Smoking etiquette?

Question

So, I hang out with a friend a lot who insists on always driving so she can smoke. But I have asthma and am quite intolerant of smoke. She'll blast the air and open the windows, but it doesn't help. I can still breathe it, and I end up smelling like it when I leave her car. I mean, is that right, to just do something like that even if it's a medical issue with your friend? I'm tired of it, but I know she'll ***** if I ask her not to smoke around me. I just need a little advice, I guess.

Answer 1

You have asthma. You need to explain to her what asthma is.
Because I don't think she understands.
I smoke my self. I also have a friend with asthma. If he asked me to smoke outdoors, and not in the car or house, be it so.
Two reasons: I'm his friend, and Possession is nine=tenths of the law.
Have the conversation at your place, or somewhere you can walk home from in 5 minutes. But you'll have to tell her
eventually.

There are ways of telling her what's up without getting her
angry. You could always tell her, " It's going to be tough
hanging out with you if I lose my ability to breathe."
Hey, worst case, offer to step out of her car while she smokes.

Answer 2

No that is completly reasonable. She should havwe enough respect for you being your friend to not smoke. I am a smoker and my Mother has athsma. She can handle it when I smoke but out of respect for her I don't smoke when she comes over the house because I think it's pretty rude. I would take your own car if your friend is going to smoke like that. I'm quitting in the am so that is why I am still up. Need to get in as many as possible before I sleep off the next three days. That is too bad your friend is like that.

Answer 3

Just tell your friend that the smoking is causing your asthma to act up and making it hard for you to breath and ask her not to smoke while you're in the car.....if she really is your friend she will understand and not smoke around you.........

another thing you could do...if she is driving around to smoke...maybe , you guys could occasionally stop and get out for awhile to let her have a smoke..where you can stand far enough away from her that it wont bother your asthma and she can get her fix,so to speak.......kind of a compromise

Answer 4

You have to stand up for yourself, if she is a real friend she'll understand. I know what you mean though. I have a "boyfriend" that doesn't smoke and he has asthma too, in fact he's not speaking to me right now because I have not quit yet. I don't smoke around him and told him I will quit before we move in together but I understand and if she REALLY likes you she wont smoke around you. Good luck!

Answer 5

Always drive yourself, even when she offers. Let her drive separately, in her own car by herself.

If she doesn't care enough about you to refrain from smoking for a few minutes to avoid risking your health and life, reconsider having her as a friend. You could also have a near-fatal asthma attack in her car, so to scare the pee out of her, but hopefully, that won't be necessary.

Answer 6

I would just tell her. If she's a real friend I'm sure she won't mind not smoking for you. If it's a really long journey just make sure to plan a couple stops for her so she can get out of the car and have a smoke. It shouldn't be a big deal. :-)

Answer 7

I experienced the same exact thing like you did before.
And that person who used to be my friend is now not anymore.
Simply as that.
Your friend has no respect and esteem towards your health problem. You don't meet her every single day, do you? IF you only meet her once a week or once a month, she is the one who has to sacrifice her smoking things for you as her friend (if she does care about you). She already smokes all the time, every second without you around her at all.
So, the important question now is why it is so hard for her not to smoke for only half a day -only half a day once a month- when you both meet up together? Why is so difficult to stop smoking just only when she meets up with you, while she really can smoke all day long every single second non stop?

That is simply means she has no respect and understanding for you as her friend at all for your health problem - even - if she doesn't mean it at all and so unconscious about it. Respect is truly a very important thing within any kind of relationships.
I suggest you really need to tell her about this. And ask her if she really really care of you as her friend and you have a health problem, WHY is so hard for her for not smoking ONLY when you both meet up together as a matter of fact she smokes already every single minute without you. And you might let her know to consider this as a respect, recognition and courtesy towards your health problem, especially towards you as her friend. If she really has a respect and understanding for your health problem and you as her friend then she would stop smoking when you both meet up together.
.

Answer 8

Yes, I agree with driving in seperate cars, if it comes to that. Next time you plan on going somewhere with her, just tell her you will meet her there. When she asks why, then tell her because yo do not like riding in ANY car with a smoker. She might not like it, but if she is a friend she will agree not to smoke while you are in the car. If she cannot agree to do this, then follow through on your threat to drive seperately.

Answer 9

I agree with the first answerer. If you can't stand to be around smoke, just don't ride around in the car with her. You could simply say, "The smoke really bothers my asthma so I'd rather take my own car."

I don't have asthma but I wouldn't like to get a snootful of secondhand smoke either. I causes cancer.

Answer 10

I'm sorry to say, that if it's her car, then she has the right to smoke if she wants. The only advice that I could give you is to stop riding with her and meet her where ever it is that your going.