My family broke my heart, now I have trust issues, anybody in the same boat?

Question

I used to love my mom, sisters & friends with all my heart, but I have been betrayed so much I have becomed isolated from others. I feel uncapable to trust.
Anybody in my same situation and a way they overcomed the fear of intimacy?

Answer 1

This is long, but bare with me.
I am in the same boat. My father was abusive, physically and verbally. My mother loved her boyfriend and herself more than me at one point. My aunty chose her ex-addict, bum, no child support paying, boyfriend, that she hasn't seen in over 8 years, over me. My grandma said I couldn't live with her anymore. My friends took advantage of my kindness, and took, took and took from, then left. And finally a family friend raped me when I was a child. I am emotionally scared forever. I don't trust anyone. I try not to get to close to people that way they never are able to hurt me. My past is full of heartache that haunts me everyday. But not all is lost. My mom and I healed our relationship. It took many fights and me hating her for a couple years, to finally get past all the hurt and be best friends. My aunty and I were so close before her boyfriend came back into her life. We're not that close anymore, but we still love each other and I've forgiven her. He's still in her life, but he doesn't really come around that much. My grandma changed her mind, but said we both had to make some changes. My friends are no longer any part of my life. But I don't need people like that in my life. As for my father I haven't spoke to him in about 6 years. I've never gotten over the hurt he caused me, but I'm working on letting go. And lastly, being raped is something can't get over and still hurt from it. It takes a lot to break down the walls of defense that you put up to protect yourself. I still haven't. It takes time, lots of time. I believe that I will be able to trust again, at least I hope I will. My family has broken my heart so many times that I thought I was going to die. But I'm still here, and they're the only family I've got. We say things to hurt each other, but at the end of the day regret it and wish we could take it back. Trust...I only trust God and myself...for now.

Answer 2

I do understand what you are saying. I am a 45 year old female and my family was very close until one day my sister that is 6 years younger than me ran off with my boyfriend that I had been in love with my whole life and we were going to marry. We had lived together for 7 years. I have never been so betrayed in my life. It took me a long time to trust anyone again even the rest of my family and they did nothing they even stood beside me on the issue. But you know what I found out is that not everyone in life is like my sister is. You have to try your best to trust it is hard but you will do it. It has been 7 years since all of this happened and no one in my family talks or deals with my sister or my ex including me but we are a normal family again. What one person does is not what the whole world does. You may need to seek a counslor if it is too bad I thought that is what I was going to have to do. But I found people and slowly let them in and now find out that I can trust. I am not sure if I ever trust 100% again but I am sure trying it. I feel if I do not learn to trust again it will only be my life that is lonely so you have to let go and try. Take it slow but it will come. Good Luck I know it is hard.

Answer 3

It hurts to be betrayed by anyone especially if it's by someone close to you. The only thing that helped me was take it day by day and even if its just a bubble bath do something good for you once a day. Make new friends, but move slowly and eventually you may feel you can trust again. Trust is earned but don't take it out on the world because everyone out there is mean or the betraying type. Live` love`laugh its good for the soul. Good luck and I hope things get better for you.

Answer 4

i have the same situation. Just try not depend so much on those people. Just always remember that nobody could do things better than you do. You can't trust anybody but yourself. But this doesn't mean having ill-feelings to these people. Don't isolate yourself because you'll be the loser. Forgive them but don't put yourself in the same situation again. Continue to treat them with the same love but try not to expect too much from them. Put barriers. Accept in yourself that you cant't trust anybody but yourself. If you do, this won't be an issue anymore. This will put you in a more advantage position when it comes to dealing with life.

Answer 5

Trust

Answer 6

my parents lied to me constanly.. and of course i found one lie after another out... like they expected me to be stupid... yeah i have trust issues.. but only with them... one thing i learned is dont take what others have done to u out on those that havent... only treat someone the way that they deserve to be treated.. i mean think about it... would u like it if someone came up to u and punched u bc of what someone else did... yeah that would suck huh... well when u treat ppl a certain way bc of what others did... thats like punchin them bc ur brother punched u

thats how i got over it

Answer 7

Find friends and lovers who will treat you with respect.

When you're no longer dependent on your crazy family you can start working on them to be better people.

See a counselor, it helps.

Answer 8

I dont know the details so without saying youneed to give more details.

Answer 9

i am here
i have faced the same aftre that i lost trust on everybod
[e-mail]

Answer 10

You need to talk to someone if you feel this way