. If he won't/can't even do this for his family, he's a looser anyway and you got your self into a fine mess. You can also get yourself out (mostly).

Mother in law "sounds" like a bitter controlling person and if this is true, he probably is too. This is none of her business.

If you do seperate or divorce or what ever, remember this if nothing else: These will seem like your darkest days, but hold on and keep the faith. It DOES get better IF you let it. A year from that date, you will barely remember all the hurt / anguish. You will discover you are stronger than you ever thought. You may go it alone, but life is too short to be miserable. You won't always be alone either!

I am a guy and have lost someone I loved deeply. I know the pain (I divorced her after much anguish). I also know that brighter days are ahead.

Answer 3

Leave and leave now and take your daughter or he will take out his anger on your girl. DO NOT TAKE ABUSE.Get to your family as quick as possible but don't act strange if you have to wait for your regular visit with your family, just take what you usually take and your daughter usual things you take and do not come back, you can always find more things. He abuses you because he feels powerful at his parents house and they probably do not help you when he abuses you, so go home and try to start new. If you feel in danger now go to a shelter ask a cop to help if you know one that doesn't side with him,whatever you do get out. I know what I am talking about, I was abused for 12 years and you start to think it is your fault and you deserve the beating.

Answer 4

Why in HEAVEN'S name would you think its ok to stay with a guy who smacks you when he's angry with you?

Why do you think he wouldn't do this to your daughter, too?

Why do you think he will ever leave his family's house if you're living there now and he's allowing them to control you.

If what you're telling us is true, then it is your responsibility as a parent to ensure that your daughter is never abused as she grows up.

If this means you press charges the next time your husband hits you, do it.

ANY time he hits you, that's assault. You can press charges for assault and then file a restraining order.

You may (depending on state laws) be required to let him have visitation of your daughter. But any man with a record of domestic abuse is going to have one hell of a time getting custody of a child as a single parent unless he can prove you're unfit and worse than he is!!

If your husband hits you, call the cops. (Do not hit back unless you must to save your life.)
PRESS CHARGES!

When you go to court for domestic assault charges, take documentation with you listing the dates the last fights occured as far bakc as you can remember. Remember and write down what the fights are about. Take these and show the judge that you are in a situaiton which is abnormal and dangerous.

TELL THE JUDGE THAT YOU FEAR FOR YOUR DAUGHTER'S SAFETY. That you're worried that you husband may oneday be violent with your child, too.

Ask the judge for sole custody of your daughter. Then, when you have permission from the courts, take your child and move to northern cali with your family (if the courts let you go that far.)

He's not going to change.

The first time a man hits me is the last time a man will hit me

(Its also the last time they'll feel their balls for a week.)

Answer 5

you poor thing, i would pack a bag and go with your sisters. your daughter is too young to be upset by the situation so dont woory about her in the long run you will be doing her a favour, she will grow up to be trapped if you stayed there so end it now. no one has the right to make you do something you dont want to not even a husband. i think he sounds like a horrible man. i know he probably swept you off your feet when you met him but that doesnt give him the right to treat you like this. his family sound awful too. he cares more about there opinion than yours so get out now honey and make a good life for yourself it will be hard but you deserve the best. good luck love. pack them bags now phone your sisters and get them to come today. they will if you tell them how bad things are. all the best xx

Answer 6

You need to take your daughter and get out of there fast. You don't deserve to be treated like that and your daughter doesn't need to grow up watching him treat you that way either. Getting away from him is not making you a bad Mom, its making you a good one for taking your daughter out of an abusive environment. Good Luck

Answer 7

Yes the child needs the father but you will get depressed if you continue staying there Move out for some time,if he misses you he will come to you.otherwise life goes on

Answer 8

no your not a bad mom don't say that. you said you talked to him but hes still the same well then try counseling or getting away for a while is good to, to clear your mind up a lil and help you relax and try to find a solution...

Answer 9

Get out while you can, but your daughter should not lose contact with her father. If you're not happy, why stay? Be with the people who love you. Good luck.

Answer 10

Go with your sisters, when you are gone he may find out how much he loves? you. Get away while you still can and take that baby with you!!!