how can i get my toddler to listen to me when i try to teach him words.l?

Question

My friends always tell me what words their child says and i feel ashamed and feel like im letting me and my child down when he doesnt say as many words. He ignores me and just babbles and plays with his toys. Sometimes he'll say words when i tell him to but its mostly when he wants to. I mean he already went potty in his potty chair and hes only 18 months old. Maybe hes really independant and he is just not ready to.Ofcourse he gets aggrivated when he wants something and he cant just tell me. He does really try.

Answer 1

my doctor told me that my son was more of a listener and that he would speak when he felt secure with it. he is now 10 and has been tested through his school for a learning difficulty because they said he has a communication issue. his test results came back as him having a 15 yr olds iq over general knowledge and applied knowledge and his instructor said the test could be flawed some because once she stopped talking to him like a 10 yr old he stopped rolling his eyes at her and started talking about physics, philosophy and history of evolution.

in short... kids are all different and to assume one is behind based on another is not an accurate reading of ones intelligence. you may just be boring him.

ps my son walked at 9 months, potty trained by 2 and talked his first 2 word sentence at 2 and a half." dumb dogs"

Answer 2

It is so hard not to feel bad when someone else's child is doing more than yours. Your child may not be speaking a whole lot right now, but he is probably doing something that your friends' children cannot do. Some kids talk early, some do not. Some go on the potty early, some do not. Try to focus on making sure that your child is speaking at a level that is appropriate for his age. Sign language is a great way for babies to communicate with you. He will pick it up quickly, and research shows that it will boost his IQ and give him better language skills when he is ready to talk.

Answer 3

You can't make a toddler learn their verbal skills, it's something each child does in his/her own time. If he is babbling and saying a few words here and there then he is doing okay.

If you want to help him learn talk to him about everything. When he is frustrated tell him what he is feeling and what he wants. For instance:

"Are you hungry? Do you want a banana? Here is your banana. Thank you mommy for the banana. Mmmm, that is a good banana."

It sounds silly to us but that is how I taught my children. It sounds like he is on the right track. And keep in mind that lots of people brag about their kids but some of their bragging can be exaggerated. For instance, some babies may pee in the potty at 12 months one time and someone will say "Mine baby is already potty trained!" To me that is not potty trained!

Answer 4

First off you are doing all the right things thus far. I love your view on yelling and totally agree. Yelling is not the answer. It diminishes their self esteem and only useful if they are about to stick a fork in an outlet. Yes, two year olds are notorious for being boundary pushers but you got a real toughie on your hands.It is a real behavior issue that needs correction. There are no easy answers. You have taken every suggestion I would have made as a nursery school teacher/director and mother. It's time for some tough punishment that wont be easy on either of you. you must stop communicating with her when she disobeys and tosses attitude after you give her one chance to correct her behavior. Always stay calm and firm as you've done. But now you say(after she choses not to correct herself) If you are not going to respect me or our home you may not share it. You then give her a chance to go to her room. If there is a t.v. in there take it out. If she does not go to her room you carry her. Tell her she must stay there until you get her. When she lets herself out, which she most likely will, you carry her back and only repeat." You may not share the rest of the home until you respect me and it. "you say nothing else and don't allow her to get you in any kind of debate. this can go on for hours if they are stubborn enough. She can't be let out until she has obliged . Once she does, you don't have to keep her there long. If she is in there having a temper tantrum you have to let that ride out before you can set her free and ignore the tantrum. 20 minutes once she is staying put is all she needs. Then you go in her room and ask her if she knows why you punished her.She must apologize. If the convo goes well she can come out. If she is obnoxious she stays in her room, out for meals. If she is bad for meals she goes back to room.She wont starve if she misses a meal and you can offer meal time again after some time has passes but draw the line at some point. This pattern can take a couple of days sometimes. But she has to learn that she doest rule the roost. She can't share the common areas of the home if she can't respect her mom and the rules of the home and she can't spend time with you. The hardest thing about all this is staying strong. It doesn't work if you cave.And it can feel extreme, I know , I've done it. But it's not extreme. It's just difficult and she wont think you don't love her. That was always my fear. But it's not the case. This should work if you stick with it. Mostly because she is doing this to test you. You have to take yourself away from her and literally put her in her place.Once she is out and misbehaves again, one chance to correct and process will start over. It should start taking less and less tries to get her to stay put and eventually she should just go in when told. Then after that starts working she should start correcting her behavior once you give her the one chance. The whole process could take a week to a month to work. But it almost always does. I didn't read all the other advise so if i was redundant i apologize. Good luck and update!

Answer 5

all babies learn at there own rate. so tell them to F off and your son is really trying to tell you something he doing the best he can. Make it a game. My two year old sing a song I made up. " Hey hey Donald Jay what can we say today," have pics of things your going to have him say so he's learning what he saying at the same time. dance, sing show pic, count, and make it fun. only do that for about 15 mins at a time otherwise it baby overload and he'll just shut down . Good luck and good job on that potty thing

Answer 6

LIGHTEN UP on him and YOURSELF. Please look up developmental stages for your child's age sweetie. He is fine if HE is HAPPY. All kids display different levels of
progress in ALL areas. They MAY TALK way EARLY (18 months) but NOT walk or sleep well.
If YOU are trying to train an 18 month old BOY to use the potty~ ONLY do it if HE asks to use the potty. THAT is WAY to young and to much pressure ON YOU and him. IGNORE other moms or even FAMILY if it sounds WRONG to your mommy senses okay?.

Answer 7

My daughter is 16 months old and I am going through the same thing. I am trying to teach her words and read her books and she would rather rip the pages out of the books! She talks ALOT, we just don't understand what she's saying! =) She likes to flip through pages of hard covered books that have thick pages so toddlers can't rip them out, but when it comes to letting me read to her she's just not interested. I think all babies/toddlers do things at totally different rates. I wouldn't be too worried. If he still isn't talking by the times he's 2, you might check it out, but my mother-in-law said my hubby didn't really start using many words until he was closer to 3. Anyway, good luck to ya!

Answer 8

I hate people that are all 'my baby is cuter and better then your baby'.. these friends are putting pressure on you (even unconciously), or they are hitting a nerve with you. Either way, trying to get your child to perform to make you feel better is not good for your relationship with your child. Each child is interested in different things and learns at his own pace. Maybe your child isn't talking because he is thinking... maybe he is the strong silent type that will one day invent something to save the world, while all your friends kids are in some bar chatting it up... Each child needs a parent that supports them, that believes in them.. let your child tell you who he is, don't make him perform and fit into your code of acceptable growth

Answer 9

take a breath, it's going to be OK. keep talking to him he'll speak when he's ready. my husband didn't really speak until was almost 3 (so my mother in-law said) and then one day clear as bell he asked "Mommy can I have a glass of water?" she said she almost fell to the floor. if your worried about bring it up at your next doc apt. they can do a few test and see if there is speech problem. i would not worry too much about there are always going to be kids that do things before your son, just as he will do other things before them. good luck

PS have you thought about teaching him some sign languish? he sounds really smart i bet he would take to it and it's a to communicate without words. i found it helpful with my son.

Answer 10

Your question wa actually quite reassuring to me!!

Every child is different of course, but in our case, my baby will be 14 mths next week and still doesn't distinguish between us as Mama and Dada. We both get called Dadadada when she's happy and we both get "Muuuuuuummmmmmm" whenever she's sad.

For about a month and a half she's been making consistent sounds for consistent things. i.e. When we ask her what a dog says or what a monkey says she makes the same noises every time even if they aren't exactly 'correct'. She also picks up certain toys and calls them certain things. (Although for the most part her 'words' for them are in no way recognizable for what they really are. About the closest she's ever come was calling a plush chicken "chi-ta" for a few days, but now she's stopped with that 'word'. She does call a little plush dog "da" for the most part.)

She also fairly consistently repeats back the right number of syllables when we tell her what something is. (Just nowhere near the right consonants or vowels.)

I try and try to get her to talk, but I'm starting to wonder if she's just being lazy too because when we ask her to bring us a certain toy or book she always brings the correct one. (She's been walking since 9 1/2 months.) She'll even go to her room to get things that we're asking for that aren't in sight. A few nights ago the battery cover came off the back of an old TV remote that we gave her (without batteries in it so she'd stop trying to take ours) and I pointed at it and asked her to bring it to Mommy so I could fix it and she did it without hesitation.

Her pediatrician told her to start working on talking at her 1 year appointment 7 weks ago, (as if we're not TRYING all the time!!) but another slightly older baby in our Mommy's group and one of my cousin's babies born a month before my daughter both started talking (a few words each) couple weeks before Christmas (when they were both about 14 months old) so I'm guessing (hoping) it will be anytime now for actual words from my daughter too. (Of course based on your question I don't think I should worry as much if it's a little longer now!!)

I think people are right that repetition is the key. Just this week (in response to my worry) two parents in my office both told me that when my baby finally STARTS talking she won't ever stop (kinda like with crawling and walking :-) One's the mother of 3 kids under 7 (one being about 5 mths older than my daughter) and the other (a scientist & father of 3 boys) said that as long as you're talking TO the baby and in the presence of the baby she's bound to pick it up. A Grandma of another baby in my office that's 5 months older than mine said that her grand-daughter babbles lots too, but only really says 2-3 words at 18 months.

I also think that the person who said some babies walk early or sleep great and talk later is 100% correct. In response to another question I asked this week someone told me not everyone can be in the 50% percentile for everything. Some kids are above the average and others are below the average - that's what makes it an "average"!!

I keep an eye on the milestone charts at: http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/toddler/toddlerdevelopment/1496589.html so I know what to expect next and what to keep an eye on and encourage. My daughter slept through the night from 3 weeks and walked at 9 1/2 months; she's done ALL the other stuff on these charts WAY "early", but is "late" with everything related to talking.

I think we're doing fine as parents!! Just keep reading to your baby lots and speaking to your baby lots and the rest will just happen when it happens. (I'll remind myself to stop pressuring both of us and just let my baby be MY baby if you do??) :-) :-)
And thanks very much for being another person to make me feel better too!!

Take care.