Is it ok that my son sleeps in my bed?

Question

My wife died about 3 yrs ago from breast cancer. Since that time, my son (now 7) has been sleeping in my bed with me. I am about to start working on returning him to his own bed. I am curious if there may have been or will be any negative effects from letting him sleep with me for this long.
FYI-I'm not a pedophile, so please refrain from suggesting that in your responses. Thank You

to 6bits: I just got him a TV, and even hooked up cable, in his room ;)

Answer 1

You know, he (and you) suffered a tremendous loss. Sleeping next to you might have been the safety net and comfort he needed. If you are ready to move him out of the bed, do it gradually. Maybe help him pick new sheets for his bed and a special light. MAKE SURE you establish a routine for bedtime. That helps kids. If you feel comfortable, keep one night a week snuggle night.
Our kids slept on and off with us. I see no harmful effects. They are 12 now and sleep in their own beds just fine. Sleeping together when the child is comfortable and the parents dressed appropriately is fine, but if you are ready to move him to his bed do it with routine and make time to snuggle in the morning.
Good Luck.

Answer 2

I wouldn't say that there would be negative effects just some readjustments.
Try inviting a friend/ family member his age over for the weekend and let them sleep in your son's room. Every other weekend for a month or two. During that time let him fall asleep in your bed but wake up in his own every now and again. Depending on your childs personality, he'll either adapt quickly or it may take some time.

Answer 3

Try getting him a small, light-mantenance pet that will stay in the room with him. That worked for me when i was little, me and my older brother are 6.5 years apart, and when i was about 5, my parents decided that he needed his own room. The only problem was that i didn't feel secure about sleeping in a room alone because when i was in the room with my big brother (not the same bed though), i always knew that if anything were to happen that he would protect me. So then when my parents got me my own room i felt like i was just sitting out there all alone with no one to defend me in the middle of the night, and i wouldn't sleep because of that. (I had built up a safety blanket) my parents had made me this nice room and everything, but i just wouldn't sleep in it, so once they realized that it wasn't working and that i wasnt getting enough sleep at night, they got me a little rabbit and made it my responsibility. It was in my room, and then i was able to sleep in there. I know it sounds crazy 'cuz what is a rabbit going to do if something were to happen, right?! but it worked. Sometimes it just takes something as small as that. But you might want to let your son pick out his own pet, i did! Good Luck!!

Answer 4

i agree with the first answer.. put a seperate bed in ur room.. to wein him from sleepin directly with u... then slowly get him to sleep in his own room.... definately explain to him that he is becoming too old to sleep in the bed and room with u, but u are ok to take it slow with him until he feels comfortable... i dont know if a tv is such a great thing in the room... i hate them personally and i think it makes a new dependency... u tucking him in at night and reading him a good book like tom sawyer or something detailing that he might fall asleep to in a chapter or 2 will def give him something to look foward to going to bed to... and it will keep a bond with the 2 of u at that "night time" leaving the door cracked open is good... and telling him that u will check on him thru the night... its reassuring... also make sure he is fully aware that if he has nightmares he can come to u, and u will be ok with it.. dont be mad if it takes a while eventhough i cant see u doing that...
im terribly sorry for ur loss... but ur son is at that age where u are right its ok, but it needs to start now to change...

i hope i helped and best of luck to u

Answer 5

There is nothing wrong with it. He lost his mother and one thing you should know about children that small ( well techonaly any child ) they can feel when there parents are upset or down even if you try not to show it he probably started out trying to comfort you but grew used to it don't worry he'll start sleeping in his own bed soon you said you have a tv in there for him thats good lay in there with him and watch it with him till he falls asleep ( oh and if you rub his eye brows he'll fall asleep it works believe me lol thats how my mom used to get me to sleep and I do it to my nephews works like a charm )

Answer 6

You can lay in his bed next to him until he falls asleep. Just remember if he wakes up in the middle of the night he will most likely be scared and crawl back in bed with you. You may also want to put a nightlight in his room so that if he does wake up he can see were he is. This may help him from being as scared.
No this will not emotional scar him. If anything it has probably help him deal with his loss better.

Answer 7

my brother slept in my mums bed til he was 7. he has slept in his own bed for 3 years now. you probably feel the need for him to be close since yor wife died but he will love to havehis own room to keep. Get him a cute duvet cover and pillow case and make bed time fun. If he wants read him a story and talk about the day. lethim now your in the next room and he'll be fine.

Answer 8

Is it ok that my son sleeps in my bed? yeah is mornal to me because usally i was sleep with my mom, my sisters too but this is fine don't wrong too much beside ur son just 7 years old ( but i think the age is not a problem at all because daddy slept with son )

Answer 9

As long as he wakes up in his bed he should be fine. I know it may sound unconventional but if he has a TV in his room it may be easier for him to fall asleep. What's better falling asleep with Dad or the TV on?

Answer 10

He is still very young so I doubt there is any problems with it. I would start getting him used to sleeping alone before he gets much older, aside from bad dreams or something he should be sleeping in his own bed as he is becoming a big boy now.
-NmD!